To me, being on the meds makes me feel… weird? Slightly hollowed out? I can’t find the best words for it, but the whole chorus of sensory input and thoughts and impulses that I’m used to off-meds somewhat quiets down and my head feels a lot emptier.
On the other hand, it has the significant advantage that there is more space for the things I do want to focus on, and I’ve figured out I can sort of fill the void with music. It creates a padding, further suppresses distractions, and I can filter it out quite well if I need to focus more intensely. It slightly depends on how well I know the music, but that’s not a hard-and-fast rule either.
So I admit it’s useful for being productive during the day and by extension good for my self-esteem and mental health if I know I can get stuff done, but I also enjoy when it wears off in the evenings and I sink back into the familiar bustle.
The side effects like heart rate, blood pressure, occasional feeling of anxiety and nervosity out of nowhere and increased sweating suck though. I could really do without them.
Yeah, more or less. Stimulants tend to have a contradictory calming and/or focusing effect on the ADHD brain. I don’t remember why exactly but it probably has to do with dopamine regulation, which our brains crave like a zombie does brains.
My diagnosis kind of explained why I can drink inordinate amounts of coffee or energy drinks (don’t do this) and sleep like a log 30min later lol
Some brain cells make dopamine to reinforce behaviors. Dopamine slots into receptor, you get that feeling of satisfaction. A protein in the brain cell wall vacuums up excess dopamine so it doesn’t just flood the brain forever, constantly triggering the receptors.
ADHD brain cell dopamine vacuums are just always on max speed all the time.
Methylphenidate slows the vacuums down so the dopamine doesn’t get sucked right back down, meaning it actually has a chance to reach the receptors and do its job.
It’s not quite that our brains crave dopamine, it’s that our brains are too good at tidying it up, kinda like someone following around behind you as you set the table, putting all the clean dinnerware straight into the dishwasher unused.
I ran out of Vyvanse three weeks back. It’s been months my rather low dose didn’t do its full effect anymore, I just didn’t go back to see my doc to get it adjusted. However, looking at how much of a disorganized mess I am these last couple of weeks, I guess it was still doing something - holy shit am I not getting much done, like, at all 😬
Yeah, I’ve felt a bit of the same. My meds don’t seem to do much until I miss a dose then I’m like… Whelp, I’m fucking useless today.
At first the drugs have a kind of amplified effect, as that simmers down, the effects are still there, it’s just, not as pronounced and noticable.
And to be clear to anyone who isn’t ADHD and on meds, they’re not magic. The ADHD is still definitely there, all the medication does is dim the effects to a more manageable level. Before medication, trying to get something done that my brain wasn’t super interested in, would be like trying to nail jello to a wall. It just wouldn’t happen. Now I can actually get myself off the couch, put down my phone and do a thing without feeling like I’m dragging my corpse along for the ride.
I used to be on ADHD stimulant meds up until I just tried living without them. Was on them as far back as I can remember, and then one day, I had no appetite, so I stopped and realized that the anxiety they gave me was hurting me more than I thought. Now, I’m on anxiety medication that sometimes makes it hard to focus, and I’m not entirely sure how to find that balance of being productive and not having panic attacks daily. Has anyone else experienced this?
Sounds similar to my girlfriend. She gets overwhelmed with how much she has to do that she freezes, then has a panic attack because nothing is getting accomplished. I help by picking whatever seems most pressing and telling her to focus on that and nothing else. When it’s done we pick another thing.
I’m sure this isn’t groundbreaking advice (or even good advice, “just do the thing” yeah no shit), but if you struggle with getting started it might be worth to ask someone to handle organizing the tasks for you.
Yes. Same experience. I have now dropped my Adderall to 2.5 to 5 mg per day, depending on how productive I need to be, splitting between 6 am for the first dose and noon or so for the second if I need it. I take 80mg of atomoxetine as well. Additionally on buspirone for anxiety and prazosin for PTSD symptoms I have from a childhood of undiagnosed ADHD. With that mix I find myself able to do things, capable of feeling some hunger, and not having panic attacks about the most meaningless garbage. But don’t take my cocktail as gospel. Brains are weird. Everyone is different. Try everything until you find what balance works for you. If your doctor won’t let you try and find the right meds and the right dose, get a different doctor.
I do this accidentally. I do one thing that’s inhibited by another thing not being done, repeat, until I’m doing 3 separate tasks and forgot what I was trying to do initially until an hour later.
Apparently the official Concerta version has some trademarked time-release technology, so it’s a series of small evenly-spaced doses.
I don’t know what about it is trademarked but it makes it very hard to compete with.
Well there’s your problem. You only need 1 medicine. If you eat more than they fight each other in your system and don’t work because they die in battle. 4 or 5 is like a world War.
They likely tried them one after the other… Makes more sense before you assume they just down 4 different meds at the same time. Still possible of course.
That’s kind of how I felt getting on some anti anxiety meds in my 40s. I have had “butterflies in my stomach” everyday since I was a kid, now they’re pretty much gone.
