Apple destroyed a thousand dollars worth of thrift-store finds and people are sincerely mad about that?
Bitching about iPad versus iPod is just bitching about… computers. It’s a fucking tablet. Those have uses. They are in fact advertised on those uses - that’s all the shit getting crushed by a hydraulic press.
Figma is an interface design tool. It’s how task-specific tools get made. It also works over the internet. Big whoop.
Ohhh, this is the Sneer Club instance. That explains the almost-reasonable criticism sprinkled atop incomprehensible cynicism. Performative eye-rolling is the only thing that makes you happy.
I did out of curiosity, especially since I’ve never heard about the first two and “Figma” sounds like a bad attempt at a Ligma joke.
Notion
Tagline:
Write, plan, organize, playTurn ideas into action with Notion’s AI-powered workspace.
Plus this gem
“Your AI everything app.” ~ Forbes
Wait I thought X was the everything app.
I scrolled through and I have no idea why anyone would pay for this. It doesn’t seem to be able to do anything that a GitLab instance can’t and “AI” here just looks like a hook to ChatGPT.
Figma
balls! haha
How you design, align, and build matters. Do it together with Figma.
What the hell does “align” mean here? Align like a div to be centered? It seems to be a design tool so that’s what I assume, but it’s a weird thing to focus on.
Co-create in one spaceWork together in real time and empower designers to create in new ways.
Okay, this at least gives me a product pitch - design tool with real-time sharing like in Google Docs. That sounds actually useful.
Keep workflows efficient with tools that give every team visibility throughout the process.
… aaand this is just word salad, you lost me.
The rest looks like a regular pitch for a prototype tool for UX, which I think is a pretty specific and useful tool though, so I’m not 100% sure why it’d fit with the theme of the blogpost. Maybe I’m missing something, I never actually dealt with serious UX design.
Slack
This one was I surprised by since I thought I knew what the entire Slack product is - it’s a chat. You have channels, direct messages, and pings. That’s about it, right?
Move faster with your tools in one placeAutomate away routine tasks with the power of generative AI and simplify your workflow with all your favourite apps ready to go in Slack.
God what.
The rest is a normal pitch, flexible communications, remote work, channels, etc. But why would you start with AI? Again, Slack is a chat app why would you want gen AI in a chat app?
Slack is already owned by Salesforce. Adobe tried to buy Figma but competition authorities blocked it. Notion is still owned by its founders and funders.
Salesforce is so funny to me cause cloud computing, databases, large datasets, etc. are basically all I do professionally; I’ve met people from Salesforce, I’ve seen talks from Salesforce; I’m more-or-less aware of how Tableu works, which they own.
Gun to my head, I would never be able to tell you what the fuck that company sells. For all I can tell it’s door-to-door cookie Sales by a Force of girl scouts. I was to their site more than a dozen times, I read through their wiki article, I tried to find out wtf they do, no luck. It’s like an SCP monster that erases all prior knowledge of it you had the moment you stop looking. They played everyone for absolute fools.
CRM as a service with a fucking ton of whatever dumb bullshit they think they might be able to sell you on top
the CRM as a service bit more or less works? probably? with work at your end? We use it at the day job and it’s like better than not. It’s the ultimate boring-but-functional product for enterprises.
But invoices have to be for something, right? Like IBM has hardware and the best-in-industry vendor lock-in. My alma mater is going to be paying for that IBM Mainframe in the basement that runs the entire fucking school until the Sun itself abandons us.
No, invoices need to be for “something”. There are many, many businesses in this world that make constant bank on bullshit
Your alma mater isn’t paying megabux to support that mainframe itself, relative to IBM’s total income, but I bet you’d find many extras tacked on that make a significant contribution
The moment someone integrates Slack with Teams and Teams with Slack at the same time a black hole will engulf the Earth. This is the xrisk we should be worried about.
It doesn’t seem to be able to do anything that a GitLab instance can’t
i didn’t believe you, but yeah, just learned GitLab has a wiki editor. so yeah, this covers like 95% of the things i once used Notion for. i guess if i want to be pedantic, Notion had database relations between tables that, as the name implies, allowed it to act a bit like an relational database. (e.g. allowing columns of tables to be limited to the values of rows of other tables). admittedly a little cool but in my experience was not much more useful than a simple table
this is funny to me because it took Notion until https://www.notion.so/releases/2021-11-16 to introduce simple, non-database tables (since the database tables were often large, unwieldy, and introduced way too much overhead to just write a simple rows-and-columns spreadsheet, something that’s been a thing in GitHub Flavored Markdown since at least 2009
thanks! I had to squeeze one out to avoid a whole year passing since my last blog post. Hopefully will keep 'em coming from here on. Settled nicely in Amsterdam now
that’s correct. faw for faster and worse. I keep it in a public repo if you’re interested. (I don’t maintain it like a public repo, though. so lemme know if you have questions) github.com/stevesydney/faw
I can’t help think of this song whenever I hear about the day’s new tech product that has the potential to change the worldwww.youtube.com/watch?v=3BngCSGJJNo
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