Yeah, been here before. Something that truly does help me is making lists like others said. When you add your tasks though, list out the subtasks required too. It helps you visualize the problem better and sometimes makes you realize that your brain is making a mountain out of tasks that are less involved than you realize.
I’m a programmer and sometimes my ADHD makes me sweat when I see incoming work projects. But as soon as I finish a first pass on a list of what needs to be done and the project is broken out into features and tasks within those features, it’s much more mentally manageable. The reality is that you can’t do all of those things at once anyway, so all you can do is divide and conquer. If anyone has a problem with that, fuck em.
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to hit an expectation target that is often times manufactured in my own head, or just completely unknown and I’m worrying for nothing. The other times, it was someone asking for something completely unreasonable and I had to come to terms with that. I know how quickly I work and how I work. If people don’t like it, I can’t please them and that’s their problem not mine.
I always try to tell myself that no one is getting anything from me if I’m not healthy and supported myself, so fixing that comes first. Sometimes you have to force yourself to remember that you are your own person that deserves happiness and isn’t a slave to anyone else’s unrealistic demands. You control what you do and you work in your own way. Don’t let yourself manufacture expectations because your own brain will always keep them super high.