I remember my mom once worriedly asked me if I was gay because “I never saw you with a girlfriend”. I was a rude, long-haired, weird looking rocker asshole, and 15 at the time of the question.
My mom would randomly ask me "what do you think about <whatever hot celebrity happened to be on TV>. Yea mom, I’m not gay but I’m not talking about this shit with you either.
This just makes me think of all the times my mom accused me of being high years before I ever touched any drugs every time I would ask for something to eat because I was hungry.
I acknowledge the possibility of attractive people being involuntarily celibate, but I suspect that is is much less likely than for unattractive people.
You definitely get more eyeballs when you are good-looking, but there is no natural drive belt that automatically turns these into more partners for you.
Are you kidding? Even with a bad personality and a tic disorder someone that looks like this can get dates. Have you never been around a beautiful person before?
Or just change your standards. Try to find someone you share something in common with, don’t just go for looks. I don’t know if that’s helpful or actionable though.
I don’t go for looks. I am too ugly for that. It seems I struggle with finding a common ground with women. Add to that my emotional dysregulation and you have a recipe for disaster like me.
Consider not looking for women and just looking for people that share your interests. The more people you interact with, the more likely one of them will either be a woman or know a woman who you’d be interested in.
Then again, random Internet advice is worth about what you paid for it. Good luck! I hope you find what you’re looking for.
I wish it were that simple. My primary interests are books. I couldn’t find any book clubs in my city. Since, finishing college I have no way of meeting new people.
Try discord servers for books, my best friend found his partner on one and a couple years later he moved countrys to live with her! Try reading groups or other such things and you’ll surely find people you have something in common with, and who knows where those relationships will lead you
When is the last time you checked? My local library hosts a couple, and there are a few in my neighborhood, though you’d need to get to know people first.
So that’s what I recommend. If you love books, get to know your neighbors and talk to them about the books you love. You might just find a local book club or something.
My parents had this conversation with me once I hit college. I was thankful that they were open minded and supportive but it was awkward convincing them that while I very much liked the opposite gender I had other priorities at that time.
My parents always used language that didn’t presume we were heterosexual. Eventually, she started using even more inclusive language specifically for me, which was kinda weird but cool. I think she’s finally just realized I’m not interested in romance or sex. Idk. I don’t like bringing up topics like that, and I think she wants to give me space to bring that kind of thing up when I’m ready, so we just play a guessing game?
One of my sisters once told me she was proud of me for being out with my bisexuality.
When asked, she said it was because I am liberal, and often refer to the people I date as partners. Then I had to explain to her what nonmonogamy was, and I’m not sure if that was more or less acceptable to her.
Parents: “son its ok if you’re gay, we know its hard being different in a small town like this but youre still our child and we will always love you no matter what”
Me: “mom, dad, i’m not gay.”
Mom: “really? you sure about that?”
Dad: “you’ve literally never had a girlfriend and would be the only straight guy in town who hasnt. hell even most of the gay kids have had a beard at some point.”
Me: “i’m not gay… i’m just horribly depressed and have zero self esteem.”
Mom: “shit. whoops. i suppose we better find you a therapist then.”
I mean, your parents thought of you, tried to connect, listened, then started lining up care.
Parents be winning.
If you thought you’d get out of your teenage years without death-by-embarrassment, you’re kidding yourself.
To connect with you, my parents discovered the evidence of long term daily self harm when I was in a bike crash and was unconscious. They otherwise believed me happy and healthy. That wasn’t a fun conversation in the hospital, with a concussion.
As a parent, most of us just want to help, but it’s incredibly hard to know what’s going on inside your head.
I was a kid once too, and I know how hard dealing with parents can be. But I also know that every time I opened up, they attempted to help. Give it a shot, unless they’re actually abuse.
Even today when my daughter is a self sufficient adult, whenever she calls for advice, the first thing I do is bring my mind back in time to when I was that age and remember what was going through my head when a similar situation to hers arose.
It’s not natural for me to do this. I have to make conscious effort. But it’s proven to give me better perspective and increases her level of trust with me.
Yup, the age old “listen” and “consider things from their perspective.” If you can master that (incredibly difficult), you’ll master all forms of social interaction, not just parenting.
It’s not a HIPPA violation if you’re a minor and the information is being released to your parents. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re required to disclose any and all information to your parents unpon request. Minors have no rights to privacy against their parents at least in the US.
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