Thcdenton, :(
Chainweasel, Her name wasn’t “Vorbis” was it?
jobby, ‘Nearly decapitated’ seems a little overblown.
Darken, 
deleted_by_author
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot, Wouldnt you love your death description to be a flying turtle?
Ask Aeschylus.
RIP_Cheems, 
Damnit luigi, calm the fuck down
sxan, 
I feel sad for the turtle.
samus12345, 
I looked it up and it unsurprisingly did not survive. :(
Tremble, Oh come on. How much of her neck was still attached?
TruthAintEasy, 
Did a big eagle take it for a ride and then drop it on the road to get at the yummy inside? How does this happen?
21Cabbage, I almost wonder if it got clipped just right to be punted into the air by another car’s tire while staying relatively intact and it’s just a mix of a bunch of coincidences.
samus12345, Most likely that’s what happened.
SubArcticTundra, 
No it just woke up one day and decided it was a bird
TruthAintEasy, Imagine explaining it to your insurance in the age before cellphone cameras.
SubArcticTundra, Haha still that woukd be a very creative way to fabricate a claim for a new windscreen
21Cabbage, Jumping off a bridge because it doesn’t have an understanding of fall damage also seems plausible.
gerbler, Red koopas are the ones that turn around so this checks out.
SkybreakerEngineer, It fired up the rockets and started spinning because a girl sang to it
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