A little thing. I had a rest day today. Read my book. Watched some old tv. Felt sad but managed to get myself out for a walk. I am so terrified of slipping back into depression I struggle to rest. But I stopped and looked at my to-do list I made for the weekend and I did it all. And I rested.
Just wanted to write that down so I remember it’s ok
Stumbled upon an early Dia Los Muertos thing in the garden of the Mexican Embassy here last night, which was open to the public. Very sweet & uplifting. May have to swing by again today as it is probably running all weekend.
Then met up with an ex to see about obtaining a exhibition space for a local arts charity, and so far it looks like that’ll pan out well.
Other than that, general chaos surrounding potential romantic relationships. Only option is to be very open with all concerned, but there’s still a lot of scope for messiness.
Party tonight… has been a while since I’ve done that!
It’s been a long week. Quarterly reporting time so I haven’t really stopped. It’s been good though, very productive. I went to a show last night which was great fun, just what I needed.
Also finally found a form of fibre craft that I can do- loom knitting. Makes such a difference to not have to rely on hand eye coordination, turns out mine is worse than I thought! So looks like the baby hat will be ready for my niece after all.
The past few weeks have been what the ancient Chinese would reportedly have called “interesting times”.
The hardware for the new server at work has finally arrived and been installed after seven weeks, so now I’m super busy setting everything up. It’s a Hyper-V host with a Windows terminal server, a Linux Jitsi server and a FreeBSD web/VPN server (because of reasons), and of course everything works except the Windows server won’t talk to the DC in the same subnet unless both firewalls are completely disabled, which isn’t really an option for internet-facing machines. This is not going to be good for my mental health.
I fear that my older stepdaughter is heading towards a depression fast - she’s been under a lot of pressure lately, and she’s showing all the signs. She desperately wants to see a therapist but the earliest appointment we could get so far is in January. Hopefully SO and me will find a way to stabilize her and take some of the pressure off in the short term.
Her younger sister and me have had a long talk about mental health and handling conflicts in general. She’s very understanding of the situation and mature for her age, and I’m immensely proud of her.
Other than than I’ve used this week to not do much, walk the dogs when it’s not raining and re-read a couple of books that I’m particularly fond of.
I’ve finally started a small project that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time - a doggy stick library (basically a wooden board with small shelves where dogs can ‘borrow’ sticks). It’s coming along nicely and I can’t wait to put it up at that place where lots of dog owners start their evening round. I hope it’ll brighten someone’s day.
My sister-in-law from Argentina is visiting us. I wish we could chat more. My Spanish still leaves a lot to be desired, and she speaks a (to my ears) particularly difficult ‘Spanish’. But it’s still good to have her here, she’s pleasant company and a great cook.
Well, for over a year I’ve had a minor skin condition. I’ve been given a cream for this. I’ve returned to the doctors and dermatologists more than once. It hasn’t worked. They keep renewing the prescription… No use, no change… because it turns out I’ve been using the wrong cream.
They all come in a generic white tube, you see? And I usually put it on after I shower and don’t have on my glasses. And my partner puts all the medicated creams in one spot. So, from time to time I must have been using the right one…
Anyway. On Monday I finally realised my goof and…the problem has disappeared. 4 applications. Done… I’m an idiot.
Been playing at-work counselor, as a few co-workers have been involved in a monster of a project. Not because the project is crazy (putting on a ~120 person event); they’ve/we’ve done this many times before, even far larger events. But because the volunteers advising us on this event think they’re fully in-charge of the event. They’ve been making insane and inane demands of my co-workers, yet don’t want to put in any of the real work. The event is in 3 weeks, we’re losing tons of money on this event, and it’s been one of the most chaotic event preps I’ve seen, yet the volunteer committee continues to demand changes and additions.
Since I’m not attending this event, I’ve only been helping on a few smaller, behind-the-scenes things: logistics and event AV. Which means I don’t interact with these volunteers. But my co-workers do and they’re being driven to the brink. I wish I could help in some way, but unfortunately, it’s not my place to smack the volunteers (as much as I wish I could). The best I can do is make sure my small parts come together and be someone they can vent to. It’ll all come together as it always done, it’s just that all this negative energy and even vitriol isn’t necessary.
Financially, my brother and I found out that a place that we lived at literally 2 years ago sent a bill we supposedly owed, to collections! For 2 yrs, they never contacted us saying we still owed them some money. Even though they had our email addresses, phone numbers, and even new addresses! And it recently hit out credit reports. I don’t think we owed them any money in the first place, so now I gotta get in touch with these asshat apartment managers (seriously, the place was so mismanaged – like 6-7 property managers within 5yrs) and figure out wtf is going on. It’s* super great* that this popped up now as I’m potentially looking for a new apartment in a couple months. Sigh.
I wanted to get my hot water heater fixed with a $50 thermostat, but the plumber wouldn’t touch it and wanted $3000 to replace it. Ouch! I might try to find a replacement thermostat via Google, but it’s an ancient model and the part numbers don’t turn up anything. Really don’t need more bills right now!
