wibble

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers If I caught that properly, Denise has just told Alistair that she's spoken to Miriam about Rufus, and Alistair's replied with suggestion that they should try to be normal.

"Thrilling", as Alistair has helpfully pointed out, is not the right word.

And now we're at the cricket, where the cruelly "lovely afternoon" is too nice for anything but a sausage roll.

The sparrows in the background have, at least so far, had all the best lines.

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers Now Alistair's had the big hello from the sudden Laura, as if the scripties were short of spanner to chuck in Alistair's romantic gears

For background, in agriculture, forestry and fishing, the HSE's five-year average (2018-23) is: falls 4, machinery 4, animals 6, vehicles 9.

And now Henry wants to do cricket, because he's not sure why he hates it. Which tells us, if nothing else, that he's well prepared for the World of Work.

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers "We're being human, that doesn't make us bad people" says Harry, as if he's never met a human, leaving Alice in tears.

The Wagon will doubtless be departing shortly.

We're back at a cricket pitch. And to think that there are people who find Wagner dull.

Ooh. Sheep! One's got a fractured radius, so presumably won't trample Ed, but there are a good few others by the sound of it.

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers Crows now, and something making a peeping sort of noise. A jay, perhaps? Or a blackbird? It's hard to tell with all this blasted cricket in the way.

"...it's the having a good time that counts" says Helen, as if to rub salt in this listener's wounds.

Alistair's downplaying the big hello, while Ed's increasing his chances of ending up in the next HSE report under the mysterious category of "other".

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers "Cricket's a lot harder than it looks" says Henry, underselling it bravely.

In the meantime Alice has visited Eve by mistake, Creepy Harry is at the dry-cleaners, and Winifred, an undisclosed tea-room patron, has made, for some reason, a cake.

If I didn't know better, I'd think the scripties had suffered a paper jam. But perhaps my mind's been elsewhere.

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers I'm not sure what these distant twitterings are, but they sound more warbly than usual. Blackcap, perhaps?

And now the tea-room, and the sounds of familiar cows and a blackbird - the evolution of its soundscape from Vera Lynn to nothing has certainly been worth the wait.

Meanwhile, the Wagon has left the village.

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers "That racket" is apparently the sound of an electric-powered bolt-driver, assuming such a thing exists, under the direction of Alice who, now powered by electric soup, has got everything in hand in the space of a morning, and passed some sort of inspection.

Meanwhile, Dr Azra has visited Joy by mistake, who's obligingly plugged what minority sports the BBC can still afford to show on the telly.

Julie and Bernadette? They're just making them up now.

wibble, 14 days ago

@thearchers It seems that it's the script that's the problem, but we'll let that lie. Do we know what Laura does, yet? Feed merchant seems unlikely, HSE inspector too convenient, and if she was big in turnips I'm sure we would have heard.

Good lord. It's dancercise. But at least it's an opportunity to read up on rogue milk purchasing businesses. You won't hear about them on the wireless.

And it's all over now. It seems to have stooped raining, too. Or maybe it's just my mood that's lifted.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Hannah, or Anna in the vernacular, has failed to drop a catch, and saved a somewhat predictable storyline that, in the fullness of time, will end up with George on some sort of register.

And Kate and Lilian are conspiring, like the elders of a peculiar sect, to carry out an Act of Kindness for Alice's own good, and so further yet another misunderstanding-driven plot.

So far, there have been no sheep nor even a mention of piggies. Is disappointment its own reward?

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Cricket aside (which is where it should be), I'm wondering if it's at all normal for folk to take delegations to medical appointments. It's not something I've ever considered, but perhaps I've got an abnormally reluctant audience.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Enough birdsong at Grey Gables to make me wonder if they've finished building it yet.

And now, after a discursion back to Alice's lengthy and wide-ranging trip to the quack's, we've got Lily back on the up-sell, the cross-sell and the hustle.

Once a kitchen-flogger, always a kitchen-flogger.

The same, of course, could be said of sheep. But there aren't any.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Good grief, Alice's being chased by the doctor. Who seems to think it a good idea to live within a stone's-throw of her patients, while expounding to Alice the importance of keeping a distance. The scripties, who must surely have whispered in her ear, seem a bit confused on that point.

Now the pig-man is talking about a talking horse to the sound of the lowing cattle that live outside the tea-room.

I guess it's something.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Alice has not taken Asra's advice, and Chelsea's trying to corner all the minimum-wage jobs in the village.

Assuming there aren't too many of those, at least not since the shop started exploiting volunteer labour, I'm wondering how the Button sisters earn a living. Perhaps I'd better not do that.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Creepy Harry's back, as Creepy as ever. Does anyone remember what happened to the ice-cream van?

And now we're at Grey Gables, where we're clearly being readied for a bit of bedroom farce. Even sheep won't be able to save this.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers So we're still at Grey Gables, this time with muzak, and my thoughts are now wandering in the direction of euthanasia.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Mick's turned up at Grey Gables' reception, after a fairly long absence. It is not a noticeable improvement, but presumably the scripties have got him in stock for some reason or other.

In the meantime, someone's slaughtered all the birds.

But here they are where Chelsea's at. With starlings and robins and sparrows, I think, which is more than we've had for a while. Could it be an end-of-tax-year thing, assuming it was recorded last month? Or did they run out of other ideas?

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Twelve minutes left, by my watch. Just in case anyone else is thinking what I'm thinking.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Ah. The Lord Mayor of Felpersham. I was wondering, though I can't think why.

There's a robin at the rewilding, and Harry's helpfully fallen off the wagon, posing a dilemma that we've spent a fortnight doing to death already.

Personally, I'd have just re-badged some dandelions, but the primrose path has literary implications that have gloriously ambiguous merit in an educational context.

And now Lilian's rumbled Alice, too. She's getting good at rumbling.

wibble, 21 days ago

@thearchers Happily, Alice "can't do this any more" and, if our luck holds, she''ll stick to that next week.

Still, we've paid a heavy price for that tiny shard of hope. Including, most notably, a hefty dose of no sheep. It's a terrible world we live in.

wibble, 28 days ago

@thearchers I've not really kept track, but I don't remember there being a Crown and Cushion in Penny Hasset. Or, for that matter, George having any mates.

Alice is being rumbled some more, and now we get to hear Ed bidding on an online chainsaw in Greenbury, apparently, wherever that is.

Still, we've been promised some teatime weaning.

wibble, 28 days ago

@suearcher @thearchers Ah. That would explain it. Though the Beatles were, I'm happy to say, well before my time.

wibble, 28 days ago

@thearchers We're back at the horseless stables and the delicate rumbling of Alice who is sprinkling the blame as blithely as a Post Office executive.

Sheep! We've got sheep! And lambs! This is very much what I'm here for.

Less so the branding discussion.

wibble, 28 days ago

@thearchers Oh No! The rumbling of Alice has taken an unscheduled detour down a very well-worn track.

I'm sure the scripties are only doing what they're told, but I think it could only be better for the listener if they used the shredder more often than the duplicator.

And there's an end to it, with everything much as it started, apart, of course, for Chris' knife...