It’s sort of my transition YOLO. An imperative to trust myself when I’m not sure about, well, everything.
It’s a reminder I transitioned because it felt right, not because it made logical sense. So when logic shows up to say “Umm, actually your outfit might not be totally appropriate. A cis woman might…” I can quiet that voice with trust in myself.
I got here by trusting my feelings, not logic. So I ask myself what feels right. And then I wear the dress.
Sometimes I feel like nothing has changed since transitioning. And then sometimes I look at an old picture of me next to a recent one and think “nothing has changed” because my brain is still very broken. Send help.
@bumpus gurl. GURL. You look nothing like him anymore! I wouldn't even guess he was your brother! Tell your brain it is silly and needs to stop being so silly at you.
@bumpus This is absolutely the case! We care about ourselves and start to recognize our needs and worth, and we start setting boundaries and care what other people do to us. It is a huge shift and people can feel like we're getting outraged over nothing because it was nothing before we cared about ourselves.
It's a good thing and will make your life bigger and more whole in the long run, but I'm here in solidarity as someone who went through it to as you travel over this bumpy, gravel road of emotions :QueerCatHeart_Trans:
One year ago I stepped outside as Nora for the first time, to attend a small local parade. I was so nervous and uncertain, just a few months into my surprise gender journey.
This year I returned to the parade so much more confident in the person I’m becoming. Now I’m practically reveling in the uncertainty of the future, because whatever happens, I get to meet it as my true self.
@bumpus gurl, this is so heartbreaking and i wish i could hug you until you could let yourself have it. 🫂🫂🫂🫂
Voice is so challenging. Some of us adapt well and connect with the vocal skills, some find it a heck of a lot harder, but ypu still deserve to be gendered correctly and feel euphoric. And i guarentee you that at least among us transfems, we'll still hear the fem in your voice and see you, no matter what. :BlobhajTransPrideHeart:
@JoscelynTransient How you describe your name reminds me of kintsugi, which in this random internet photo below is also called kintsukuroi. Your repaired name is more beautiful and unique than the original.
Living as a trans woman requires so much more courage than my privileged male cis-het life ever did. (*)
If you know any trans folks, especially ones early in transition, please encourage them and lift them up. It is so damn hard and scary sometimes.
I think about what @siege said often, because it takes courage to live in a world that is often indifferent or hostile to my existence and these words give me courage. #trans#transgender
Most days I am filled with joy for the future I get to have as Nora, as my happy, awake and alive and transitioning true self.
Other days I am filled with sadness for the life not lived. The girlhood I’ll never have. The experiences missed. The opportunities to that passed me by and will never, ever come back.
Last year at this time I knew I was trans but was having trouble picking a new name. It was 1 year ago today when @Impossible_PhD nudged me to choose from my heart rather than my head. And so I went with Nora, and I have not regretted it one bit. Happy name day to me!