uhhhhm how do you feel about it, OP? i feel like these open ended questions are kind of hard to approach without a little more context… like yea, beauty expectations on anyone, men included, are bad. so like… do you wanna talk about a particular aspect, the effects on trans men specifically, how it affects passing, or what…? or, tell us what inspired you to ask this question
Probably not the person you might want answering this, but I’ll share my two cents anyway:
I believe men are somehow shit outta luck if not conforming to the strong, tall, muscular, athletic and handsome ideal that seems to be peak masculinity. Although there seems to be an improvement on that front. Further normalising the androgynous look is going to help a lot of transmasc people feel less anxiety about passing. Not in the least because some of these aspects about the general beauty standard for men are unrealistic, even for cis men.
As for me, I’m more than happy to contribute to normalise the androgynous look. I’ve never been happier with my appearance than since I’ve been experimenting with incorporating more feminine traits. Growing my hair out, getting a more feminine haircut, dyeing my hair, braiding my hair, removing body hair, styling eyebrows, that sort of thing. Oh, and most important of all, just doing all of this while never elaborating on it. It’s always just “hey this is my new thing, I will not be taking questions on this”.
I feel like men should not be denied those sorts of thing while still being considered men. And all of us should be free to pursue our own beauty standards. Now to make society submit to those truths…
I’m a middle-aged, straight cis man and always believed that, but as I’ve aged I’ve also found out that a lot more women were attracted to me than I ever knew.
That old bit of clichéd advice is true:
Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive.
Play up your good sides. Don’t emphasize the ugly sides.
Sometimes you have to let it go, accept yourself, and find out who your people are.
All that said I’m tall and strong. I don’t deny either white nor male privilege. I don’t think of myself as handsome but others thankfully disagree. And I’m very fat, not at all athletic. I’m not the easy ideal at all. But I’m not the antithesis of it either.
I’ve also known some truly hideous men who were able to consistently get sexual attention when they wanted it.
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