It is starting to heat up in Australia, and the bushfires have already killed 2 people in my state in the last week. I’m not looking forward to another black summer. However, on the bright side, there seems to be a shift in the views of our Nationals party regarding climate change - they’ve always been conservative but now it seems they’re getting on board with climate action, since they’re being affected by the heat, droughts etc. I wish people would take action for things before it affects them personally, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.
I hope everyone gets through their struggles and has some time to relax and enjoy themselves this week.
My partner is a craftswoman, and she’ll soon be taking part in a fair. She does it 5-6 times a year, and during those times, I spend a lot of my free time assembling and sewing for her.
It’s during these times that I watch to old series (actually, I’m more listening than watching). Right now, it’s Supernatural. I didn’t watch it with any regularity when it first came out.
I started to post yesterday, but I was feeling down for no discernable reason, and I couldn’t think of anything to say other than how awful I felt. Today, thankfully, I feel a lot better.
Much to my joy, my youngest (who is 20 years old) has agreed that, instead of me scrambling around looking for perfect, expensive presents for Christmas for everyone (which is pretty much exclusively my job), we’re all just going to buy stocking stuffers for each other and let each person buy their own expensive things instead of expecting me to do it for them. It just seems so ridiculous to me that I got my kids addicted to a Christmas celebration that often left me so burned out that I’d spend the week between Christmas and New Year’s in bed. We’re not even Christian, and my kids are adults, so why on earth am I still killing myself to make the day perfect for them, when they have no interest in doing the same for me? We all have similar incomes, so this seems very fair to me. I hope it will take some of the stress out of the coming season.
Finally, I’m starting to feel better on CPAP. Got a full face mask instead of those horrific nasal pillows (I don’t get how having something shoved into your nostrils is supposed to be the most comfortable option, especially when I had to tape my mouth shut to make them work at all!). I kept waking up flat on my back, when I haven’t been able to breathe while laying on my back since the mid-1990s. Checked my data using OSCAR, and have learned a whole lot. Apparently, with a CPAP and a full face mask, I can both breathe and sleep just fine on my back- last night I only spent thirteen seconds total in apnoea- and I’ve had some episodes of deep sleep that lasted more than an hour, when I couldn’t maintain deep sleep for two minutes with untreated apnoea.
This of course makes me wonder if I’ve actually had apnoea since the mid-1990s and how much damage I’ve done to my brain. At my age I doubt I will get all of it back.
I’m concerned about my eldest, who seems very dull and quiet lately. They’ve been a hardcore tech person since they were a toddler (not even exaggerating) and are now saying things like “I just leave all settings on default, it’s easier”, and not even bothering to do a search when they run into issues with things. They are behaving like my 73-year-old husband and it’s super worrying because they will be 29 next month. I wish I knew what to do to help them.
I also need to stop treating this thread like it’s my personal blog, haha.
I feel you on the Christmas tradition! My family sets price caps on presents and I think it saves a lot of stress. Ever since I was 21 or so, the best part of Christmas was the food and the celebration, not the presents.
Sleep is so important and it’s great you’ve got a solution with a cpap machine now. Well done!
As for your techie child, it may be part of an ongoing trend in tech that things are getting worse instead of better - I feel that myself, and I know my friends do too - but they could also just be growing out of their hobbies and exploring new aspects of life. After working at a tech job I don’t want to spend my evenings at a computer any more, so I’ve started riding motorbikes and getting into photography, gardening and other outdoorsy stuff in the last few years.
I know it’s common for the holidays to feel stressful. But it shouldn’t. Nevermind religious connotations, it’s meant to be a festive time culturally. Let it be that! And it sounds like you’re trying to be on that track.
Realized there’s only one week left of October already and bought a bunch of pumpkin, squash, and pears I saw on discount to get more into the autumn mood and make some spooky recipes. I’ve been trying to transition into completely plant-based cooking at home but I’ve never been a huge red meat person anyways. Never knew that canned chickpea juice could be used to make a meringue!
I’ve been trying to appreciate the smaller things more and reduce my negative attitude. Lately I’ve been trying to ease into more mini trips around my area like a tourist since I’ve felt pretty stagnant and paralyzed mentally for awhile. Haven’t been to a symphony in awhile so I’m looking forward to seeing Holst’s The Planets. First time hearing that piece live.
Just got back from my trip to Chicago and wow I really enjoyed the vibe there. I live in the Pacific Northwest and it’s so different! The cta was so convenient (even though the ticket machines wouldn’t take any of my cards so I couldn’t buy a day pass). The architecture was really interesting and the locals were pretty friendly. I would like to return and spend more time exploring, as I only had one day proper to spend in the city.
Back home now and we’re starting a cold snap and the heat in my building still hasn’t been turned on. I feel like I’m in a Dickens novel huddling over my desk and blowing on my fingers to thaw them.
I keep having anxiety attacks whenever I decide to look/apply for jobs. I am so tired and I don’t feel that I even have the right to complain about it because so many people have worse than me. Knowing I have to humiliate myself to recruiters also doesn’t help. I hate this.
Hosting some dear friends this weekend, just finished up the rehearsal/performance process of a staged reading for an incredible piece last weekend. Feeling fortunate and heartfull. Excited about cooking for my friends and watching lots of scary movies! And karaoke will definitely be happening at some point. Hope everyone has a great week!
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