I’ve had only one workplace experience that I would consider extreme. I was directly threatened (unsolicited physical harm) by another co-worker. I immediately brought it to the attention of the manager and their response was: “I don’t have time for this shit!”.
I walked out, got in my car and drove home. Then I wrote a very detailed letter (email) to the corporate headquarters explaining what had transpired. The next morning I went back to work, with several printed copies of that email, to hand deliver to the managers.
While waiting in my car for the building to open, one of the managers came to speak to me. They expressed to me that they knew what had happened the previous day and headquarters weren’t going to do anything about it. I gave that manager the printed copies, drove home and never looked back.
I had enough self-respect and dignity to just move on and leave all those assholes behind.
Sounds like you’ve got your bases covered. The only thing I might add is getting legal advice from someone who specializes in ADA/Title II. Unfortunately, there isn’t really an effective escape from workplace bullying other than to GTFO if HR is unhelpful.
You might be able to ask on the Workplace stack exchange for some more help. I’d say to make sure you back up all your email on the subject, in case you do end up in court, but otherwise I don’t have any advice. I hope it resolves easily!
That’s unfortunate. I’m not sure what the situation is at your location, but here in Norway literally every type of work from cleaning shores, through industry and even CEOs, have their respective union. So there might be a relevant union for your workplace, still. Safety for the employees lies in numbers.
In the short term though, I’d recommend reaching out to a local/regional union-of-interest, like a “disabilities-in-the-workplace” watchdog organization.
Your boss&CO sound willing to infantilize you, if it becomes a case, so solid evidence of their conduct is important. though let’s hope your emails solved it, and makes them realize their wrongs.
Keep recordings of all work meetings the coming year
keep your phone in your pocket, make sure your phone mic is pointed in the right direction, and test sound quality beforehand. Garble is not useful for anything.
if possible, you should have a ‘panic’ button sequence on your phone, to hide/stop recording.
do not admit you have faults not caused by your condition, on tape!
You have the right to know who will be part of a meeting, and what the meeting is about, beforehand. They can still spring a meeting on you, if they don’t care.
Sadly it seems like most platforms are like that these days, luckily most of the Fediverse seems to be a lot more healthy than the toxic Social Media's like Reddit.
Hope you have found the sorts of things you were looking for on the Fediverse.
I’ve been holding the same office job with satisfaction for the last 20 years or so despite being an awkward yet likeable (citation needed) weirdo. Here’s how I manage:
Pacing yourself is key. If you’re allowed breaks every couple of hours, take them. If not, take them anyways. If you struggle to stop for a break, it means you really need to take a break.
The politics is part of the job. Treat it as such, with a cool head and a healthy distance.
In a professional setting, nothing’s personal. Leave your ego at home (it’s safer there).
Disconnect once the day is over. You’re not paid in the evening. Find some grounding activity to help if needed.
Ideally, look for a job where it’s possible to somewhat care about the organization’s mission and to actively align with it. It’s more fun building a cathedral than stone cutting, even if it’s the same task.
I hate to say it, but I don’t think there is a way. At least, there isn’t a way that works for me.
If I don’t get laid off I tend to switch jobs every three or four years out of burnout. I try to get into a field that I haven’t worked in before, and usually which has something to do with whatever I’ve been teaching myself in my spare time (aerospace, finance, whatever). As long as it pays the bills and has decent benefits (which is a lower and lower bar every year) I have a chance to recover. I resigned myself long ago to this being the cycle of my life, because the only things I’ve found that don’t result in eventual burnout are sleeping and reading.
I just want you to know that your first paragraph feels as if it was written about me. I've gone through similar and am in the thick of it right now again. It feels a little hopeless at times. But, if nothing else, I understand the struggle, for whatever little that's worth.
I think this is an issue that most, if not all, neurodivergent folks have. I stay at a place until it becomes unsustainable for me. Then I add the things that made that job hell to my list of “shit to avoid at the next job”. Ex: I will never work for another startup again. As far as I can tell they’re all hell. Honestly I think capitalism just isn’t made for us (or people in general).
Good on you friend! Reddit as a platform is nearly as bad as twitter in terms of moderation benefitting/protecting ND and GSRM individuals.
I can’t count the amount of times I reported blatantly transphobic shit only to be met with the standard “We reviewed this content and found nothing wrong” response. It has to happen as often as it happens to me on twitter.
Please be sure to drop off any excess Snoo, Narwhal, Bacon and other references in the garbage bin as soon as possible; and enjoy your time online again!
I think you’ll find that the internet is absolutely a wonderful place if you look and examine the communities you join critically and decide if those communities are for you.
Like with any large community that has failed due to it’s impossible size; lots of adjustments may be necessary. We may lack some of the creature comforts of larger communities, but we do have lots of kindness to make up for it.
Thank you! I think I prefer a smaller community. I would rather have 5 kind people see my comment or post than have thousands see it and bring toxicity with them.
I can’t believe anyone is still using and even defending that word as a slur in 2023. It’s been over a decade since the push to remove references to it in federal law and honestly, even 20 years ago I felt seriously uncomfortable with any use of that word in an offhand or derogatory manner, and I didn’t even know about neurodivergence then.
I feel like the culture around usernames on Reddit really enables this kind of behavior, like it’s a game to be as offensive or lewd as possible for some folks there without “technically” breaking the rules. I deleted my account back when the Apollo drama happened and I definitely don’t miss that aspect of the culture. I’m sorry you encountered resistance to bringing this up, because you are right - it is not okay and it hasn’t been okay for years. I suspect a lot of the “just get over it” is folks who wrongly feel like there is no other option but to tolerate this culture in exchange for the ability to communicate and find support online, since the power you have as a user there is pretty much limited to “I’m leaving”.
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