BackOnMyBS

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

What’s this one about?

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

it is totally a thing.

What was your experience?

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

Thanks! I’ll keep an eye out for the crash and appetite.

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

If you can finally run for the first time in 30 years, it’s not good to run all the time. You still need to have balance.

Good advice! I will definitely take this into consideration because I can go overboard if I don’t watch myself. Thank you

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

the occasional existential identity crisis when the imposter syndrome hits you full in the chest and you wonder if the true you is holding down your job and married your partner.

lol, I can totally see that

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

Do you ever takes any purposeful breaks to rest, or are you pretty much taking it daily?

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

If you’re prone to hyperfocus uncontrollably (as I am) then be warned that for me at least Methylphenidate can often exaggerate this problem which can be troublesome, so keep an eye on that.

Thanks for the tip! Me too, so I’ll definitely keep an eye out for that. 🧐

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

Yes!! I have that I never could make sense of until I heard about monotropism. I took salsa and bachata dance classes 3-4 days/week for about a year, even joining two teams that performed a choreographed routine on stage in front of hundreds if not thousands. I did great in the classes, often getting compliments from my dance partners, and quickly progressed through the levels. However, I could not dance a whole song during a social event without having to stop in the middle of the song to reset. I would forget moves that I practiced literally just minutes before or have been practicing for months, lose the beat, and it’s almost like my mind would become overwhelmed and shut down.

At first, I thought that it was anxiety. To work on this, I exposed myself to the social dance events often by just being there. I did this several times, and if I wasn’t dancing, I felt acceptable. There was some anxiety, but it was completely manageable for a little bit. I also tried to find dance partners that I had a relatively good relationship with to see if that would help, but that wasn’t effective either. The weird thing is that these dance partners in the social events were also partners I danced with in the classes just minutes before. Regardless, the same thing would happen if I tried to dance at the social event: forget moves, lose the beat, mental shut down. I couldn’t think. I really couldn’t. I just kept looking everywhere, distracted by the flashing lights, the intense smell of everyone’s cologne/perfume, wondering what was going to happen, why the music was so loud, why people were dancing chaotically, is my partner going to run into another dancer, is my partner comfortable with my dance lead, did I misinterpret a cue somewhere, etc.

So, I reached out to one of the instructors and asked him about it in a private lesson. Coincidentally enough, he was the father of an autistic child and he recognized what I was saying. He gave me some tips on overcoming it. Basically, he helped me tune out everything besides my dance partner and the beat. I tried this with a few dance partners at the social events, and it helped a lot! However, the tips only worked well if I felt intimate enough with my partners, so I had to be extremely selective which was limiting and may give off the wrong social impression. Ohhh my goodness! And as I type this, I remember that there was one couple that I got along with great, and I was able to dance with the wife with no problems at the social events too. Now that I know what to look for, they were totally autistic!! Omg…OH.MY.GOODNESS!!

Moving on from my epiphany, applying the monotropism theory, what could have been happening was that there was way too much stimuli for my brain to process. I really just don’t have the mechanical mental capacity to process that much information at the same time. It was too chaotic for me. The dance classes were fine because all I had to do was perform the practiced dance moves and stay on beat. I didn’t have to worry about running into other dancers or shutting out the flashing lights and loud music. It was simple. The social event was too much. It’s like I have a processor with few threads but high capacity per thread. I can focus on whatever intensely and become quite proficient at it, but only very few things at the same time. The polytropic-leaning individuals have many threads with less capacity per thread. They can manage many apps all running as long as none of the apps require intense processing.

If we integrated this perspective on tropism into our society, what do you think would be the effect? How will it impact us, both allistics and autistics, in social, medical, and scientific arenas? Will my family finally accept that I’m autistic and that no matter how hard anyone tries, I will never stop being autistic? (jk on the last one. They never will, and I will be okay.)

