theonion

HOLLYWOOD – With his Netflix comedy film Unfrosted debuting to abysmal reviews, 70-year-old comedian Jerry Seinfeld blames the failure on “extreme left, and PC college campus audiences”, unlike in his heyday, when the teenage girls he dated were fans of his comedy.

“We watch Bluey every week as a family, and I tell you, when Bandit sat Bluey down to explain to her that what she saw was just him and Mum doing something the therapist made them promise they’d do every Sunday night at precisely 7:30 p.m., I teared up,”

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AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “As we continue to rightsize the Tesla workforce, we have come to the decision that stopping the car is no longer a critical...

NEW YORK—Emphasizing that it was their only option amid the rampant protests that had erupted on campus, Columbia University announced Monday that it had given students the option to finish classes from prison....

FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their lifetimes....

The ever-unpredictable Joe Rogan Experience shattered another mold this week, welcoming its youngest guest ever: 9-year-old Alec Jones, a fourth grader from Austin, Texas. The episode, which aired yesterday, left audiences both amused and bewildered as Rogan delved into topics including ancient archeology, memories of the Comedy...

New York - Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a peaceful protester at Columbia University…

via Bluesky