feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

Would you rather have Amazon Prime One Medical or AppleCare?

thatguyoverthere,
@thatguyoverthere@shitposter.club avatar

@feld :smash: I hate the 21st century

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@thatguyoverthere well 19th century healthcare was like "amputate it and take this cocaine" so we're pretty close to returning to that

Hoss,
@Hoss@shitpost.cloud avatar

Cocaine makes you feel better, which means it's medicine that's curing you. Our great great grandparents knew what was up.

BowsacNoodle,
@BowsacNoodle@poa.st avatar

@Hoss @feld @thatguyoverthere Never forget one of the big four founders of John's Hopkins, William Stewart Halsted, was a habitual cocaine user and is the reason we give medical residents an 80 hour work week.
>Gee whiz why are these lazy people not wanting to work more I can be totally productive for 90+ hours a week by the way do you have any more cocaine?

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@BowsacNoodle @Hoss @thatguyoverthere our grandmothers from like the 40s through the 60s were cranked out on speed that's why they were so productive too

BowsacNoodle,
@BowsacNoodle@poa.st avatar

@feld @Hoss @thatguyoverthere Real talk but low dose amphetamine usage is pretty rad and can cure anxiety and depression in people who are overwhelmed and don't know how to start.

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@BowsacNoodle @Hoss @thatguyoverthere yeah but they did it to stay thin and turn the home kitchen into a fucking industrial cannery lol

Hoss,
@Hoss@shitpost.cloud avatar

Cocaine is a gift from Mother Earth to keep our best and brightest overclocked and accelerating humanity's understanding of the universe

kroner,
@kroner@seal.cafe avatar

Put the coke back in Coke

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@kroner @BowsacNoodle @Hoss @thatguyoverthere and the lithium back into 7-Up while we're at it

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@kroner @BowsacNoodle @Hoss @thatguyoverthere "just give it to your fussy baby" -- we are monsters

kroner,
@kroner@seal.cafe avatar

My Grandpa always talks about how back when he was a baby they'd give him a teaspoon of whiskey to shut him up

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@kroner @BowsacNoodle @Hoss @thatguyoverthere in the 80s my mom knew a local woman who would have the bartender put peppermint Schnapps in the baby bottle so it would stop crying and they could keep smoking and playing cards in peace

That baby became valedictorian of their class. Really makes you think.

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@kroner @BowsacNoodle @Hoss @thatguyoverthere also my grandma was born premature and they thought she was gonna die so they put her in a shoebox on top of the oven to keep warm and she survived

who needs an intensive care unit anyway?

thatguyoverthere,
@thatguyoverthere@shitposter.club avatar

@feld @BowsacNoodle @kroner @Hoss I mean... you're here so it worked well enough :)

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@thatguyoverthere @BowsacNoodle @kroner @Hoss also my grandma used to tell me stories of how it was normal for pregnant women to be working in the fields, squat, push out a baby, wrap it in extra linen like a sling and tie it to your body, and keep working.

I don't know how that's really possible to do without some level of malnutrition creating a low birth weight or how you just overcome the intensity of childbirth like that, but they did.

They also buried the baby in the woods if they were too poor to care for it.

Old people have good stories of shit they experienced day to day before "modernization" and "globalization", that's for sure.

edit: I'm aware I've said "also my grandma" twice in this thread and sound like a broken clock

BowsacNoodle,
@BowsacNoodle@poa.st avatar

@kroner @feld @Hoss @thatguyoverthere I wish I could try coca leaves. I have never used cocaine by choice, but I'd definitely try chewing the leaves.

thatguyoverthere,
@thatguyoverthere@shitposter.club avatar

@BowsacNoodle @feld @kroner @Hoss > by choice
:Thinker: who is forcing you to use cocaine and can you introduce me

thatguyoverthere,
@thatguyoverthere@shitposter.club avatar

@feld There were probably more than 2 or 3 cocaine importers and saw sharpening services around though

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@thatguyoverthere do you have any idea how far I have to go to get a bone saw these days?

thatguyoverthere,
@thatguyoverthere@shitposter.club avatar
feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@thatguyoverthere so, China

istvan,
@istvan@poa.st avatar

@feld @thatguyoverthere Don’t live near a Harbor Freight?

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@istvan @thatguyoverthere I'd rather not have my bone saw break when I'm halfway through 😭

kaia,
@kaia@brotka.st avatar

@feld which trauma team has the better guns?

polarisera,
@polarisera@spinster.xyz avatar

@feld I want Walmart Plus, banking, baking, drugs and health care.

feld,
@feld@bikeshed.party avatar

@polarisera I went to get an outpatient procedure at Super Walmart and they fucked up and left me with a Sam's Club Foot.

I lost my job and now I can't sue because I had to sign my rights to arbitration away. Help!

zop,

@feld @polarisera better than a Sam’s Club Sandwich Foot!

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