Adding to the discussion on the theory, what about ADHD? I have that too, and unless I’m either body-doubling or medicated, I become a wreck of inattention. It doesn’t matter what I try, I really need another calm person around me that I trust or medications. Otherwise, my entire life will slowly become a disaster of neglect and regret. How would we view that using the computer analogy? Maybe there’s a part of the computer that decides what gets processed, but that part is running low on voltage, so it needs to borrow some from another machine or get a boost from a battery (stimulants lol) to allow the user to gain control over the processor?

This was so interesting. Thanks for sharing and starting a discussion on it.

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

I remember when I got into my revolutionary phase that there was a post on a forum asking which political system would be the one in effect after a civil war. The consensus was that the it would be the system endorsed by those that were best organized. So if autistics, neurodivergent individuals in general, and allies become more organized, we would have more power to advocate for solutions that fit with our needs and values. I’m hoping that this community can be used as an avenue to push for helpful approaches like in the optimistic scenario.

For instance, you could argue that neurodivergent people are more likely to establish meaningful relationships with other neurodivergent people because they’re more likely to be given the cold shoulder by neurotypicals, which would make autistic and ADHD populations be more likely to merge over time.

Woah! Super interesting. I had never thought about that. Thanks for the engaging discussion, and I hope you get more participation. I look forward to your future posts.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

Day One

Dictator Trump: I am disbanding the US Constitution, and implementing a new one that gives the Office of the President supreme power. Whatever the President says becomes law and supersedes Congress and the Supreme Court. The sole purpose of Congress and the Supreme Court are to support the President however it’s requested by the President. Anyone that disagrees with the President will be immediately be found guilty of high treason and punished by death without a trial. Only the President can decide who is allowed to run for President in elections. The only person that can adjust this constitution is the President, and only in order to give the President more power.

Day Two

President Trump: Sorry, guys. I’m just following the new constitution that the dictator before me implemented. ¯*(ツ)*/¯

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

I can see why people would think I’m joking, but I am not. This is the kind of bs he would pull. He’s warning us, bragging, and setting us up to shift blame onto us at the same time.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

I think that’s Mel Brooks lol

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

I think it’s fairly obvious that they mean Arch because they are sharing which distro they use without being prompted, which is inline with a common running joke about doing the same thing, btw.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

that looks sooo freaking uncomfortable

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

We’re usually saying that it would legitimize these elections

Imagine the audacity of the US to say they legitimized an election when one of their own parties, previous president, and losing candidate can’t legitimize the past election and is already refusing to legitimize the next one.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

I hate the implication that there are two sides. While I agree that US politics has broken into two teams, I think the ideal situation would be that there is only one team (the country as a whole), and that the voting system would not need observers from the candidates’ parties to ensure that no one each cheating. Instead, every single one of us should be expected to be vigilant and protect democracy as a fundamental virtue of our society.

My personal belief is that having someone from the Trump party is basically having someone with increased access to cheat. They are not trying to enforce democracy. They are trying to dismantle it so that they could stay in power. Trump doesn’t believe the election was a fraud based on objective information and rational logic. He believes it because he is severely mentally ill and needs the delusion to avoid a deep sense of shame and despair. As such, there is nothing anyone could say for him to accept that the election is valid.

If we were going to accept that Trump will not be punished for his crimes nor go away, then we need to find an avenue for him to be able to come up with a delusion that maintains that he “won”. Not that he won the election per say, but that he “won the battle between him and Joe Biden” and “is better than him”. Again, ideally, we wouldn’t want to enable a narcissistic personality, but if we were going to, then we would have to find a way to do so and maintain democracy at the same time. Having observers will not achieve this because his personality holds that he is better, so any facts that refute this will be dismissed.

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

To sum up, he did commit to a peaceful transition,

I don’t know if you are referring to Trump, but if you are, I disagree. My position is that he attempted to overthrow the election with a flood of false claims and frivolous lawsuit, intimidating state election authorities to sway the election in his favor, and the whole Jan 6 insurrection. If you don’t agree that’s fine, but I would like to not discuss that. If anyone at this point disagrees, then there is no point in having a discussion about it because we are not working in the same reality with the same rules for logic.

we don’t have much to lose by implementing an even stronger surveillance of the procedure for the next elections.

