The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac by Mary Oliver

Lenguador, 11 months ago

I quite like the ending:

How desperate I would be
if I couldn’t remember
the sun rising, if I couldn’t
remember trees, rivers; if I couldn’t
even remember, beloved,
your beloved name.

The cadence is reminiscent of a person sobbing, or of a mind unraveling, struggling to get words out.

The entire first half though, I didn't enjoy. The author discovered they have cancer, and the discovery was sudden/unexpected. I suppose the author felt themselves to be "hunted" by the cancer, and, like prey, they were taken unawares. But for me the analogy of cancer/hunter body/forest doesn't work.

The line Hunters walk the forest appeared on first reading only to refer to The hunter, strapped to his rifle; I had to read a second time to understand the intent. On third reading, I realised I should have paid attention to the capitalisation, which may have made it clear from the start.

I think changing 2 words would improve the poem:

The hunter, strapped to his rifle,
entered the forest of my body,

to

The man, strapped to his rifle,
prowled the forest of my body,

In this way the word "hunter" is not repeated, and the sentence is less likely to be misread. And "prowled" emphasizes that the cancer has already struck. To me, the word "entered" makes the cancer feel too distant.