Just making sure that I correctly understood your request...
>Give me backup tips like I just lost all my data and you want to rub it in
You mean like the time I arrived on a client site to find that a second HDD on the Sun Enterprise Server Solaris box in the RAID 5 Array had failed, yet they chose to run the machine in that degraded state w/o calling me to simply plugin a hotswap drive and rebuild the array before the second drive failed?
Or maybe when I told them, no problem, I'll just rebuild a fresh array from scratch, and then just run a full restore from the previous night's DLT tape?
Or perhaps when I saw that look in their eyes and they admitted that they hadn't been swapping tapes each night for about three or four months?
Their CFO looked at me as if everything was still going to be okay (Coz I'm a fucking Rock God) and said: "Well, we've never had a problem before." to which I did my best to respond without letting loose a condescending gufaw....