My argument is that placing people loyal to Trump in any process that involves handling or monitoring the election is giving them an opportunity to cheat the election in favor of Trump. Trump have convincingly demonstrated a complete lack of integrity and connection with reality. If you disagree, that’s fine as well. However, I do not want to debate that for the same reasons as above.

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

Thanks for the chat

Same! 🙂

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

There’s a reason nobody who keeps birds will keep that shit in their house

For those of us that have no clue what this quote it about, what is the reason that nobody with a bird will have teflon in their house at the same time?

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

Wow, that’s nuts. I did not know that. It really makes it sound like teflon is terrible for us.

Sad fact: During the 2003 Invasion of Iraq, the the US command at the front lines had a pigeon in a cage with them at all times. If the pigeon were to die, that would mean that there was a gas attack and troops needed to don their gas masks.

Why is it that birds in particular are so sensitive to aerial pollutants (is that the right term)?

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

Interesting! Thanks for letting me know.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago (edited 1 day ago)

I’m in the USA, so take that into consideration. On top of what everyone else has posted, from what I have read from UK users is that the first major hurdle to a diagnosis is getting the referral from the general practitioner. Often times, that doctor will had a distorted or incorrect belief of what an “autistic person looks like” and gatekeep the process. That’s not to mean that you have to fight them or not. I don’t know what to do in that case. However, if they deny the referral, it doesn’t mean you’re not autistic. I don’t know what the proper way of overcoming this hurdle would be, so maybe others with experience or knowledge on the subject could share their recommendations. If you don’t get any, please make another post. There are surely others that would benefit from that information.

In the meantime, here’s video relevant to my comment: lemmy.world/post/7746510

Edit: Good luck with the process and let us know when you find out the results either way 🙂

BackOnMyBS, 1 day ago

All they did was put Etymotics IEMs

Interesting. I had never heard about these. Was that helpful at all, or mostly a loss of $400?

I’ve looked up the procedure in France and it’s too long for me to be there and do it fully. And I won’t be in the UK long enough to be on a 1.5 to 3 year wait list.

I think you could pay out of pocket, but that’s going to be a few thousand. It might be worth it if you can somehow get that amount of money saved up. Consider what you will get for that in return, and judge if it’s worth the expense. Since I’m in the USA, I had to pay out of pocket, and it was $900 after shopping around a lot. Given the impact it has had, I would gladly have paid more than double for the assessment.

I’ve seen things here that have genuinely helped me and I am so thankful for that

Yay!! That’s so nice to hear (actually, read). In case you haven’t already, take a look at our the helpful resources post linked in the sidebar.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

Pretty interesting! I love how they break down talking in an artistic yet detailed manner. I also like the excitement in the first section about the birds in particular. For me, it set an exciting tone for the rest of the blog. What did you get from the blog, OP?

BackOnMyBS, 3 days ago

I like this approach too. I have friends that are couples and have their own little signs to communicate secretly around others. If discussed in a loving way, it might even be a cute way to get closer to each other. It’s like you’re taking care of each other.

BackOnMyBS, 3 days ago

Welcome! What’s you username about?

Also, feel free to check out the Matrix chat as well. We have a Helpful Support/Venting room that seems to be pretty good so far.

BackOnMyBS, 3 days ago

What are you going through, OP?

BackOnMyBS, 5 days ago

Ok, I think she’s pretty, but that hair is not helping her out because it’s too big in the back. My personal opinion is that I think she would be more attractive if she had a flatter hair style and used light-color eye make up. Maybe something with white or glitter would really bring out her eyes. Regardless, I think that she can do whatever makes her happy.

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

I don’t think I get this joke. Is the joke that there’s a place called Autism Peak? If so, what does kissing have to do with it? Is thee a thing where people say, “What if we kiss at [some place]?” and the point is to find weird places to kiss? I’m so confused by this joke.

