I have been pretty darn blessed by the estrogen goddesses during my transition and there are so many wonderful things that have helped me feel more and more at home in my body and being-in-the-world through this body....but...
One area of dysphoria that I just kind of have to accept as background noise that will never change is about how big my body is. Both my height and how wide my underlying body structure is are things that my brain never feels fully at home in or connected to. It's not even the ratio of proportions, and I actually kinda like my fat for the softness and curves it gives me. But my brain struggles to track how actually big my body is to this day, when I see a picture of me with anyone else is shorter or smaller, I feel icky and uncomfortable because I'm so dang huge.
And I don't forsee any way this can change in my lifetime and I don't even think there's any way for me to indirectly access the euphoria or yearning I have.
@JoscelynTransient I know it’s not exactly the same but I feel that way about not being able to be a young girl. Mentally, I don’t feel like this old person that I am. I feel like I stopped mentally aging around my early teens and that’s part of the dysphoria I have looking in the mirror. Every year I get older and older and further away from my mental age and there’s nothing I can do about it. That’s just life and it sucks.
Just saw an ad for the "retro" theme of the San Diego Fair...and they have people wearing that stereotypical 90s "cool" pattern on shirts while standing next to people in 50s style skirts and tops.... 💀
Never been into slasher films, but I can appreciate Halloween and stuff like that. But seeing these previews for movies with "The most disturbing killing you've ever seen!!!" in 2024 is a big no, and makes me think something is wrong with one of us.
@billyjoebowers The slasher genre is not my favorite in horror. It's gotten even worse after the Saw movies came out as a lot of the new films are just gore porn. I need you to either a. Have an actual interesting story attached to your movie or b. At very minimum have some sort of meta humor. But if the film is nothing but a bunch of gross out scenes? Nah, I'm opting out. Thanks.
When i was a guy, i was often assumed to be like 5 years older than I was, and often treated as more mature and knowledgable than I actually was. I was seen as an absent-minded professor type, and given grace in my mistakes and treated as very credible (the persuasiveness of confident white man voice is dangerous).
As a woman, i am often assumed to be roughly 10 years younger than i am (estrogenated vampire skin!), and people assume I am inexperienced or don't know how to do a lot of things. Meanwhile, now, I have over a decade and a half of nonprofit management and community engagement experience, I am a published trans studies scholar who teaches queer and trans studies, I run a program serving hundreds of trans youth across the country, and more. I've lived in 5 radically different countries and speak 3 languages. And like...I'm now often talked down too and seen as inexperienced and discounted as probably not knowing much.
@JoscelynTransient I must have always had a very feminine aura then because life has always been the second one for me. No matter how qualified on a matter I may be, I have always been talked down to and seen as inexperiences and discounted. But I guess I have the added downfall of not having been white.
From r/paranormal. I hate the Rae Dunn design trend of labeling stuff in black and white...it looks worse than leaving it blank if you don't want to use it or put art there IMO
In case you're curious what i get up to when not on the fedi, it might look like me spending the morning threatening to start a meat-based sex cult if @salad_bar_breath ever gets betrayed and murdered by fascists.
...so um, what did you do with your saturday morning? 😅
@JoscelynTransient That would at least make some sort of sense! This was more about people forcing tradwife roles on female deities that don't have any of that symbolism because they want to "tame" them.
The iconic ending scene from the first Planet of the Apes (1968) movie of the main character realizing he's been on earth all along was actually made up by the film!
The horrendous 2001 adaptation that ends with Mark Wahlberg landing his space ship in ape Washington D.C. and seeing ape Abraham Lincoln was closer to the original ending to the 1963 book.
I just found out and needed to share this cursed knowledge with you.
The people who try to turn Ishtar into a tradwife goddess and say shit like "the mythology on her is skewed and wrong", what's the fucking point?
What's the point of worshiping this deity if all you're gonna do is literally throw out everything that makes her unique, throw out the rich cultural traditions around her, and turn her into a generic old age mother goddess??
We already have that anyway. Ninhursag, Ninlil, Ningal, etc.
The whole point of Ishtar is that she breaks the expectations of women in her society. She's a sexually liberated, capricious young lady who fights in battle and doesn't submit to any man
@darlingofinana I honestly find the "tradwife" ideology kind of backwards. It makes sense for abrahamic traditions, I guess, but why are pagans trying to incorporate it into their practice?
It's been over a year since my original introduction, so I'm going to write up a new one. An update introduction if you will.
Just some facts.
I'm a 45 year old witch, born and raised pagan, I'm polyamorous, living with my two trans partners. My favorite pronoun is dude. I'm biromantic, and demisexual. I run a small farm, with lots of animals, and I'm absolutely obsessed with my rabbit. He is my soulmate, and I would defend him with my life. I'm a pescatarian. Meaning I only eat sea food and eggs for my "meat" intake. I am a disabled content creator, making no money. A stay at home house wife.
When I say I'm a witch born and raised, I mean it. My mom is in her mid 60's and started her pagan path well before I was born. I was raised with pagan holidays, and regular lessons in witchcraft.
I am pro LGBTQP, pro BLM, and Pro feminist. I am ACAB, ALAB, and anit-capitalism.
I'm pro science. I took 4 classes in astrobiology and passed all of them with a B grade or higher. I know why Pluto isn't a planet, and it's ok.
I'm a psy-fi nerd, gamer geek, DM, and Minecraft addict. I'm fitness certified, and nutrition certified, but can't do jack squat with either of them. But I can help people when asked. No big.
My partners and I are childfree on purpose. I don't believe our society is worthy of my children. Also children creep me out, are unpredictable, uncontrollable and loud. I have sensory issues, and need a quite space. It's why I live out in the boonies.
I think that's an appropriate update. I'll see about doing another one next year.
What people don't understand about a white trash bitch is that we take care of our own - we can be incredibly tender and compassionate to our community because we know no one else will take care of them or see the good in them that we do. But we will also throw down in a fucking instant for our people because that's how we survive.
This is my ethos and written into my very nervous system by survival and trauma.
One thing that drives me nuts as a polyam person is that a lot of people feel compelled to identify as monogamous and won't date polyamorous people....even when they are single and going on dates with multiple people and having casual relationships with other "monogamous" people.
Like, i am overjoyed for everyone that finds monogamy works for them as a relationship structure and identity, but it is weird that people feel pressured to maintain the label and pretense when that's not what they are actually doing, isn't it? I known i'm not even close to the firsr person that has said it, but it just reads so much as "I'm not gay, i'm just a guy who fucks guys."
@JoscelynTransient I think it's because they're trying to ensure that the end result will be one partner. Sure, they're dating all around the place now, but that's not the end goal. So telling someone you're polyam while you actually just want to get married and do the stereotypical thing would be wrong. Telling someone you're only polyam for the moments is leading a potential partner on if they are going to expect you to keep being open in the future. It's like the "I was gay in college" trope. It's not honest about your intentions.