I switched from the regular quetiapine to the extended release. First 4 days I was basically depressed. But now I feel great! I got 1001 xp in Duolingo doing like 25 lessons in a row, then I watered the plants, then I realized the plants need pruning, so I did that, which got the rug dirty, so I vacuumed, and then I needed to sweep to get the rest of it, which spilled over into the next room, so I swept that one as well, and then I spent over $1k to pre-order a new phone. How are you?
I am irritated with everyone and everything. Been like this for months and it seems to be getting worse. We tried raising my lamictal a few months ago to no avail. Now it’s time to try tweaking the Geodon. I’m pissed off at work and it’s hard to keep myself from quitting and withdrawing my 401k to live off of for a while. I keep waking up 3 hours early at 2AM despite Ambien which makes me even more irritable. I’ve shot my mouth off texting my boss at 3AM twice in the last two weeks about how pissed I am at our working conditions which is not her rules but damn I wish she would advocate instead of just saying I agree to placate us. I know it was stupid to do and yet it’s like I’ve lost control of myself. I do have FMLA I can use but I can’t afford the unpaid time which just frustrates me even more.
On a good note at the same time I’ve enjoyed knitting again the past few weeks which hasn’t happened in two and a half years. So there’s that.
And deicing my car at 8 degrees this morning didn’t help start the day. FTS.
I blew up my therapists phone a couple days ago.
First world problems, I know. It could be so much worse. I’m not jumping off a roof. Thanks for letting me rant a bit.
Please never feel like your problems aren’t significant. They are very real to you, and that’s all that matters. Irritability sucks! Honestly, for me that’s the worst thing about bipolar. The only thing that worked for me was Vraylar and a ton of meditation and mindfulness. Therapy and processing trauma helped as well. I still get irritable and angry, but I get calm so much faster, and I don’t dwell on it. As always, I’m questioning how much of this is medication and how much is my coping skills… and how much is just luck that maybe my hormones and neurotransmitters are ok right now? Anyway…
It makes me happy to hear you’re enjoying knitting! It’s my favorite hobby. What are you working on? Are you a part of the !knitting?
I started a cowl just to start something but I’m not sure I’ll finish because I’m wanting something with a little more immediate satisfaction… yes it’s posted in knitting, I’m getting my groove back lol
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