This sounds like the average extrovert’s perspective on an introvert lifestyle tbh. “Oh you have minimal social life and focus on your passions there must be something wrong with you.”
Yep, or a caffeine addict who is flabbergasted I don’t consume caffeine. (I’m not calling everyone who consumes caffeine a caffeine addict, just the ones who literally can’t function without it) Like I can’t consume more than a negligible amount of caffeine because it triggers my migraine. But apparently something is wrong with me because I’m not dependent on a drug to stay awake.
I have the same issue. I can take 300 mg and then fall asleep. I had a spinal tap this spring and as I get post-spinal headaches they gave me a lot of caffeine and when I fell asleep they were somewhat weirded out. But I am being tested for ADHD which it might be linked to.
This is 100% ADHD. I can drink coffee right before going to bed and sleep like a baby. It has to do with the way our brain needs energy. I find that caffeine calms me down because my brain finally has enough energy to regulate my attention.
It can be and is one of the reasons why I am in the process of diagnosis. The issue is that it is not easy as the traits of ADHD and PTSD have a lot of overlap. There are two things why I do think it is both is this. Another is that I do get pretty intense hyperfocus.
It is and it’s normal. When I was taking medicine to help with ADHD I could drink a huge coffee and then go to sleep. I stopped taking ADHD medicine 15-20 years ago (mainly due to side effects and being rebellious against my parents) but I still have a weird relationship with caffeine. 3 coffees to even feel it at all, and one just makes me sleepy.
People with ADHD have something called a paradoxical effect with stimulants. It’s related to the differences in brain chemistry, and it’s why amphetamines are a useful pharmaceutical therapy for those with ADHD while having something more akin to a recreational effect on the neurotypical.
Sometimes the paradoxical effect is just nothing, or very limited expected effect. The name is a bit of a misnomer in the sense that stimulants don’t have an opposite effect, but rather they are inducing stimulation where it is lacking for ADHD. So instead of getting this rush of energy and focus that a neurotypical individual would, those with ADHD are merely reaching a “normal” level of stimulation by compensating for a lack thereof. In essence the stimulants aren’t acting differently with ADHD, instead their action is compensation. You can see evidence of this in that those properly undergoing amphetamine therapy will still have some side effects of stimulants (e.g. reduced appetite).
At least this is how I understand it. I’m only a nurse, so I very well could have some misunderstanding here that hasn’t been corrected.
I call them my coffee naps. 3 cups and then i go pass out for two hours. And I just got diagnosed with ADHD this week. Wasn’t aware of the relationship between the two.
I’d even go as far as to say that everything I’m not forced to do is, (very) technically, more or less, based on selfishness/egoism.
There’s the times when I genuinely enjoy doing something
times when I don’t really care about something (or even dislike it slightly) but friends/family members are happy to do it together (in turn being beneficial for me because I like them being happy)
something I may dislike but is (in the long term) beneficial for me (studying, taking yucky medicine :)) )
probably lots more categories I can’t think of/don’t have the time to write down
Of course this is kinda taking it to the extreme, but I don’t think I’ve ever done anything without any benefit, however broadly defined, for me, unless I was absolutely forced to do so without any way out.
What you encountered was a sociopath projecting how they feel about every action they take onto you. Somehow you are the asshole for not complying with their selfishness.
You can’t tell what it really is based on the information given. You normally need to meet 4 or 5 criteria in order to give a diagnosis. Besides that, you need knowledge and life history of your patient because a lot of diagnosis overlap. Probably this is the catch from the question, he has traits of being obsessive, but you can’t really say what just yet. A bunch of people, even while studying, will fall for questions like these.
People have a lot of traits of one mental condition or another. And it is normal. There are usually two points of mental health conditions, one if you have enough traits and feelings etc and another if they affect your life negatively. Admittedly no actual graduated doctor in multiple countries would make a diagnosis with this little information which is why I am guessing this is meant for earlier parts of medical education.
To give you a word and framework for what your post, and a lot of the comments here, are describing: intersectionality. Multiple oppressed identities or characteristics compound to be more oppressive than the sum of their parts.
