@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

ephemeromorph

@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

I am some sentient meat called Voybridge. Autistic and autigender. I love Judas Priest, spreadsheets and farting. Fursonas (scalesonas): monitor lizard, crocodile. I am mainly here to shitpost and to boost lovely art.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Random thought: if we lived in a society with multiple peopleoid species besides humans, interspecies fucking would probably be seen as good safe sex practice, because nobody could get pregnant from it.

Disadvantage: human has sex with human man for first time after practicing on cat men, is disappointed to find that human penis is not spiky.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@alda I thought they did produce viable offspring, though? And that modern humans all have a bit of neanderthal in us.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I had an Ebuyer order estimated to be delivered on the 9th. It's the 21st. The tracking information doesn't return anything. The order is still in my basket on the Ebuyer website, although I was charged for it when I placed the order. I think some fucko has belmed my order out of existence.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Apparently my order is available to pick up from the post office after 2 failed delivery attempts. No cunt told me! Nothing in the tracking info, no card through the letterbox. DPD can suck my fuck!

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Apparently my order was shipped with Parcel Force, which explains why the DPD tracking link didn't work. What stir-fried clown fuck.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I'm CROSS! Ebuyer said the order had been returned to the sorting office after 2 failed delivery attempts. I had no text, no calling card, no nothing!

Went to the sorting office just now, no parcel. Grump! I want my new toy!!

I emailed Ebuyer again and said can I have the actual tracking number so I can find where the hell it's gone.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Got the tracking number. Apparently the parcel IS in the sorting office. Whatta hell? I think some Parcel Force cunter has nicked my hard drives.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

With the enshittification of search engines, please extend more grace to people asking for information. "Just fucking Google it" - yeah, we tried that already, fucko, and it told us to drink piss.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Not watching Eurovision this year. The EBU claims to be non-political but they've banned Palestinian flags from the contest. By allowing Israel (and Azerbaijan) to compete but maintaining Russia's ban, they're making a statement that some genocide is acceptable. Fuck 'em and fuck Israel.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Does anyone have a NAS enclosure/drives to recommend or warn against? I assume they're all much of a muchness but I thought I'd ask in case someone said 'Never get a Pigfuck brand, it shagged my cat and salted my crops'.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I have next week off work. My manager only just noticed today and got in a flap, even though she signed off on it ages ago, I'd put my stickers on the giant wall calendar, I'd sent an Outlook invite to everyone in the team, and I'd emailed a list of my tasks for my team to do.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I think I'd be a partly good manager because I'm organised as fuck, but mostly I'd be a bad manager because I like being told what to do instead of telling others what to do. If I was a manager and someone asked 'What should I do about X?', I'd say 'I dunno, you can do whatever the fuck you want forever'.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@Timberwolf Interesting! I'm very organised but I find it hard to explain how/why. When people ask me about it, I'm at a loss because for me the answer is 'I just do it.'

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Holy shit. https://blogs.nasa.gov/voyager/2024/04/22/nasas-voyager-1-resumes-sending-engineering-updates-to-earth/

Paging Dr @guffo

MLE_online, to random
@MLE_online@social.afront.org avatar

What the hell lol

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@MLE_online I want this.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Message from my mum at the zoo: "Gorillas snacking on cabbage. Smol gorilla holds his ankles and somersaults down a slope, farting like a noisome hairy catherine wheel."

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Fucking hell! You can't call your ship Suborbital Battle Vagina in No Man's Sky. Vagina is a clinical term! It's not a bad word!

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Quiplash needs to replace the thriplash round with something else, because it's a bag of wank and an unfun way to round off what was otherwise a fun game session.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@Timberwolf Also a lot of the prompts for that round are dogshit.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

https://www.scribd.com/document/721193667/Elon-Musk-Deposed-In-Lawsuit-For-Falsely-Linking-Jewish-Man-To-Neo-Nazi-Brawl

"Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the deposition from the public, admits he did no research into his false claim, among other revelations."

Holy shit. There are gold nuggets in here. Elongated Muskrat doesn't realise the lawyer isn't the one suing him.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Bankston: Mr Musk, do you think you did anything wrong to Ben Brody? [...]
Musk: I don't know Ben Brody.
Bankston: You're aware Ben Brody is somebody who's sued you, right?
Musk: I - I think you're the one suing.
Bankston: Actually, Mr Musk, I'm an attorney. Did you know that? I'm an attorney representing Mr Brody.

HELP

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

A valid English sentence with the word 'and' five times in a row:

Said the fish and chip shop owner to the sign maker: "The spaces between Fish and And and And and Chips aren't equal; please fix it."

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Respect your elders? No, I said respec your elders. Granny's a paladin now.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@guffo This you? :D https://metro.co.uk/2022/07/23/dad-who-hasnt-stopped-farting-since-he-ate-ham-roll-in-2017-sues-for-200000-17054567/

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

What I don't understand about Hazbin Hotel is why the TV demon is a TV but the radio demon is a deer-fox or something. Why isn't he a radio?

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • tacticalgear
  • DreamBathrooms
  • InstantRegret
  • magazineikmin
  • Youngstown
  • everett
  • anitta
  • slotface
  • GTA5RPClips
  • rosin
  • thenastyranch
  • kavyap
  • mdbf
  • Leos
  • modclub
  • osvaldo12
  • Durango
  • khanakhh
  • provamag3
  • cisconetworking
  • ngwrru68w68
  • cubers
  • tester
  • ethstaker
  • megavids
  • normalnudes
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •