Whatever you’re feeling, it’s all valid. Nothing is ever really black or white, and you don’t have to try and keep your emotions in clearly defined boxes. Just feel what you’re feeling, acceptance is key. Having conflicting emotions is a common and understandable thing.
For a more personal opinion: this idea that someone being related means you owe them something… well, frankly it’s asinine. We don’t choose our blood relatives, we get stuck with them. Some people win the family lottery, others get stuck with a bunch of assholes. Take the whole blood thing out of the equation, is what I’d say. Missing what you might have had is only human, but separate this from the people they actually were. I guess, ask yourself this: if you weren’t related to them, would you have chosen to have them in your life at all? Your real family is the one you choose. Some people just really aren’t worth your time, even if only because you have to protect your own mental health and happiness.
In your case, if I understand correctly, you’ve already decided not to have them in your life. Maybe it’s just that the finality of death makes you doubt your own choices in this? I’d say trust your instincts and the choices you made. We cannot control or change other people, only the way we respond to them.
This is what you take away from my comment? Nobody was attacking anyone until you started berating OP for having thoughts. Do you honestly think I’m walking around calling fat people names all the time? Or that OP does that? Of course not. What we’re thinking inside our own heads does not constitute an attack.
It’s hilarious that you think you’re on some moral high ground, implying that you never have any negative thoughts about anyone. Go stand on a lego, please.
Wtf are you talking about? Nowhere does OP say he’s angry or even really bothered by it at all. He just thinks “oh ewww, that looks disgusting” and then goes about his day. What’s more disturbing is that so many people apparently seem to think that being this fat is actually something we should just accept or even celebrate.
I feel like society should have a role in making sure people don’t ever get this fat. And not because it’s “eww” or ugly, but because it’s fucking unhealthy. Whenever I see a person like this, I feel pity. You don’t get this fat in a few months. This means years and years of bad habits, lack of access to healthy foods, maybe a terrible childhood with parents who didn’t give a shit, no assistance from the people around you who just stand by and watch it happen (or even enable it), very likely a highly fucked up self image and other issues. This is simply not healthy. It’s terrible.
And this weird thing is happening where people can’t even say these things anymore without being attacked by people like you. I think you actually believe that OP’s opinion is the outlandish one. And that just makes me sad.
Exactly right! I think we’re actually agreed on this.
I just meant that OP used to say they ought to do it, which was his ‘emotional’ response to it, which is easier when it’s in abstract. But in reality he doesn’t like it at all when his government actually does it.
I’d never heard about that reddit story, but I think it’s very apt, lol.
This is because we can be of two minds about these things. You can have a personal response to heinous acts, but still think the government ought to be better.
If some guy murders the murderer of their kid, I can absolutely 100% understand why, and I could even admit that I might do the same in their position. But I still think that as a society we should not lower ourselves to this standard and I will always be against the death penalty (especially because the system will never be perfect and I will never think it’s worth killing even one innocent person by accident).
It’s why vigilante justice is so easily understood, but it’s still something we, as a society, shouldn’t accept.
Emotional reactions can cloud our minds to these things. But I absolutely agree with you. This is horrendous and barbarous. I can still somewhat understand the “he deserves it for what he did”-response, but I’m absolutely against this on a deeper level.
Nobody is coercing you to do anything when your employer doesn’t want people spreading disease in their company. Nobody is coercing anyone if e.g. hospitals refuse to hire someone who hasn’t had certain vaccinations. It has nothing to do with coercion. It has to do with the fact that actions and choices have consequences. You don’t get to willingly disregard (the safety of) everyone else and expect to be welcome everywhere.
If I choose not to shower, and stink to high heaven, some employers won’t hire me. If I choose not to wear shoes, or walk around in my underwear, I will be denied access to many places. Does this mean I am being coerced to shower and wear clothes?
Actions have consequences. It’s just that simple. You can always choose to not do x, but when it’s a requirement for y, you won’t get to do y unless you do x. And speaking of rights, what about everyone else’s rights to not have to sit/work/eat/wait next to Typhoid Mary? Or is it really your opinion that whatever someone does, their right to do whatever is more important than the rest of society? Do you think businesses should be forced to allow anyone inside no matter what? Employers are not allowed to set requirements for their employees?