arianesherine

arianesherine, 13 days ago to random

This is my first ever ghostwritten article - a lovely man approached me on Twitter and asked me to cover myself in custard! I declined, but asked if I could tell his story in Metro. (Pic of Nigella covered in salted caramel on the cover of Stylist to brighten your day!) Here's the Metro piece: 'I pay women £100 a week to pour custard on themselves. I'm a splosher' https://metro.co.uk/2024/05/11/pay-women-100-a-week-pour-custard-im-a-splosher-20788850/

arianesherine, 6 months ago to random

Seven years ago today!

arianesherine, 6 months ago to random

"A journo told me he once pitched a piece called 'In praise of pooing' to a comment section, and the editor told him in horror, 'That’s disgusting!'"

My piece on why the freedom of writing for Substack is refreshing after more than 20 years in journalism.

https://arianesherine.substack.com/p/why-substack-is-more-fun-than-writing

arianesherine, 7 months ago to random

I wrote a hilarious blog post about how, despite allegedly being a 'successful writer', I'm actually skint and eating out of bins. I've also listed everything I've ever earned, so no one will want to hire me now, compounding the problem. Life is fun! https://arianesherine.substack.com/p/everything-ive-ever-learned-from

arianesherine, 7 months ago to random

OK, my day got better. £57.88 royalty statement from the Authors' Licensing and Collecting Society.

Amused that they've put Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps down as an 'educational recording'. To be fair, that particular episode did demonstrate how to wank yourself thin!

A whopping 4p from books, which is marginally better than a kick in the fanny. What can you buy with 4p these days? A single Tic Tac?

arianesherine, 8 months ago to random

12yo is so ridiculously badass it’s untrue.

Street preacher in Stratford, booming into her ears with a megaphone: You have one life! If you don’t love Jesus, where will you go after that?

12yo (deadpan): Into the ground. I’ll biodegrade and go into the soil, grass will grow, a cow will eat it and someone will eat the cow!

arianesherine, 8 months ago to random

The thing about Mastodon is that I haven't quite got my head around the fediverse. For instance (pun intended), I can only see posts from mastodon.social, which is my own instance... how do I see others?

I think this puts non-techy people like me off a bit, because unlike on other social networks, you have to choose an instance. People don't understand that, and they also don't like choice. Perhaps foolishly, I prefer the networks where everyone is in the same place and you can see them all!

arianesherine, 8 months ago to random

I kept being bitten by mosquitoes all summer. I think the little fuckers have gone now, it's too cold for them, but I was constantly itching and scratching.

So I started singing a catchy song which went: 'Oh-oh, it's a mosquito, it's a mosquito, and it's eating my toe-oh-oh...'

I was surprised at how decent the tune was.

I said to my 12-year-old daughter, 'That's actually a good tune.'

She rolled her eyes and replied, 'Yes, so maybe save it for something better than a stupid mosquito song!'

arianesherine, 10 months ago to random

It’s fair to say I still don’t understand cricket! #theashes