Anyone else feel oppressed by the Q-slur and feel that its widespread use harms LGBT rights more than it helps? It feels like every LGBT-adjacent “safe space” isn’t safe for those affected by the Q-slur, especially on Pride Month.
I consider myself invisibly non binary. To most people I’m a Cis het guy, but my partner is pansexual, and I feel I relate much more with women on most things than with men, but I don’t wear makeup and my clothes are mostly male or gender neutral, so unless I specifically vocalise my gender identity to people, it basically doesn’t exist in them. To me, the q feels very inclusive. Because I don’t consider myself trans and don’t ever intend to transition, but I feel like cis doesn’t describe me at all either, and I’m not attracted to men. So q is the only place I fit, and I like fitting in to the community. Sexuality and gender is a spectrum and LGBT simply doesn’t cover all the possibilities, so whatever you want to call it, having that catch all in there feels like a good thing to me, and for all the other people who don’t fit nicely into simple boxes, which is kinda the point isn’t it?
Cis het white guy coming in with an anecdote, watch out… But my ex, she described her sexuality to me and I thought she fit more into pansexual, but she ABSOLUTELY identified as “Q”. I just respected her wishes and went with it. Me PERSONALLY, I just try to respect individuals whatever they would like to be called or label they identify with.
Man I cannot believe people are downvoting this post. Have an upvote from an ally to compensate; not sure how that translates over at kbin, but hopefully it’ something.
I never thought I fit in with LGBT because I'm pansexual but never felt "gay." Come from a generation of playing "smear the q-s." And teachers telling us that "there are two kinds of men, steers and q-s."
Due to this, I definitely see the your point. I was called this a lot as a kid, and it definitely hurt, but it was before I was out even to myself, and haven't been called that as an adult, so I don't have that perspective.
However, it wasn't until it started to be reclaimed that I came to terms with who I am and the people I am attracted to. Q just feels right for where I am on sexuality and gender if that makes sense. It is the only slot I feel like I belong.
I had a similar experience with it growing up and it also feels like the most complete label for me. There are other labels that work for me factually, but it’s what seems to most fully encompass me.
If OP doesn’t like to be called Q, they should verbalize that to their friend group and the people they interact with. They should also make it known that it is just their preference, and they do not speak for anyone else. But to say that I shouldn’t identify as Q because they are offended with the label… OP needs to get over themselves, go touch some grass, and stop trying to police the identities of others in an attempt to push marginalized people out of the larger community of marginalized.
I don’t think it harms our rights at all. I understand how many people who grew up in an era where it was more inflammatory might feel hurt by it’s widespread adoption, but as far as rights go it’s not what costs us rights. I’ll also say I think that having an umbrella term for all of us that’s easily said might actually increase our ability to push for our rights.
outsider straight perspective here, but I think reclaiming the word is smart. It disarms the bigots. Words only have the power they’re given. Don’t give them that.
I heard the same logic from a poetry slammer once, who argued Germans should just go around and greet everyone with “Heil Hitler” and take the phrase away from Neonazis (and therefore taking away its power).
I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it, but if it angers a Nazi, I could be up for it.
I don’t, and I personally like Q as description. But I do think it’s one of the risk of trying to “reclaim” a slur. It’s empowering for some but hurtful to others. I’m sorry it’s upsetting to you, and hope you find some space where you feel comfortable.
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