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

Um, so then kissing is something that people would like to remember as an enjoyable and sacred experience (of course), but doing so at Autism Peak would be counterproductive to that because the location is associated with looking weird, thus sabotaging the experience and memory? If that’s the case, I can see how it’s funny now…Ohhhhh! Okay. lol It’s kind of like, “What if we kissed at Vertigo Peak” since being dizzy would seem counterproductive to a smooth kissing experience.

Fun fact: I had seen this meme before, and found it funny because someone made the meme, but I didn’t know the joke. The humor to me was that someone made this because it seemed so pointless. Also, that there’s a place called Autism Peak. Since I knew I truly didn’t get the meme, I shared it with friends to see their reactions and maybe get an idea of what was funny about it. However, the friends I shared it with are NTs and just felt uncomfortable with the meme while I was laughing. I wonder what I missed with that interaction…

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

We entertained that idea as well, but our interpretation of the following quote (emphasis is mine) led us to decide that anyone accessing the site in any fashion, wether from another instance or not, is violating the ToS. If you hear otherwise from the admin team, please let us know.

4.1: No one under 18 years of age is allowed to use or access the website. There may be designated sections of the website that may require you to be older to use them, so please read all notices and any additional terms carefully when you access Lemmy.World.

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

I think these are valid points and will discuss it with the LW admin team. Ultimately, it’s their decision since we are guests on their instance.

@savvywolf

BackOnMyBS, 8 days ago

I didn’t expect to see me in a comic, but okay. Thanks for calling me out in front of everyone.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/f519da93-49a5-4b14-aad6-19b7e24cd92c.png

But for real, I will neglect the most basic tasks like urinating or eating. However, if someone is with me, I become extraordinarily productive. It’s so weird. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I suddenly have all the motivation and energy to do everything in the world. Then, when I’m alone, back to the stagnation or obsession.

BackOnMyBS, 8 days ago

I have a very hard time forcing myself to go to bed, or climb out of bed in the morning, even when I want to.

Yes!! Me too! It wrecks my sleep schedule or sleep. If I get on a routine of waking up early every morning, I will be constantly sleep deprived. If I sleep at my natural pace, will have ~26 hrs days, meaning I would go to sleep 2 hours later every day, and get out of sync with the rest of Earth.

I knew there was something going on with me!! I knew it! I knew! I knew!! All these people telling me I just need to go to bed early like I just wanted to ruin my sleep for fun and then complain about it…I’m having a moment of validation right now. Please excuse me.

I was lamenting about how it seems that everyone apart from me seems to have this weird ability to just “not think” about things or do something else to distract them.

Right? It’s like people can sit there and be calm in their heads. Meanwhile, I’m playing a song, tapping a beat, wondering about 5 different problems, making sure I don’t accidentally hurt myself, and listen to what someone else is saying at the same time. It makes me wonder that there may be some sort of mindfulness that would be helpful with autistic people. Rather than trying to not think, control what you think about and focus on enjoyable thoughts. I know this is a lot harder than just saying someone could do that, but maybe there’s a guide or program that’s especially helpful for our neurotype.

Or maybe I’m just overanalyzing things

I’m my personal experience, whenever I get like that and people tell me I’m overanalyzing things, it’s actually my intuition telling that there’s something there that I’m not fully aware of yet. It’s like my unconscious is saying, “Hey! Hey! Pay attention to this!! Something is not right here!”

BackOnMyBS, 8 days ago

I start to feel guilty/ashamed

Which makes it even harder to engage. Once the guilt and anxiety get bad enough, I frantically try to complete the task before seriously upsetting others. It’s never ending cycle of anxiety, guilt, despair, and relief.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

Yes! Imagine a society in which the treatment for AuDHD was to send someone respectful over to your house to sit there doing their own thing while you accomplish your daily tasks 😆

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

Me when I see this post on procrastination in my feed: That sounds like work and guilt, so I’ll do it later. watches video a day later and feels guilty for putting it off

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

That’s an interesting song! I just heard the whole thing while reading along to the lyrics. I find an odd complimentary sense of relief that the song is about not being seen, and that makes you feel seen. I love it! I’m actually going to talk to my autism therapy about removing the mask this upcoming session, so I find your post personally relevant. In particular, I would like to know how to remove the mask or parts of the masks while avoiding punishment. Also, what are the respectable parts of my true self and what are inconsiderate parts? There are so many other questions, but I’m excited to engage in this process of self-discovery and freedom.

