erosdiscordia

@erosdiscordia@inkdrop.space

Writing two web serials: GOLDFIRE, a queer oceanpunk fantasy, and RADIANT INVERSE, a psychological space opera adventure.

serial fiction 💫 indieweb 💫 alt publishing 💫 anime 💫 portugal (fall '23) 💫 OTP: WangXian

Please have a bio and some posts before follow-requesting. No bigots, no bots, no crypto. This account is all-ages, but my fiction is 18+.

alt -- https://corteximplant.com/@erosdiscordia

On Mastodon since Sept. 2018
Toots lifespan: 2 months

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

erosdiscordia, to random

If it seems like I've been quiet on here lately, it's because I haven't had a ton of energy. Positive things have been happening, but I've been mentally tired a lot.

Miss you all. :)

voltur, to random German

The new job is mind boggling fun.

erosdiscordia,

@voltur 😁 :rainbowdance:

Melezioh, to random
@Melezioh@mstdn.games avatar

Stockpiling hormones is a great idea except testosterone is a controlled substance. Legally getting more than needed each month? Yea…

erosdiscordia,

@Melezioh Yeah, I always sad-laugh when I see that advice.

I once asked a doctor for a replacement weekly dose -- one dose extra -- because I'd slipped and squirted the T all over the floor.

He not only refused, he got angry.

erosdiscordia,

@infernusgoatus @Melezioh Oof, that is one way to do it, but it has a high cost for a lot of guys.

I wouldn't recommend even trying to skip a dose unless you'd been on testosterone for 2-3 years. The hormoneless trough is like terrible PMS.

erosdiscordia,

@Melezioh @JessTheUnstill @infernusgoatus Yeah. They had me on a half dose for about a year and a half, and refused to raise it.

Even though it's usually ready to be raised at what, 3 months?

And, the reason I had to do Synthroid in 2018 was that the doctor who signed off on my testosterone in the first place, refused to let me continue with Armour because he "didn't know what it was". And the thyroid doctor refused to continue with me because of the transition thing.

It was hard to fight.

erosdiscordia,

@Melezioh @JessTheUnstill @infernusgoatus Especially while being thyroid-sick during most of the first year of my transition.

Here's the hard truth -- a trans guy, pre-T, is going to strongly resemble a "woman". The doctor is sitting there looking at someone they unconsciously perceive as a woman.

And women notoriously don't get listened to at the doctor, even by LGBT or LGBT-aware ally doctors.

Advice for trans guys and AFAB enbies needs to take this into account...

erosdiscordia,

@Melezioh @JessTheUnstill @infernusgoatus ...that there's kinda this extra layer of misogyny, on top of whatever transphobic lack of access we face. Especially early in transition, when stockpiling would be smart, because missing a dose of T feels so bad.

We're not reasonably trusted with our own care until we look more masculine. That's been what I've observed.

We get it carefully doled out, until then. Plus the whole Schedule III thing.

erosdiscordia,

@Melezioh @JessTheUnstill @infernusgoatus I know they have legal and medical reasons to be careful with T. But there's a lot of factors that add up to not being able to just stockpile testosterone HRT, and misogyny is absolutely one of them IMHO.

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus Definitely -- I think trans people of different initial presentations all are statistically likely to be not believed. Which is pretty damning, considering how long medical practitioners have had to get used to the idea of our existence.

I just find something so painfully ironic about experiencing misogyny as a man. 🙃

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus I've often suspected there is a trans-male / AFAB-enby experience that is analogous to transmisogyny is to trans women.

Different of course, due to coming from other directions, but still involving a shitty overlap of transphobia and misogyny, creating a gestalt together.

But the bottom line is, fuck both transphobia and misogyny, wherever and whenever they occur.

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus I don't talk about it much anymore, because it's triggering to pretty much everyone including myself, and has sadly been mistaken for competition or invalidation of transmisogyny, which is never my intent.

And the similarities between all genders' trans experiences matter more.

I just think some trans guys -- it's sometimes weird and difficult to identify when misogyny is what we're up against. It makes so little internal sense!

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus Like, I can look back at experiences I had during the first 2-3 years of my transition, and now I can see -- "of course, that was STILL misogyny". Even in the trans healthcare scene.

I didn't fully realize it at the time, because I'd swung so deeply over to embracing my true self, I had no more self-concept as a woman. But I still looked like one for awhile.

It was a weird time! :D

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus

Thanks, this is really well-put. It is oddly hard to describe. Like, when I thought I was a woman and had a (faulty) self-concept as a woman, I certainly understood what misogyny was and what it looked like.

When I started transition, though, my self-concept changed so fast, that it's like I forgot the "language" of misogyny -- right as experiencing it became an even bigger dysphoria trigger than it had been before...

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus ...Which led to a lot of floundering for words to explain it how it overlaps with transphobia, and also with the trauma of decades of misogynistic abuse, but also with testosterone confidence-boosts, and with beginning to receive male "benefits".

I think just letting trans guys know there is definitely Something shitty afoot, that they're not imagining the struggle, is the best I can do.

Solidarity.

erosdiscordia,

@JessTheUnstill @Melezioh @infernusgoatus I think, if I could get across one thing to the average cis person, it's that transitioning to male and starting to see the "benefits" of it (which I put in quotes because fuck the patriarchy) -- it doesn't feel great, necessarily! In fact, if one has a lot of misogynistic trauma, it can be re-traumatizing! Yet everyone seems to think trans guys are out there loving all of it, lol. It can feel so uncomfy.

rgegriff, to random

I have an urge to make a fedi fax gateway and... I just can't with this brain right now

erosdiscordia,

@capnseasick @rgegriff Fax machines are juuuuust retro enough to be cool.

erosdiscordia,

@voltur @capnseasick @rgegriff Fax machine web zine ring!

aimeecozza, to art

Painting #3, 6x6

erosdiscordia,

@aimeecozza Daaaang.

aimeecozza, to art

Did I post this one yet? I got a pack of 4 6"x6" canvases and this is the first painting I finished on one.

erosdiscordia,

@aimeecozza Whoa, this is awesome.

voltur, to random

I accepted a new gig as Security Enginner - Unity (client) with VRChat, and I am so excited to start in about a week. Y'all have no idea.

It ticks a lot of boxes for me, personally. It leans into my Unity gamedev experience, my MMORPG appsec experience, a healthy dose of malware r/e, and social VR. In most roles, I only get to flex a few of those at a time.

erosdiscordia,

@voltur YAY!!!!!

Congratulations, pal! Thisis great news. 🎉🎂

erosdiscordia,

@voltur I love it.

drwho, to random
erosdiscordia,

@drwho What is this?

voltur, to random

Thinking about the time Dave Mustaine played a firebug villain in that late-night Roger Corman spin-off show Black Scorpion, named "Torchy"

erosdiscordia,

@voltur ...I can kinda see that.

erosdiscordia,

@voltur The credit says 2001, but he totally teleported in from 1990. Look at him.

This is the timeline getting weird on us again.

erosdiscordia, to random

Maryland set to protect trans care.

"'In our state, no one should ever have to justify their humanity,' Moore said at a signing ceremony, the Associated Press reports. “In our state, no one should have to justify their own humanness, and that’s what the Trans Health Equity Act is all about, and it’s the legislation that we need.”

https://www.advocate.com/law/gender-affirming-care-maryland

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