@betelgeuse@hexbear.net

betelgeuse

@betelgeuse@hexbear.net

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betelgeuse,

The government asked me to not shit myself in public. I’m worried about losing our sense of consumer freedom and personal liberty. That’s why I’m drafting a bill that will make pants-shitting a intricate part of being an American.

betelgeuse,

“Also, I really enjoyed Blue Streak. It’s a classic.”

betelgeuse,

I will eat the toe meat off a cow that was fed chicken shit its whole life but I draw the line at cells in a sterile environment.

betelgeuse,

We must stop this violence and call for a two campus solution.

betelgeuse,

Wash your ass, it’s comradery vs washing your ass is privileged bourgeois decadence

betelgeuse,

Better than Obama? That’s a little problematic Mark.

betelgeuse,

Hexbears, famous for claiming the world is ran by Jewish bankers. It’s a thing we do often and consistently. It definitely has happened and you can tell because this person made an image.

betelgeuse,

If leftists took over the country they would, ideally, form a worker’s tribunal and execute Trump (or at least chuck him in a pit). When liberals run the country they just hope some state-level courts will make Trump pay large sums of money.

If Trump is a dangerous fascist, which method would stop him? Which method would allow him to continuously run for office?

“Typical of tankies – resort to extremism. We could just pass a law that bans Trump from being president. No violence needed and we can uphold Western values.”

Then why haven’t you done it? Oh that’s right, the precious system can be easily captures by fascists. Almost like it was designed that way. If only some tankie had written some books about this…

Xi (Foolishly) Plans Communist Answers For China’s Property Crisis. [Forbes] (www.forbes.com)

If the leaks and rumors are true, Beijing stands ready to launch a new and radical solution to the economy’s property crisis – a government takeover. What the authorities refer to as “a new model” would replace the old emphasis on ownership with more rentals and use government funds to buy up bankrupt properties so that...

betelgeuse,

Since US prices are so high, they were salivating at a Chinese housing crisis. That way they could enter the Chinese market and buy up properties for cheap. But since the government is going to buy up the cheap homes, they can’t enter the market. So now comes the propaganda tantrum about how there’s no way this will work, it’s evil, it’s authoritarian.

Problem is that shit only works on Americans. Appealing to Chinese people’s sens of individualistic English property rights doesn’t really work.

betelgeuse,

I’m gonna guess it’s a biting satire where the killer captures the male women’s studies professor and is like “You think all men should die, but aren’t you a man?” and then the professor is like “Damn I am beat by my own logic.”

betelgeuse,

You’re the global warming professor? Curious, you think humans are bad for the environment yet you live in the environment.

betelgeuse,

You’re the 1693 Project professor? You’re white and yet you think white people should die. You see, I have no choice but to kill you and you have to be okay with it. It’s what you want!

Then some conservative at an airport reading this is like “yep, that’s how this all works. if only my woke children knew this.”

betelgeuse,

Folks, the world use to be fully of 30 year olds making music for 15 year olds so giant record companies could sell CDs. Then woke happened.

betelgeuse,

“My tech evangelism job failed so now please buy my story as book, streaming show, or straight-to-streaming movie about the wacky inner workings of Hyperloop!”

betelgeuse,

Why is he riding on someone’s shoulders?

betelgeuse,

what’s up my genocides.

betelgeuse,

i know that awkward small-talk during a meal. he’s literally me.

“pastrami eh? so, like, uh…” chews wad “you do this with cows or what?” slurps drink “Is this sprite? Great. You gotta good batch. And the ice? Crushed instead of cubed? Gotta love that. So does that come from a machine or what?”

betelgeuse,

Huffing my steam deck fumes, getting the munchies and eating the single hot chip and washing it down with the panera lemonade.

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