OP, I have a few questions for you:

Were you thinking about a person in particular not seeing you, or is this meant to be society in general?

Do you want to be seen, or are you happy being unseen?

Are you intentionally trying to be unseen? If so, why?

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

Evidently, this is a divisive and emotional topic. Still, we’re happy that we are talking about it because it’s certainly important to us in the community. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be so heated about it. At the same time, we’d like to keep the discussion respectful. It’s completely fine to express your opinions as long as they aren’t explicitly violating any of the rules, especially promoting hate. It’s respectful and effective to disagree with someone over a passionate topic without calling them offensive names. There is no need to personally attack anyone or a group, and we do not want to maintain a space that is used for creating hateful division.

Remember, we’re here to discuss all matters related to autism, have a place where we can freely be autistic without having to mask, and ultimately create a community. It’s understandable to get heated over topics, but try to remember that you’re responding to another person that may feel emotional about the matter as well.

In other words, please practice human decency.

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

I agree. My comment was more a humorous play with words trying to be paradoxical.

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

when has “realism” mattered in what anybody thought?

According to Wikipedia, since at least the Classical Period of Ancient Greece.

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

Sorry it took me a bit to reply myself.

No need to apologize! I take a while to engage in topics that require heavy mental processing, especially if they are emotionally loaded as well. Take all the time you need. Also, we’re helping you anyway. Your pace isn’t affecting me at all.

I think honestly it’s the fear of change. I like to fall back and rely on familiar things as a comfort mechanic. If those things aren’t there, I feel anxiety and stress. It’s 2023 and every social media website has either been destroyed or looks to me like it’s going downhill.

Same! There’s something comforting at a fundamental level about it. It’s like if someone asks why loud noises are uncomfortable. It’s because loud noises are uncomfortable. It doesn’t go beyond that. Routine and familiar things are comfortable. There’s nothing beyond that. I could try to make rational sense of it, but that would just be me trying to develop a theory. For me, it just is.

I’m so afraid of the “hurt” that comes from losing access to things that my brain puts up a big warning sign saying “don’t enjoy this because it’ll hurt when it goes away”.

That sounds terrible! It’s like your a prisoner of depression where the punishment is that you cannot enjoy anything, even if you have access to it.

As an analogy, it feels almost like a person who falls hopelessly in love with someone, then goes through a rough breakup and feels that they don’t want to fall in love because they don’t to go through that pain again. Only instead of love it’s like, interests and stuff.

That makes sense. Going off of that analogy, what do the people that go through this rough break-ups and subsequent avoidance of love do to overcome it?

Thanks for the invite, but I don’t think I’m in the best state to try to push myself socially now.

You’re welcome! And I’m happy you’re not pushing yourself beyond your limits. We’ll probably be there if you ever recognize that you are in a position to socialize more 🙂

BackOnMyBS, 2 days ago

Whatever you do, I think that having a discussion, whether formal or informal, about expectations beforehand would be beneficial. Ideas for topics to discuss would be:

• How long will you be there/gone for
• What will be proper and improper discussion topics
• Attire
• What to do if someone feels uncomfortable about the place or someone
• Things people can bring to feel comfortable (fidget toys, hoodies, ear phones, etc.)
• Cool things about the place you are going/things you will be doing (this one is my favorite)
• Any other suggestions?

I would be interested to know how it went and if you learned anything from it. Please make a new post if you would like to share.

BackOnMyBS, 7 days ago

omg, this one had me loling for real 😆