Use too much improper grammar and you’re lazy and rude. Use too little and you’re also rude.
Genuinely not sure what you mean by this.
It’s rude to use “too little” improper grammar?
Where are you getting that from?
But to your main point:
Why are neurotypicals in charge of making up the social rules?
Why are you under the assumption that the social rules are something they all got together and agreed upon?
Social rules form over time in cultures, based on the interactions of individuals. It’s part of the social zeitgeist. Neurotypical people make up the majority, they do the most social interaction, so the overall “rules” are formed by them.