It's nearly time for #TheArchers Omnibus, and I'm practically smouldering with optimism.
That's because I've spent all morning waiting for the rain to stop so I can put the rubbish out, which is just the sort of mental preparation a regular listener needs.
@thearchers If I caught that properly, Denise has just told Alistair that she's spoken to Miriam about Rufus, and Alistair's replied with suggestion that they should try to be normal.
"Thrilling", as Alistair has helpfully pointed out, is not the right word.
And now we're at the cricket, where the cruelly "lovely afternoon" is too nice for anything but a sausage roll.
The sparrows in the background have, at least so far, had all the best lines.
@thearchers Now Alistair's had the big hello from the sudden Laura, as if the scripties were short of spanner to chuck in Alistair's romantic gears
For background, in agriculture, forestry and fishing, the HSE's five-year average (2018-23) is: falls 4, machinery 4, animals 6, vehicles 9.
And now Henry wants to do cricket, because he's not sure why he hates it. Which tells us, if nothing else, that he's well prepared for the World of Work.
@thearchers Crows now, and something making a peeping sort of noise. A jay, perhaps? Or a blackbird? It's hard to tell with all this blasted cricket in the way.
"...it's the having a good time that counts" says Helen, as if to rub salt in this listener's wounds.
Alistair's downplaying the big hello, while Ed's increasing his chances of ending up in the next HSE report under the mysterious category of "other".
@thearchers "Cricket's a lot harder than it looks" says Henry, underselling it bravely.
In the meantime Alice has visited Eve by mistake, Creepy Harry is at the dry-cleaners, and Winifred, an undisclosed tea-room patron, has made, for some reason, a cake.
If I didn't know better, I'd think the scripties had suffered a paper jam. But perhaps my mind's been elsewhere.
@thearchers I'm not sure what these distant twitterings are, but they sound more warbly than usual. Blackcap, perhaps?
And now the tea-room, and the sounds of familiar cows and a blackbird - the evolution of its soundscape from Vera Lynn to nothing has certainly been worth the wait.
@thearchers "That racket" is apparently the sound of an electric-powered bolt-driver, assuming such a thing exists, under the direction of Alice who, now powered by electric soup, has got everything in hand in the space of a morning, and passed some sort of inspection.
Meanwhile, Dr Azra has visited Joy by mistake, who's obligingly plugged what minority sports the BBC can still afford to show on the telly.
Julie and Bernadette? They're just making them up now.
@thearchers It seems that it's the script that's the problem, but we'll let that lie. Do we know what Laura does, yet? Feed merchant seems unlikely, HSE inspector too convenient, and if she was big in turnips I'm sure we would have heard.
Good lord. It's dancercise. But at least it's an opportunity to read up on rogue milk purchasing businesses. You won't hear about them on the wireless.
And it's all over now. It seems to have stooped raining, too. Or maybe it's just my mood that's lifted.
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