Going back to Reddit feels bad

I went back to Reddit this morning. Yeah I know, but I just wanted to check the place out after all the blackouts. As I was scrolling through my typical stuff I was down voting dumb things as is pure habit and it struck me.. after being here only 2 days and not having any down vote button, what was just a pure habit suddenly felt a little dirty.

Those people I just down voted didn't do anything wrong I just didn't agree with them. But by down voting them I'm basically doing one little part in actually silencing them. It felt bad. In fact all of Reddit felt bad.. like, it was just such a habit and I was ready to go back, but once I did it wasn't as good as I remembered it.

All it took was 2 days away using a different platform that gives me essentially the same stuff I want to read and this no down vote thing somehow has resonated with me more than I would have thought. I actually went back and removed the down votes. Those people have the right to feel how they do whether I agree or not. I don't need to silence and invalidate people over things that are so incredibly minor.

I've decided I will use Reddit only via Google search if it has the content I'm looking for, just like any other webpage, but I think Lemmy, and Beehaw specifically, are my new home. It no longer feels like "the alternative." It feels like a place I actually chose to be. I wrote in my application that I wanted less toxicity in my life and I think that's already happening. I'm really grateful to have discovered this place.

Kara,
Kara avatar

I popped open Reddark for a bit to check the progress on the blackout, saw that DamnThatsInteresting went online, and decided to make a post on Spez's quote about knowing the blackout wouldn't last. (And that post somehow got #1 on r/All, so I am technically an "Elite Reddit user", interesting way to have a last post turn out)

My goal was to try and get people to try harder to extend the blackout. But instead I just got "Welp, guess the blackout failed, nothing we can really do about it" which was certainly disappointing

jzzvid,
@jzzvid@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

For the longest time, I avoided Reddit because of just how toxic it was becoming. This is really true of a lot of social networks. That's why I joined this instance (lemmy.blahaj.zone) because it doesn't have a downvote button, allows NSFW content for when I want it, and seems to have a friendly userbase. I was initially on Lemmygrad, but it really felt like an echo chamber and quite frankly I need a detox from "tankie" spaces.

I'm starting to realize the value in curating my spaces and paying attention to what I expose myself too. The last several years have been unbearable. Social media has put gasoline on a civilization that is on fire. It's been terrible for all of our well-being and mental health. And behind all of this are algorithms keeping us addicted and logged-on. What was once fun became an inescapable curse.

The thing is none of us are to blame for all this. Everyone was manipulated into it. But now we know we can at least try to do something about it. Independent and federated networks are part of that solution. Taking the social influence out of the hands of corporations who control what we see and manipulate our emotions so they can harvest and sell our data is key.

In the collapse of major social networks there is a silver lining—we have the ability to change the tide. This is a major opportunity for us and we should us it to make the Internet a better space. We all both need and deserve that.

667,
667 avatar

Between the pandemic and the 2020 election cycle was when I became acutely aware of the information I was ingesting. I found myself becoming more and more upset by the posts I was reading while doomscrolling. Eventually I communicated with my partner about turning all that shit off via filters and tuning out and we immediately became 100% happier for it.

FabledAepitaph,

I noticed that too. Only instead of upset, I was becoming angry and supercharged into actually doing things about it. I think this was actually a positive for me, because I enjoy having a passion about some of these political topics I would have simply glossed over before.

DaedalousIlios,
@DaedalousIlios@pawb.social avatar

I really think it's just a toxic culture thing. I've seen similar instances in people coming from places like League of Legends of World of Warcraft to other games or communities.

When you hang around in a toxic environment and the powers that be do nothing to curb that behavior, you begin to feel like you have to also be toxic in self-defense. It becomes your only recourse.

Then you go somewhere that's not toxic and it's like a culture shock: people actually get banned for bad behavior, other people aren't nasty to you all the time, and you suddenly realize that you don't have to be defensive.

I have a lot of hope for Lemmy. I hope it keeps growing and I hope people don't just join the platform, but join the culture and contribute in positive ways. Reddit is dying and people need to let it and make something better.

bermuda,

I remember playing Fallout 76 and being sooo untrustworthy of people out of pure habit after a lifetime of "toxic" games. People on there ended up being very wholesome. I didn't meet any "lifetime" friends like some others did, but most people just wanted to give me stuff and give me good advice since I was new. They didn't even have to, they just wanted to because I was new to the game.

DaedalousIlios,
@DaedalousIlios@pawb.social avatar

That honestly makes me very happy to hear! I really hope that catches on in more games. A kind and helpful community is important for the survival of the gaming community as a whole, but doubly so for individual games.

polygon,

you begin to feel like you have to also be toxic in self-defense [...] Then you go somewhere that’s not toxic and it’s like a culture shock

This is exactly what I've experienced! I'm not looking to make any excuses for my time on Reddit but seeing the cause just laid out like that makes me feel.. maybe not better, but differently, about why that behavior didn't seem wrong at the time. I'm sure at some point early on I was downvoted and mocked and thus started the cycle of retaliation downvotes until it became normalized.

Then I come here to Beehaw and I can't even downvote you. If I disagree, I have to actually engage with you. And in this instance at least, if I just treat you like garbage the mods are going to notice. That means if I want to engage, then it needs some thought behind it. All of this leans in the direction of starting conversations instead of silencing them.

DaedalousIlios,
@DaedalousIlios@pawb.social avatar

It makes me very glad to hear that Lemmy has this effect on people! It gives me a lot of hope for the platform. I also came from Reddit. I joined yesterday, actually. Immediately, I didn't miss it. I still don't. I miss the resources I had there, but I'm not gonna wait around while they slowly bleed out.