I tried that. The meds bonked me out of my gourd so hard that a single dose had me trapped in a chair staring at a wall for an entire weekend. I ran away screaming and never looked back.
I was 33 when I finally asked about a prescription; and I felt kinda dumb that I had been “just dealing with it” my whole life, when suddenly breathing had become much easier with ant-anxiety meds.
I guess I was worried about becoming addicted or would lose coping skills and become dependent on it in order to function. But nope. I was wasting so much mental energy before, just trying to wake up and feeling like the sun was screaming at me. I can taper down my dose when my anxiety is more controlled, sometimes I forget that I didn’t take it. Sometimes I wake up and pretty much immediately take it.
It helped me to begin understanding my anxiety on a much different level than simply, “I’m just having a bad day”. It was a game changer
I hear ya. I kind of just have always had a distrust of pharma generally and psych drugs specifically. What made me go for it ultimately was conversations with family members who had the same symptoms telling me how much it helped them. I was like damn, this shit is genetic, and maybe I don’t just deserve it for not exercising or some shit.
I’m finally taking meds for my ADHD and while I don’t feel like I can control what I focus on, it does seem to help in my ability to suppress distracting thoughts, especially when around others. I still have to put myself in situations where distractions are less likely to happen in order to get stuff done, but it does feel easier.
So like everything else, not a silver bullet but it does help. However I skipped a day and felt like shit; is withdrawal a thing?
What meds, instant/extended release, and what dosage?
I’m on Adderall XR 15mg and after an initial “holy fuck” phase for a couple weeks it’s tapered off into a nice rhythm. Shit isn’t perfect, but I’m able to get up and get shit done. However, I also have the “I’m not hungry because of Adderall thing. And the thought of eating right now disgusts me.”. Which helps with the ADHD snack binges I’ve struggled with. So I’ll take that over the upset/queasy stomach feeling I had with a non-stimulant med I took for a few months a couple years back
If I wind up skipping a day I’m usually fine and don’t feel any negative impacts. However, I also drink a shit ton of coffee (typically black) so that could be helping curb any withdraw sysmtpoms.
I used to stay up half the night during college so I wouldn’t get distracted. To this day, I kond of prefer being up late when nobody else is around bcz it means I won’t get distracted easily.
Could be Bupropion or Atomoxetine. I’ve been on the former, but it didn’t do a lot for my ADHD. It did give me a wonderful few weeks filled with panic attacks and having my mind convinced that every little ache I felt must be because I was dying of something. Of course everybody responds differently, so don’t let that deter you if it is prescribed, but for me I never want to touch that stuff again.
I tried Atomoxetine and didn’t like it, I don’t recall any major mental benefits (maybe my motivation was non existent) but I did recall MAJOR sex related side effects that absolutely sucked.
Wow, that’s rough. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’ve been taking it for probably close to 8 months now give or take? No side effects like that but I’m still not entirely sold on it. It helps me focus, but I get sweats/chills from it, and it really fucks with my mood sometimes. I also don’t like how super hyperfocused I get sometimes while on it.
I’m on Buproprion SR now for my recent ADHD diagnosis. That said, I absolutely know what you mean about the anxiety that it can give you! When I was younger, I was prescribed it for a different reason and it remains the only time in my life that I experienced actual panic attacks. I’m so relieved it hasn’t been my experience with it as an adult. I’m very fortunate to have a doctor that was taking my concerns serious and supportive as I adjusted to it - still is, we meet again in May. I’m not sure I’ll stay on it because it doesn’t do enough I feel like. Plus, while it doesn’t give me anything even close to panic attacks, it still makes me feel more anxious that usual I think…
It’s been 15+ years for me (although with lots of on and off), but if you’re used to living with ADHD, it can feel like a fog is being lifted. You can suddenly hold more in your head at once and don’t have to mentally “drop” a thought to be able to process other things. It’s like slotting in an extra stick of RAM.
The meds probably have that effect on anyone, but it’s profound if you’ve been working with a deficit.
Back in the 70s & 80s kids were, on-average, given 30mg instant release of Ritalin a day to start. These days they’ve cut that starting dose down to 5mg 2x a day for IR and the long acting is 10-20 once a day depending on the child’s weight.
Dosage back then was also determined by severity of “undesired” symptoms instead of other factors like body mass and how well a lower starting dose is performing.
When I was a kid I was struggling in school so my parents put me on some nasty amphetamine derivative which I stayed on until my mid 20s. It didn’t really make anything easier it just made boring things seem more interesting. I didn’t realize this until after I stopped and I regret not getting off of it sooner.
I think I could still benefit from the right adhd drugs but it’s just not worth it.
Hmm almost seems preferable to stay “normal” and try to come up with elaborate coping mechanisms.
Like I can’t do a single thing at work without writing it down on a pad of paper. It’s like my conscience and short and long term memory and fidget toy all wrapped in one.
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