Happily Never After

Hello, I am 20F and have been texting this guy (21) I met for about 2 years now. We actually live close to each other. It’s about 30 to 40 minutes but throughout the time when we will plan a date, either he or I would cancel for me, it was due to insecurities (We’ll get into that later). He has expressed to me many times that he’s likes me and gives me compliments but I am not gonna lie and say that I am not a cause as to why me and him aren’t together. I used to do s*x work on the side because of my financial state. He was coming on pretty strong on wanting to date but I didn’t want to hurt him in the end or lie to him if we did start dating. So I told him. The reaction wasn’t great, we didn’t talk for a while after that.

{He has told me the type of women he likes, woman that loves god, wants kids and marriage, goes to the gym all that good stuff. Me on the other is an atheist, don’t want neither and I’m 117lbs, so I don’t see how he’s attracted, I just think of it as settling. He was adopted into a good family with money and I’m poor, literally nothing to my name. It just doesn’t make sense.}

After I told him, we were just texting on and off for a while. And then we were doing good as friends until we got into this debate (we think differently on most things so it’s something we do a lot) this particular time, he started to talk about the type of woman that he’s looking for (again) and I responded by saying that I’m not looking for a man or marriage or kids. I just want to be able to experience my life now when I’m young. He got into a whole rant, I stood on what I said then got blocked lol.

2 days later I got a text from him, he was checking up on me. I told him I missed him and he said he missed me too. I asked him why he blocked me he said (in his words) “I think i just liked u and i didn’t wanna get hurt. So I kinda said fuck it, imma just save myself the trouble.” He apologized and we were good, yesterday he was venting about how lonely he is and how hard it is to find the girl that he wants. I tried to give him suggestions, knocked it all down. In his rant he even included me in it saying I was joking with him (I didn’t realize that he said that until way later in our conversation) so I wasn’t able to go deep into what he meant, but I wasn’t joking with him. After his vent we went back to talking normally but I probably said something I shouldn’t, I told him I’ll be moving soon to Fl, we live in the Northeast. He then says “Should I take you out at least once since I never met you” and I said “Too late” he responded saying “cool” and then after that he was just giving me dry messages after that and then left me in delivered. I wasn’t really serious about it, I should’ve told him or put an “lol” so he wouldn’t think I was serious but damage done once again. I think I’m just meant to be single.

Buddahriffic,

If it makes you feel any better, I’m seeing a bunch of potential red flags in this post. Like “woman who loves god” when you’re atheist would have likely meant you’d get pressured to convert at the very least, but also high potential for him to be a controlling misogynist. And disagreeing on most things isn’t a good sign for compatibility, like what happens when you disagree on something that isn’t compromisable, like whether your child should be vaccinated?

Also, moving to Florida might be something you will regret.

deadgirlwalking,

Yes, me and him have gotten into debates about our beliefs, but he has never tried to push his religion on me. We don’t really talk about our exes or anything like that for me to get that type of information . Lol I’m only going to Florida because where I live currently there’s no jobs available and they’re racist. I’m going back there to live with my mom and get a better opportunity there hopefully.

Buddahriffic,

There’s so many stories of guys acting one way before they think you’re locked down and then changing when you’re more securely tied to them. There’s no guarantee that he’s like that, but one sign can be a stance where he thinks religion is necessary for goodness.

Also, there’s changes in the way our (men and women both) brains work in relationships. Early on, during the honeymoon phase, it’s like a chemical addiction to the feel good hormones that go along with a relationship. Both people will be more tolerant of issues big and small and quicker to dismiss problems or concerns. Over time, this effect fades.

It’s possible for someone to say early on it’s not important to them whether you do x, as long as you’re happy and fully mean it in the moment. And then, later on, realize that it is important to them that you do x and be happy about it (though many don’t even consider that second part and just assume if you give in and do it, of course you’ll be happy with it without realizing they are making that assumption).

That honeymoon phase is dangerous. It’s why I think it’s a bad idea to marry quickly because you’re not in the right state of mind to determine if you really do want to spend your life with someone.

As for Florida, I’m not sure your experience with racism will improve there (though it could depend on which minorities you present as), and be aware that your options are severely limited if you end up pregnant, even if it’s a desired and planned pregnancy. I’m seeing stories of pregnant women just being turned away at ERs because it’s not clear what might expose HCWs to liability if a pregnancy goes bad.

TheAlbatross,

If sounds like you and he had very different goals in dating, so it’s probably for the best this didn’t work out. You’re young. You have plenty of time for dating ahead of you. I wouldn’t put a lot of weight on this.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • random
  • slotface
  • kavyap
  • thenastyranch
  • everett
  • tacticalgear
  • rosin
  • Durango
  • DreamBathrooms
  • mdbf
  • magazineikmin
  • InstantRegret
  • Youngstown
  • khanakhh
  • ethstaker
  • JUstTest
  • ngwrru68w68
  • cisconetworking
  • modclub
  • tester
  • osvaldo12
  • cubers
  • GTA5RPClips
  • normalnudes
  • Leos
  • provamag3
  • anitta
  • megavids
  • lostlight
  • All magazines