When I speak, unless I’m sharing the screen I always keep looking at myself. It’s kind of strange – it clearly does not match a real-world conversation, but somehow I can’t help it....
I just love looking at myself I think I’m great haha I also like to make sure that my facial expressions are matching my inside emotions …a lot of the time they are and I like the reassurance of that… I also like to practice facial expressions and then look at myself to make sure I’m executing them correctly. But mostly I just like my face and what it does haha
From where their eyes are pointing I can only tell whether or not they’re looking at the camera, but if they are looking elsewhere, I have no way of knowing if that other place is my face or theirs or anything else (even outside scope of the talk – it could be a bug crawling on their desk for all I know).
who knows if it makes me look better or like a weirdo…
both. I’ve recently realized that during our 1on1 calls my boss is “looking at me”, which always made me feel more listened, overall better.
I mentioned that on a different, informal call, like, “are you using some tricks…” and he told us he’s doing no tricks, it’s just that the camera happens to be close enough to the screen where he places the call window, and that’s a laptop which is far enough that the angular difference is negligent. So that made him look better.
(And I think it’s even better than looking at the camera; he was kinda looking at both, me & the camera.)
But I suspect that this can bite back quickly if you’re in a meeting with several people and say, for a minute you (say, Alex) are exchanging ideas with one person, say, Bob while others (Cathy, Dan) are listening. The weird part is that in Bob, Cathy and Dan’s visual experience you’re directly looking at them, which will seem natural to Bob, but strange to to Cathy and Dan since they know you’re talking to Bob right now so why the heck you keep peeking at them for so long, as if you want them to jump in to the convo or something…
If the situation was similar as I’ve described for my boss (smaller screen, further away), then it can even be affected by the way Cathy and Dan’s videos are arranged on your screen. Not all are going to be closest to the camera, only the closest one to the camera could feel an eye contact, but that’s not going to change according to who you are talking to. (There could be some technology or call UI design to help with that…)
Overall, I think with some video-calling experience people will generally adapt for the situation over time, but it may differ individually…
M49, I tend to go a bit long between haircuts which is on me, but I seem to have a really hard time explaining that I want short hair, like 20mm / 3/4"...
maybe I’m too much of an engineering brain, but I just want to cry when they put fingers in my hair and ask “about this long”?
Like, I know it’s not a rocket science but come on, that’s like 800% error bar.
Once, a lady had enough emotional intelligence to explain herself whether she meant “cut above the finger” or “leave below the finger”. I will never go to any other hairdresser (luckily she’s much younger than me so we could actually pull it off). I ain’t got time for these axe throwers.
forget the hair, but the questions must be precise and well-formed :D
seriously (ish), if the hairdresser holds my hair 2cm away from the skin and asks if this length is ok, and their finger is like 2cm thick, i don’t know if they mean 2 or 4.
Okay this is gonna be the last thing I say on this - a lot of the struggle that women today face comes from the idea that women only exist in relation to something or someone else, like children or a partner.
The thing is, in so many ways we all only exist in relation to each other. So you’re on to something, not necessarily exclusive to sex or gender, but yes that part is hard. And much worse because it also means that others are going to try and shape that relation and the power is barely ever balanced. It does help to realize that not all people are like that, but these things are really knowable, and everyone’s situation is unique.
Eg, your role is to start a family, wear makeup and take care of your appearance so that you are perceived as attractive and therefore valued
Honestly, that part is infuriating to me as well. and I hate what it does to women. My personal feelings about what makes a woman attractive / free are my own, but I find it somewhat offensive how boldly people make assumptions about it and even start to normalize or ostracize others for following standards.
Not sure if we can do about it in general, but I do appreciate people who don’t just bow down to the masses.
Every time I try to understand how forces which hold atoms and molecules together work, I find myself wanting to ask this question: why not the other way around? Could there be an atom which has electrons and neutrons inside, and protons outside?...
Thing is, trying to do a complete swap, there’s a point when the thought experiment kinda eats itself: you end up with a universe which is exactly the same, except the words “proton” and “neutron” are swapped.
I have noticed that some CAPTCHA pages, like Cloudflare’s, simply ask you to check a box to proceed. There is no clicking on traffic lights or entering characters. How does clicking on a check box tell them I am not a robot?
Remember, it’s not about filtering out robots, it’s about filtering out dangerous (as in spam, malware, etc.) things.
I mean, If you’re reeeeeeally good and reeeeeeally precise and reeeeally fast … then maybe you’re as dangerous as the robot. Maybe it’s just safer to keep you out. 🙃
We all love FOSS. Lately, many of us have expressed their disarray at hearing stories of maintainers quitting due to a variety of factors. One of these is financial....
I would not say “not believe too much in your efforts”, I think the tendency to simply scale down enthusiasm can be toxic in its own way.
I like to remind myself of how Václav Havel said it:
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Yes, being enthusiastic about false goals can lead to devastating results. Being hopeful by realizing that your work does make sense even if you won’t necessarily see results of it, that’s much more sustainable source of motivation.
Also, remember that no matter how it turns out you will learn something on the path. If anything, this is one of the “certain” parts.
When you are on a videocall do you also keep looking at your own thumbnail video?
When I speak, unless I’m sharing the screen I always keep looking at myself. It’s kind of strange – it clearly does not match a real-world conversation, but somehow I can’t help it....
Does anyone speak hairdresser? I need help communicating.
M49, I tend to go a bit long between haircuts which is on me, but I seem to have a really hard time explaining that I want short hair, like 20mm / 3/4"...
When did breasts become a thing that needed to be concealed in public and why?
Why is ocean fertilization not taken more seriously as a climate change solution?
Protons inside, electrons outside. But why not the other way around?
Every time I try to understand how forces which hold atoms and molecules together work, I find myself wanting to ask this question: why not the other way around? Could there be an atom which has electrons and neutrons inside, and protons outside?...
xkcd #2898: Orbital Argument (imgs.xkcd.com)
xkcd.com/2898...
How do CAPTCHAs work without giving you a challenge task?
I have noticed that some CAPTCHA pages, like Cloudflare’s, simply ask you to check a box to proceed. There is no clicking on traffic lights or entering characters. How does clicking on a check box tell them I am not a robot?
Love FOSS and want to donate? Here's how we can do it
We all love FOSS. Lately, many of us have expressed their disarray at hearing stories of maintainers quitting due to a variety of factors. One of these is financial....
Why do people wear shoes inside the house?
OC Czech heatmap 🇨🇿