Claire

@Claire@disabled.social

disabled
mad
queer
autistic
abolitionist
buddhist
masking
she/they

Header: The text "Nothing About Us Without Us" is in black and white. A red line crosses out "About Us" so "Nothing Without Us" remains

Profile Pic: Black fist with white wheelchair cutout and the words Support Disability Rights

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Private
Claire,

@VaylLarkinPoet @actuallyautistic Do you have any resources to recommend for unpacking plurality. Do you remember when you are in different masks? Thank you!

Private
Claire,

@johnettesnuggs @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic I also eat loads of bread, potato, pasta & really do love fruits and veggies but in specific ways — soup w/ cooked veggies and soft ripe raw fruit (strawberries, peaches, grapes -- I like the pop). Sometimes raw veggies for the crunch (sensory-seeker)

But, I am just giving myself permission (in my 40s) to eat what I want and I'm seeing, for me at least, it's still healthy. Just not healthy foods I don't like. I'd be curious if you find that too.

Claire,

@johnettesnuggs @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic I wish I had said it seems healthy to me. Because as you said, your body is seeming to want more only potatoes and things, and that might be what's healthier for you, as you are exploring. I hope my response didn't read to be reinforcing the idea that there's one way to eat healthy.

Private
Claire,

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic My family does. Well my little family or three (my son and child). My child is non-dxed because I want that to be his choice when he gets older, but I'm fairly certain he's Autistic as well. But yes, my family adapts to my autism all the time. 💚

Claire,

@ratcatcher @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic This is the same for me and my spouse. He actually came to a few late-dx women speeches and he was like "um, have you considered you might be Autistic?" and then I started looking into it.

I would say that once we started getting my Autistic needs met, I became much more adaptable to be able to center his needs as well. Like we just openly discuss our needs and if they seem incompatible, we figure out how to make them compatible. :)

Private
Claire,

@neuralex So people in this space are often newly diagnosed or newly unmasking. The advice you're giving centers the NT rules and world, which is something a large amount of Autists have been doing their entire lives. Some have a goal of fitting in but many are uncovering themselves.

I would offer other advice: Do what ever feels good to you and see how it works, how you feel, if you like how it went after.

@Uniflame @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

Private
Claire,

@actuallyautistic and then I feel almost like a desperate need to explain myself. I don't know if it's deep rooted from not being understood for so much of my life. Or if its just more simple and logical -- they are missing something and I want them to have all the facts. Or is it a bit of both?

Claire,

@eo I don't think I understand. They were not giving me much tit for my tat but I just kept going. And then when I didn't feel they understood me, I kept going more. Lol. (was not reading the room). Maybe I'm not understanding your comment though?

@actuallyautistic

Claire,

@Hawkwinter okay yeah that makes sense. I think with this particular person I don't typically feel that, but yeah usually I do. And the situation really dictates my preference. (doctors office vs. grocery store). I like the way you worded that (the tension between representation and interpretation)-- it makes sense to me.

@actuallyautistic

Claire,

@Hawkwinter @actuallyautistic For me, because I have some health stuff, having the information I'm sharing be correctly interpreted is super important. So I focus on that. And I say things like "I am an information sharer, please share as much as you can to help me understand and I will do the same."

lzg, to random
@lzg@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    Claire,

    @lzg Right! it costs nothing to BE kind, so maybe these people should kindly try to understand that their way of being isn't the only kind way of being.

    Private
    Claire,

    @zaxxon Let me know if you try it and if so what you think! :)

    @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @Autistrain Yes! The look the same, but the internal feeling is different. That's a great distinction. Thank you!

    @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @Ferles Fascinating!!!!!!

    @Autistrain @actuallyautistic

    timnitGebru, to random
    @timnitGebru@dair-community.social avatar

    Meetings should be 30 minutes by default unless there are circumstances that warrant more time. A lot can be done in 30 minutes. That's one thing I agree with Google people on, but then again, people added so many random meetings on calendars without even asking first.

    Claire,

    @timnitGebru I had meeting today that was 7 hours long. We got breaks, but ... I had zero attention (fucks) to give after lunch.

    Claire, to Anime

    I would love some help from people who know and . My child is joining an online club (we can't do in-person anything because one of our family has compromised immunity). We know nothing about anime and manga. Are there any good shows on Paramount+, Netflix, or AppleTV? Also what is some good manga?

    My child is 12 years old. Thank you in advance!!!!!

    Private
    Claire,

    @Autistrain

    100% and the reason all of the people I am close with are okay waiting however long to hear from me. And vice versa. I am grateful to have relationships like these where I can just move as myself.

    @actuallyautistic

    Private
    Claire,

    @UnknownOutrider Definitely.
    For me I also info dump for a variety of reasons. It's connecting and I basically store information in files in my mind. If I'm talking about something in the file, I tend to share all of it (reasonably). Also, sometimes I want to share information because it feels relevant to me (doctor). I also like to know, so my spouse travels for work. I enjoy knowing what he ate for meals and telling him my day.

    @PatternChaser @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @PatternChaser Yes because I was then internalizing a message about my wrongness. If I can't exist with authenticity, then what is wrong with me. Sometimes it's not safe for me to be authentic and I have been able to see that the problem is not with me it is with the world that makes it unsafe for me to exist as I am.

    @UnknownOutrider @strypey @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @UnknownOutrider

    I really resonate with this. Typically I mask as a choice now. When it pops up as an automatic response, I really try to figure out why (won't surprise you to learn I like to find patterns, lol.)

    @Elizabeth3 @strypey @PatternChaser @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @strypey

    I love this distinction. I do this with people. At the doctor's office I might say, "I'm an information sharer so if you need me to stop, please be direct. It's no problem."

    At home, I say "I'm sharing info" or "I'm upset and I need empathy." Then my husband doesn't have to guess. And he knows with the latter, if he has the spoons, I kinda need to feel heard.

    @UnknownOutrider @PatternChaser @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire, (edited )

    @strypey

    Love Marshall Rosenberg. I have a feelings and needs list on our fridge to help me be in touch with what's coming up and what I'm needing.

    One thing we have in our home is headphone time. So if we aren't available for connection, we put headphones in. It helps me ("rules" help me) know when my husband is available. And with this basically he has "permission" to not be available, which helps him.

    @dbc3 @UnknownOutrider @PatternChaser @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @strypey lol re the cat!!

    we **try to do that too. for me at least, the habit of asking permission before I go into something is great. I do it with my child too. But the habit has also helped me learn that a lot of times, I can just tell it's not a good time. and I just text him. I used to make a list but my husband prefers I text him and will look when he is available.

    @dbc3 @UnknownOutrider @PatternChaser @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @PatrickWirth

    Yes!! In written communication I am clear and usually understood. In person, I am trying to process so much that I am jumbled, even in my thinking often.

    Yes! One of my closest friends (not Autistic but ND) and I just bam bam bam bam!

    @UnknownOutrider @PatternChaser @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

    Claire,

    @PatternChaser Yes! And only answer the questions they want to answer. I'm just going to email you again asking again. Lol.

    @doggle @PatrickWirth @UnknownOutrider @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

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