Your struggles are real, and you’re making perfect sense. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of that, that fucking sucks.
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Have you checked out a book called Unmasking Autism? If not, it may help you a lot. www.amazon.com/…/B09BBM2WQJ/
I haven’t finished it yet but it’s been immensely informative.
One thing I learned from this book is that autism, among other things, until recently was not viewed from point of “how is this person feeling or experiencing this?” it gets viewed as how the Autist is different or bothering neurotypicals by not following social norms. And I saw a hint of that idea in the picture.
Masking is exhausting and energy intensive. You’re having to consciously recognize you’re doing something different, and figure out what is expected and fake it and pay attention to whether you think they know you’re faking or not.
Isn't it silly that people being illogical and confusing is considered neurotypical?
Like small things that would just be cleaer if the speaker was direct and clear are considered imposing. For example, being offered something in a lot of cultures is frequently a song and dance with the 'right' number of refusals. There is so much importance on just doing what everyone else does that being honest and direct (not 'brutally honest') because that is considered reading social cues is one of the symptoms of a disorder.
Ugh, I hate this one. I’ve been called it for answering yes/no questions honestly. Like why are you asking if you just want to be lied to? I just refused to play along in casual conversation (I’m better about lying at work cause it’s very separated) and people either learn to stop asking me questions they don’t want the answers or they learn to stop talking to me.
It’s one of my passing hobbies to look up word lists like this - some of them are beautiful, and there’s something really satisfying about knowing this obscure and weird thing you’re experiencing is at least “normal” enough to have its own name.
Then I promptly forget, which is annoying, bit also means I get to discover them all over again a few months later.
On this list I can easily identify with 7/8 too
Other words you might appreciate:
Routineer: one that adheres to or insists on routine
Fika: a moment to slow down and appreciate the little things in life
Philocalist: lover of beauty; someone who finds beauty in all things
Querencia: a sanctuary where you feel safe …or even better, Snuggery: a cozy room
Fleshment: excitement associated with a successful beginning (we won’t talk about finishing the project)
Acatalepsy: the idea that it is impossible to truly comprehend anything
I am in a good mood right now, so I’ll make an effort to understand your point.
What’s wrong with symbols or flags in general? What do you mean with “Tribalism”? Looking at the definition, I don’t get your statement… Mankind was always organised into some kind of groups or tribes. It’s not at all a new penomenon. And what exactly is the backfiring about? I guess it’s meant sarcastically, but I don’t know what exactly you’re hinting at.
Seriously, not being able to recall the knowledge you know you have if the most frustrating part of this. It makes me so mad that I feel like I should know this but I just don’t. So I’m always asking for help, and the minute someone else says “oh check this part” or " you just have to do this" that’s when all the info comes back.
Everyone at my job thinks I’ve got junior level skills, but I’ve been doing it for 11 years and actually know a lot. But I can never prove it.
At this point I’ve all but given up on learning and trying new things, because it feels like it’s pointless. I don’t get excited about anything anymore, it sucks.
I hope this is ok to ask, just stumbled on this thread. Is there anything someone that you’d ask for help for could do or not do to improve how you’d feel about such a situation?
If I were in that situation for so many years, I’d seek some kind of resolution. Either by coming out as Autistic and ADHD to management or - if that was already common knowledge - switching roles, jobs or even profession. Anything to get away from a place that has toxicity already settled in for so long.
I know… it sounds easy in writing. I don’t know enough about the exact situation. But if you needed a justification to overcome autistic inertia and make a push for improvement: Maybe this works as one.
Ah yeah I see where you’re coming from, but as you guessed it’s a little more complicated than that. The environment is not toxic (from my immediate co-workers at least, some higher ups are questionable) everyone treats me well and with respect, it’s just they constantly underestimate what I can do, and tend to overload my coworkers with tickets I could do. But this is not a single business issue, this has happened to me at every job I’ve been at, and it comes from never being able to remember how to do things off the top of my head, I constantly have to looks things up and ask questions for things I’ve done a million times, and it makes it seem to other people like I’ve never done anything, so I’m constantly treated like a newbie. That’s the frustrating part.
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