@StefanThinks@beige.party
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

StefanThinks

@StefanThinks@beige.party

Joke attempter. Mildly annoying. Occasionally humorous. I don't post jokes I didn't come up with unless I give credit. I try to be original or at least original-adjacent. Formerly known on Twitter as https://beige.party/@StefanThinks

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

StefanThinks, to random
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If you elect me as president, we will have a day where pine cones and pretty rocks can be used as legal tender.

StefanThinks, to random
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Ghost hunting is so cruel. They're already dead. Why do you have to kill them again? Are you even going to use it for ghost meat?

StefanThinks, to random
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I think I will start a new trend where I nitpick minutiae on people's social media posts. They will really appreciate it, especially if I am antagonistic and pedantic about it.

StefanThinks, to random
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Maybe Hamburglar wouldn’t have to steal food if they paid him a living wage???

StefanThinks, to random
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I’ve never been in a cage fight, but I have been to a Golden Corral on steak night.

StefanThinks, to random
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Tip: if a skunk sprays you, take a bath in tomato sauce, so you will smell like a pizzeria for skunks.

StefanThinks, to random
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If you live alone, always click the “Are you still watching?” button. One day, Netflix might be your only alibi to prove your innocence.

StefanThinks, to random
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It would make everyone’s lives so much easier if we just renamed it ‘duck tape.’

StefanThinks, to random
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Does anyone remember that account with the cat profile picture?

StefanThinks, to random
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My retirement plan of finding out I have a long-lost wealthy uncle who left me his estate doesn’t look like it will come to fruition. Luckily, I have a backup plan of finding a briefcase full of money in a taxi.

StefanThinks, to random
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“I had to walk to school uphill, both ways!” – M.C. Escher

StefanThinks, to random
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I tried to smoke a brisket, but now my bong is all greasy.

StefanThinks, to random
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Did you know that house cats would kill you if they physically could? Don't ever let your cat get a gym membership.

StefanThinks, to random
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Do you know what’s cooler than putting people down? Raising people up! :blobcathug:

StefanThinks, to random
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I'm shy at first, but once I get to know you, I'm just avoiding you.

StefanThinks, to random
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Did you know you don't have to have a strong opinion on every little thing?

StefanThinks, to random
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I tried to use an Ouija board to contact my late grandma, but she’s not responding. I have a feeling she’s ghosting me.

StefanThinks, to random
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I would bet $20 that every single person believes in at least a few conspiracy theories.

StefanThinks, to random
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How are vampires so well-kempt and dapper if they can’t use mirrors?

StefanThinks, to random
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There should be a shorter word for procrastination.

StefanThinks, to random
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My toot got 2K likes, I guess I should leave Mastodon while I'm on top, I'll never be able to beat that.

StefanThinks,
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@zalasur 🫶

StefanThinks,
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@daisy 🫶

StefanThinks, to random
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Why do babies get to have all the onesies with booties and mittens??? It's not fair!

StefanThinks,
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@zalasur fair enough 😔

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