Google announces plan to shove AI into all its products then eventually remove AI from all its products (www.thebeaverton.com)
Doug Ford denounces university encampments after mistaking tents for affordable housing (www.thebeaverton.com)
Seinfeld slams woke student audiences: “Back when I dated high school girls, they found me hilarious!” (www.thebeaverton.com)
HOLLYWOOD – With his Netflix comedy film Unfrosted debuting to abysmal reviews, 70-year-old comedian Jerry Seinfeld blames the failure on “extreme left, and PC college campus audiences”, unlike in his heyday, when the teenage girls he dated were fans of his comedy.
American 18-year-olds stoked to vote in last presidential election (www.thebeaverton.com)
FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their lifetimes....
Everything freedom loving Conservatives have banned Canadians from doing in recent years (www.thebeaverton.com)
Ford doubles down on refusal to build fourplexes until someone explains to him what they are (www.thebeaverton.com)
read more: thebeaverton.com/…/ford-doubles-down-on-refusal-t…
Sam Bankman-Fried’s cellmate sentenced to 25 years stuck with guy who won’t shut up about crypto (www.thebeaverton.com)
Newly discovered cave paintings indicate early humans were stick men (www.thebeaverton.com)
Law & Order Toronto criticized as unrealistic after showing Toronto Police trying to solve crimes (www.thebeaverton.com)
Conservative pundit decries rising divorce rate in his house (www.thebeaverton.com)
OTTAWA – Right wing pundit and columnist Hank Vrinden has entered into the increasingly heated conversation among conservative activists and commentators about the breakdown of traditional family values, in a recent column decrying the rising divorce rate in his house....
“I didn’t get that job because I have a dick!” says man who just is a dick (www.thebeaverton.com)
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Alberta to opt out of pharmacare, renewable energy, the wheel (www.thebeaverton.com)
Poilievre says “female spaces” should be reserved for “biological females” and “the men who control them” (www.thebeaverton.com)
Malfunctioning embryo freezer charged with mass murder (www.thebeaverton.com)
HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder.
Collapsing Vice Media assures devastated journalists that upper level management will be fine (www.thebeaverton.com)
Ukrainian Military Discovers Canadian "Drones" are Just Old Sea Kings with GoPros Taped On (www.thebeaverton.com)
cross-posted from !theonion
Russian autopsy shows Navalny locked self in Siberian gulag, poisoned self (www.thebeaverton.com)
“MOSCOW – Officials from the Kremlin, under the close supervision of Russian President Vladimir Putin, have concluded an autopsy of Alexei Navalny, concluding that the recently-deceased opposition leader spontaneously sentenced himself to 30 years in a remote Siberian gulag before then ingesting his own poison that he...
Following fraud judgement, Trump offers followers chance to pay $355mil for one night of passion with Eric (www.thebeaverton.com)
Nova Scotians celebrate annual Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day (www.thebeaverton.com)
Alberta premier Marlaina Smith bans kids from going by their preferred name (www.thebeaverton.com)
Alberta premier Marlaina Smith bans kids from going by their preferred name (www.thebeaverton.com)
International Court of Justice rules that Israel must bomb civilians more humanely (www.thebeaverton.com)
Oscar the Grouch criticized for giving children unrealistic housing goals (www.thebeaverton.com)
The 9 people that own all of Toronto’s real estate extremely upset about property tax hike (www.thebeaverton.com)
TORONTO – Reacting to news of Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s plan to hike property taxes by more than 10%, the 9 or so people that collectively own all Toronto real estate expressed outrage, saying that Chow is making the city unaffordable....