Happily Never After
Hello, I am 20F and have been texting this guy (21) I met for about 2 years now. We actually live close to each other. It’s about 30 to 40 minutes but throughout the time when we will plan a date, either he or I would cancel for me, it was due to insecurities (We’ll get into that later). He has expressed to me many times that he’s likes me and gives me compliments but I am not gonna lie and say that I am not a cause as to why me and him aren’t together. I used to do s*x work on the side because of my financial state. He was coming on pretty strong on wanting to date but I didn’t want to hurt him in the end or lie to him if we did start dating. So I told him. The reaction wasn’t great, we didn’t talk for a while after that.
{He has told me the type of women he likes, woman that loves god, wants kids and marriage, goes to the gym all that good stuff. Me on the other is an atheist, don’t want neither and I’m 117lbs, so I don’t see how he’s attracted, I just think of it as settling. He was adopted into a good family with money and I’m poor, literally nothing to my name. It just doesn’t make sense.}
After I told him, we were just texting on and off for a while. And then we were doing good as friends until we got into this debate (we think differently on most things so it’s something we do a lot) this particular time, he started to talk about the type of woman that he’s looking for (again) and I responded by saying that I’m not looking for a man or marriage or kids. I just want to be able to experience my life now when I’m young. He got into a whole rant, I stood on what I said then got blocked lol.
2 days later I got a text from him, he was checking up on me. I told him I missed him and he said he missed me too. I asked him why he blocked me he said (in his words) “I think i just liked u and i didn’t wanna get hurt. So I kinda said fuck it, imma just save myself the trouble.” He apologized and we were good, yesterday he was venting about how lonely he is and how hard it is to find the girl that he wants. I tried to give him suggestions, knocked it all down. In his rant he even included me in it saying I was joking with him (I didn’t realize that he said that until way later in our conversation) so I wasn’t able to go deep into what he meant, but I wasn’t joking with him. After his vent we went back to talking normally but I probably said something I shouldn’t, I told him I’ll be moving soon to Fl, we live in the Northeast. He then says “Should I take you out at least once since I never met you” and I said “Too late” he responded saying “cool” and then after that he was just giving me dry messages after that and then left me in delivered. I wasn’t really serious about it, I should’ve told him or put an “lol” so he wouldn’t think I was serious but damage done once again. I think I’m just meant to be single.
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