"Here's a new keyboard that meets most of your specific requirements!"
She* said.
"You should order it."
She said.
"Little did she know the yak-shaving, can of worms, mountain of complications cascade that would ensue".
[ * She is me.
Boyf needed a new PC keyboard and between USB standards/power outputs, exotic Linux requirements, macro/keybindings, and uhm copious KVM usage - things got real messy real fast.. ]