@JohnBloor Re: kindness, it’s the number one thing guaranteed to make me cry. I think #autistics are so used to casual cruelty, and when someone is genuinely kind it's unexpected and beautiful.
Re: suggestions, I would say take baby steps. Start with a place where you feel safe to be kind. Practice there for a bit.
If you can feel yourself approaching nasty, maybe you could practice a different response beforehand to use next time. Like, “I need some air, excuse me" seems irreproachable.