What silly inconvinient stuff would you outlaw if you could?
I’d outlaw sauce bottles which make getting it all out harder, especially the ones which don’t have the opening at the bottom and make it impossible to put the bottle with the opening facing downwards.
Oh, I would require measurements in inches (or cm) of waist, hip, rise, inseam for women’s pants. You cannot just call it a “6” or whatever, I am outlawing those sizes.
Since you said silly and inconvenient I’ll keep from more serious propositions and say:
App/login pestering. Large fines for each individual exposed to it. Even most corporations would hesitate to do it.
Also every narrative work (book/movie/game/comic/whatever) would have to have a legally registered “estimated number of installments” with a set ending written the moment it gets published. Going past the limit and publishing more installments to that media would incur fines that would start high, and grow by powers of ten with every extra installment.
You wrote a trilogy of movies with a nice satisfying ending? Good good. Enjoy making money off of it. But if you make a sequel or prequel you’ll have to pay 1 billion dollars. Extended universe? Ten billion. One hundred billion. A trillion.
Gonna be honest, a system that governs narrative works sounds like something from an orwellian dystopia, in which, ironically, the protagonist would publish a story, do a follow up because of public demand and end up being executed behind the chemical shed
Reading the comments, smiling at the fact that so much people complaining about is already illegal here and not a problem.
Personally. I’d make it illegal to start small talk about the fucking weather. I can see that’s raining too. Yes that is annoying. Haha, no I won’t put shampoo in my hair on my way home. I don’t know when it will stop. Do I look like a meteorologist?
I toss it in the recycling bin on the way back to the house. My sister’s ex used to obsess over it, though, and put it in a pile to be shredded. Then he never shredded it. His home office was a hoarders nest with yellowing junk mail everywhere.
Bikes on the road. I’m sorry, but y’all belong on the sidewalk, as much as joggers belong on the sidewalk. Going a little faster than walking does not make you a vehicle. Not the kind of vehicle we built all these roads for.
You want downtown flattened from storefront to storefront, with gardens down the middle, a 5mph speed limit, and the whole thing treated like a crosswalk? Great, fantastic, go for it. But anywhere there’s four lanes and a speed limit over 30, you go on the raised path to the side, with all the other people who struggle to hit 10.
Not trivial, but health care providers should be forced to publish an easily accessible price list of all their services and procedures so we can comparison-shop. I’m so sick of being told I can’t know the price until they find out what insurance will pay.
Theoretically that’s already a thing, but much like with ISPs consumer guide labels or other transparency obligations having it on page 42 of your website that you have to navigate to through some crazy path is considered good enough.
Take the bottle in your hand such that the cap is close to your index finger and thumb and the bottom of the bottle is across from the on your palm. Grab it tight and make sure the cap is on tight. Then use your whole arm to swing the bottle. You want to hold it in front of you and with a lot of force (don’t let go, lol) swing it downwards, passing your hips. Use your shoulder a bit, but mostly your elbow joint for movement. Put as much speed into the movement as you can. Repeat five times. The centrifugal force will push the content of the bottle towards the cap. Then you can squirt out the remaining sauce, or take off the cap with all remaining sauce on there e.g. ketchup is non-liquid enough to stay on the cap pretty good.
No longer will that fucking line up for coffee reach down the road and over the horizon in the morning. The sitting there for twenty minutes, idling your car as you watch the person in front of you park in the middle of the intersection like an asshole. No.
Go, park, use the magic of being a biped.
Now there’s no excuse. You either drink the coffee at work, or face that Starbucks barista you know secretly hates you. Biped your way in the door, get your morning fix with confidence because fuck mark, no barista is going to ruin your day.
Not while I’m there banning drive throughs to ruin it for you.
Edit: Barista. I don’t even know what a batista is but could potentially be a bad ass.
Thru is a word only in the sense that kleen, kwik, kut, tuff, chik, nite, lite, tho, etc are words. It’s called cacography or eye dialect and is the result of marketing and advertising agencies not being able to copyright common phrases. When the terms enter colloquial language, they’re still used but not copyrighted as the incorrect spelling still draws your attention.
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