Actually, do Octopi even need opposable thumbs? They can grasp things with their tentacles as effectively as we can grasp with ournl thumbs, can’t they?
Ah, welcome back to another video where today we’re diving into the most ambitious open-world game ever created, the real world, featuring the starting species Homo sapiens. Now, developers really outdid themselves with this one, creating a game that’s perfectly balanced with no exploits whatsoever… or so they thought. You see, Homo sapiens, these peculiar little characters, have stumbled upon an absolutely game-breaking exploit: endurance running. Unlike their in-game counterparts, these lads can run super large distances, outpacing virtually any prey in the long run, literally.
Now, you might be wondering, “How does this translate into an exploit?” Well, sit back as I demonstrate the sheer unbalanced nature of this ability. Our Homo sapiens ancestors used this stamina hack to hunt down creatures that, by all accounts, should have easily outmatched them. But no, through sheer persistence and a bit of clever thinking, they turned their sweaty long-distance jogs into the most effective hunting strategy, revolutionizing the food chain and leveling up humanity.
But here’s the twist in the tale, the crème de la crème of human ingenuity. What becomes of this unprecedented endurance exploit? Ah, it leads to the cultural revolution that is the invention of Yorkshire Tea. That’s the real endgame here. Our Homo sapiens didn’t just use their marathon prowess for survival; oh no, they transcended. With all the excess resources and leisure time afforded by their unparalleled hunting strategy, they brewed up civilizations, refined cultures, and yes, perfected the art of tea-making. So, in a world that’s perfectly balanced with no exploits whatsoever, it’s the human spirit of persistence and a penchant for long runs that gave us the ultimate exploit: the creation of Yorkshire Tea. A true testament to how a simple exploit can lead to the pinnacle of culinary excellence and cultural sophistication.
(disclaimer: wrote it, but used GPT4 to tweak the style to fit spiff a bit more)
Needs a bit in the first paragraph that reads “Now sit back, grab your cup of Yorkshire Tea, and watch as we totally break this perfectly balanced game,” etc.
They exploited the communication feature and are basically acting as one huge server wide guild of jobless arseholes having nothing better to do than ruining the fun for everyone else all day long.
Not a fan of this unit. They do nothing for ages and then when you’ve forgotten they’re there they hit a technological singularity out of nowhere and take out most of the ecosystem along with themselves.
Humams are also an invasive species out of its original ecological niche. They were supposed to stay in Africa with the hyenas, cocodriles and lions keeping them in check.
Once humans learned to throw sharp sticks and not venture too far alone the threat of any predators is greatly diminished. The moment any kind of civilization formed there’s no amount of hyenas and Crocs and lions that could keep humans in check. I doubt the civilizations of ancient Nubia lived in fear of predators.
People living in cities were fine, but rural folks in the northern hemisphere were certainly terrified of wolves and bears long after civilization was established in their area.
humanity basically started by gaming the system. maybe it’s just our nature to lie and cheat and worm our way into position and out of consequence. maybe corruption is just what we’re best at.
I think any creature evolved through competition and natural selection will end up this way.
Lying, killing, stealing, loving, building community, etc. are advantageous to survival at different times and in different situations. Seems the best survival tactic for us was to just keep improving and blending these.
We are at the point in our development where a lot of them don’t fit as well anymore. But they won’t go anywhere unless they impact mating success or stop being passed down for genetic reason.
I always say I doubt the Star Trek outcome bc of this. Any species able to unify and utilize all their resources to leave their planet is only going to be able to get there by conquering into one civilization.
To this day dogs behave more like toddlers and cats more like roommates. Or bratty teenagers complete with, “You’re not my real dad!” depending on your cat.
Apparently dogs more-or-less domesticated themselves as scavengers around human settlements and were initially used for transportation (sledding in ancient Siberia), vs hunting - here’s a pretty decent podcast: shows.acast.com/the-ancients/…/the-first-dogs
Plus humans are smart enough to steer prey towards natural barriers like cliffs and rivers and basically no prey animals are smart enough to see it coming. When possible this is more efficient than actually running prey down to the point of exhaustion.
Hyenas were quite successful in hunting us in our early stages. We found a remarkable number of sites that we identified as hyena dens, that have a shocking amount of eaten humans as well as other fauna
weights as much as a deer
same diet as a rat and a pig combined
biped like an emu
hairless like an elephant
otter-like obsession with bashing rocks
looks like a baby-faced chimp or gorilla, even when adult
OP intelligence and endurance stats
This shit is a fake! NO, THERE’S NO HUMAN TO CATCH UNDER THE TRUCK! And no, you won’t become a human with a cat face and bunny body!
And in a game where ranged attacks are practically non-existent, save for a few ones able to spit venom or water under highly specific circumstances, the ability to just throw a rock and damage you while being out of harm’s way makes the Homo Sapiens play literally a different game.
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