But I did notice what you said here. The disliking something just because people didn't like it. Reddit is infected by pervasive, toxic elitism and sophistry. I hope Lemmy does better in those regards, and your post here reassures me it will. Or that at least Beehaw will.

HappyMeatbag,
@HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org avatar

Important note: I apologize in advance for this lousy suggestion.

Do you know that you can edit post titles? This is a great candidate for a lame joke. Just change it to “Going back to Reddit: feels bad, man”.

yote_zip,
@yote_zip@pawb.social avatar

Everyone else has already hit the culture points, but I want to touch on how smooth and snappy lemmy's web UI is. Maybe my home instance is just overpowered, but even old.reddit.com is a slug in comparison to how fast this feels. One of the most unexpected wins for me so far.

Monola19,
Monola19 avatar

Also haven’t been back on Reddit and don’t plan on going back. It’s hard, I’m used to being on Reddit multiple times a day and have to fight the muscle memory to click on the app. But I’m realizing I’m really not missing out on anything by not being there. I’d rather stick with this community as we continue to grow. I don’t even use third party apps—it’s just the principle. Just doesn’t feel right to go back, feels scummy to support the site knowing that it’s owner doesn’t give af about its users.

CinnamonTheCat,
@CinnamonTheCat@beehaw.org avatar

What helped me is uninstalling Reddit from my phone .

mobyduck648,
@mobyduck648@beehaw.org avatar

My ‘methadone’ for mobile Reddit is using old.reddit.com through the browser. No toxic algorithmic feed and ‘nag nag nag app nag nag app app’ interruptions but it’s so fiddly to use I spend less time there.

rimlogger,

Why not use both? Doesn't have to be either/or. You don't have to be super ideological, use platforms when they suit your purpose. I'm sure Lemmy will grow with time.

bdiddy,

Same as the title for me but different than your thing. Just feels stale over there and I go into comments and it's the same ol drivel over and over again lol. This community feels fresh and I'm really enjoying exploring the various communities and chatting casually about whatever..

Feels just very corporate place over there and I dunno. Just not feeling right anymore. I'm thinking maybe it's been wrong all along I just didn't realize. Hopefully lemmy's growth continues but at a reasonable pace so that we don't devolve in the same sorta rhetoric over and over again.

I definitely feel better over here now and while there are way less comments it really seems like the engagements are far better.

Maybe that's what it is. By the time I look at a post over on reddit there are 1000s of comments and half of them just saying the same thing lol.

At least here you can contribute

SkepticElliptic,

Those are probably bots/account harvesting.

LoamImprovement,

Based on usage statistics during the blackout where 99% of the site was unusable (and bots are known to post in that 1% of low traffic subs to farm karma,) I'm honestly wondering if it's not just mostly bots at this point.

https://blackout.photon-reddit.com/

At any rate, I'm not going back. I like this community more, and the topics I care about will find a home here eventually.

daddy,

One of the main features that sets Reddit apart from other social media platforms is the downvote feature. Sure it gets abused, but it is still extremely valuable.

Look at how much rage bait gets shoved into your timeline on other social media apps. Controversial posts get attention from both sides, moving them up the ranks, but without a downvote feature it makes it feel like an extremely popular opinion.

It also helps with removing trolls, misinformation, and useless comments like “this!” from your feed.

Please don’t get rid of the downvote feature, it’s necessary.

IsThisLemmyOpen, (edited )

deleted by creator

invalidrequest,

OGs know that's what the up/down buttons were originally for. They used to be called upmod and downmod, as if every Redditor was a mini moderator deciding what content deserved to be surfaced. It wasn't until the masses came that it became common to downvote quality content just because you disagree, and I was sad that reddit didn't do anything to combat the new direction.

quantum_mechanic,

Seems many people have gone back though, since kbin is much faster than it was this time yesterday.

BreadDog,
BreadDog avatar

Ernest might have also gotten up more servers to handle the load, noticing that cloudflare is off and we are federating again (this is a beehaw thread)

reflex,
reflex avatar

this is a beehaw thread

I was wondering what OP was talking about when they said they had no downvote buttons. I see a down arrow here on Kbin bruh!

PB-and-Jon,

I was wondering what OP was talking about when they said they had no downvote buttons.

Same here, but I'm excited to see what the fediverse will look like now that it's functional again.

bbtai,
bbtai avatar

Yup! I wanted to comment like “hey, don’t feel bad OP, you have 5 downvotes yourself” lol.

Lilkev,
Lilkev avatar

Federation seems to be blipping in and out on kbin (posting this comment from kbin). Not even sure if this comment I'm posting will be federated. Regardless, @ernest is putting in work!

Lells,
Lells avatar

The funny thing, is the Reddit rules clearly stated that the downvote button should only be used if the post or comment was off topic or blatantly terrible, and should not be used just because you disagree. However, nobody read the rules, or if they did, bothered to follow them.

ThisIsMyNewAccount,

Yep. Stated quite clearly in Reddiquette.

Kryostar,

@polygon well, don't go back.
If you felt bad about the way reddit has been treating its community, then why would you go back?

Louis Rossman said something along the lines of "It's like spending the weekend away from an abusive spouse". It's not gonna do anything.

Stop using reddit. If they don't change things before the 30th, delete the data on your account.

Edit: Here's Rossman's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U06rCBIKM5M

CodingAndCoffee,
@CodingAndCoffee@lemmy.world avatar

You're right, the culture there has grown rotten.

The only reason I'll be heading back is to wipe out my history and migrate my subreddit content here.

fennec,

Shreddit is your best friend in that regard. I used it to wipe my account squeaky clean.

Plus_a_Grain_of_Salt,

Thank you for the shreddit lead, I got some data to burn.

jellyfish,

A better option in my opinion is power delete suite. It let's you edit comments and doesn't require you to give access to your account to a third party service.

https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite

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