InevitableSwing

InevitableSwing, 22 days ago

From Bluesky

Definitely don’t squash dissent. Flatten, maybe. Perhaps squeeze. Maybe quell. But definitely not squash.

InevitableSwing, 23 days ago

“Mr. President… Um… Ah… I strongly suggest you do not wear those shorts to the Almost Summer Get Out the Youth Vote! rally.”

“I know - I know. Some of my aides think it’s not presidential for me to show my bare old legs to America. But the old dogs are like me. They need some sun and I want reach out to the young folks and they show lots of skin. Trust me - I look at them. A lot. Tan. Firm. Young. Soft. Tan. Very tan. The tan girls with their taunt young sweet—”

“We feel your American flag shorts are are not appropriate.”

“I heard all the complaints. But America needs me. She needs me. And I need her. I love America. We all gotta love America. Like we did before. Before. You. know. when? Strom Thurmond as a man… was a man…” he trials off into unintelligibility and gibberish for about 10 seconds. He snaps back “He loved America too!”

“We also feel beyond the flag problem there’s another problem… It’s a delicate problem… I don’t know how to… What I mean—”

“Get to the point. Speak clearly. Out with it. Now.”

"Well… They look like… diapers."

The next day the president goes out in his flag diaper shorts and with literally less than a minute #BidenFlagDiapers has been created. By the end of the hour it’s trending. Within about a week Biden’s poll numbers have fallen 10% and pundits are demanding an immediate reboot to save his dying campaign.

InevitableSwing, 22 days ago

And then he goes into the Lincoln Bedroom for a nighty-night tryst with the First Lady - if you know what I mean.

NSFW / NSFLJill purrs as President Daddy takes out his enormous, prehensile cock— I tried but I couldn’t go there. Too Biden. Too strong. Too much. I could blackout.

InevitableSwing, 23 days ago

Are these Tesla guys really oblivious to the fact that there are ~3,500 of them driving in their crunks functioning as moving billboards for a Nazi billionaire.

InevitableSwing, 22 days ago

Questions for science

I wonder if Tesla has a unsecured plaintext file somewhere of Cybertruck owners. Or using a cellphone - how long does it take to copy 3,500 list items on paper?

InevitableSwing, 23 days ago

That would be perfect for them.

-–

TRUMP WAS REELECTED. IMPORTANT EMAIL YOU MUST READ!

Restoring Roe? Look, we had a plan but you idiots didn’t vote hard enough and we can’t do it.

Doing anything positive about anything? Elections have consequences. Everything good in congress is already DOA because you idiots made TFG president again.

Do not forget that there’s also the Republican justice “veto”.

Sorry not-sorry but we must lurch to right so we can reach out to the all-important “won’t vote for us anyway” demographic.

You stopped a kind, decent man from being president for a second term. You even made him cry. Are you proud of yourselves?

[Video embed of President Biden crying]

By the way - we’re going to continue to be highly active on our Restoring Roe plans. Restoring Roe is an important tool in our campaigning and fundraising arsenal quiver.

Flashing [Donate] button

InevitableSwing, 23 days ago

“The kids will get over the end of the Tiktok. I know because I’ve been around…” 𝙿𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎. 𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚝. “Around…” 𝙿𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎. 𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚝."Around a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a…" 𝙿𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎. 𝚂𝚞𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚝. “Around a while.”

InevitableSwing, 23 days ago

look at this fuckin buffet line of wife beaters. i hope they all get bowel cancer from their ruths chris steak house gift cards

InevitableSwing, 23 days ago

Gonna be real weird in two weeks when the NYT goes back to covering how college campuses are uncomfortable with debate.

InevitableSwing, 25 days ago

Can’t wait for the endless think pieces about how young people are conservative

Oh, god. The NYT all by itself will publish scores of op-eds, think pieces, and even articles “explaining” the phenomenon. And all them will be high up on the homepage.