My last scuba dive was about 6 years ago, cut short when my newly-serviced regulator exploded out of my mouth. I grabbed for my backup but missed (for the best as it turned out the service shop had screwed that one up too), and my buddy was too far away to go for hers, so I wound up doing my first ever slightly panicky emergency ascent from (thankfully only) 10m without any ill effects apart from being severely shaken up by the experience. I always meant to get back in the water but anxiety and procrastination and life happened and I just never got around to it.
Four years ago I had the bright idea to try freediving - if I could go to depth without equipment then maybe I'd be ok trusting the equipment again, makes sense yeah? Signed up with a local PADI shop in Sydney, bought the gear, and it was going great until we actually had to dive, and then it turned into an absolute shitshow. Final requirement was getting down to 10m and I was the ONLY student to fail the course, maxing out early around 8m and only getting worse on every attempt while verging on panic attack every time. I'd managed a healthy 3m30s static hold in the pool the day before, but my brain just wasn't having it.
Finally, after a few casual snorkelling outings earlier this year where I managed to get down around 6m-ish without any issues, I felt ready for another attempt. Booked in with Apneista in Bali for their Molchanovs Wave 1 course last week and absolutely smashed it :) My deepest dive on the course was only 13m but it was almost effortless. I was just hanging out, upside down, in the ocean, deep enough that I literally couldn't see the surface, and for a few moments there I couldn't for the life of me figure out how this was ever something I'd struggled with.
A whole world that I thought I'd lost forever has come back to me, and I am SO FRIGGING EXCITED. I can't wait to explore it :D
Hey, from an absolute weenie who still hyperventilates in a pool because they got dragged out by the rip tide over 20 years ago, I can't even imagine getting past something like that. I can imagine the hell that final class was.
I may not know you, but I'm super proud to hear it
@Nepenthe Thank you so much! The ocean is a bit scary and definitely warrants respect and caution. If there's one thing I've learned about working through anxiety/panic with stuff like this, it's that you're better off pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone gently, from the inside :)