Pentagon to MAGA world: You need to calm down over Taylor Swift

National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.

The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”

CharlesDarwin,
@CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world avatar

The Qtards should be treated like Al Qaeda or ISIL operating in the United States. All their communications should be monitored. They should be infiltrated and any time one of them make threats or start making plans to do anything illegal, as many as possible are arrested, locked up and embroiled in the justice system as much as possible - prison time, time in court, etc.

NotMyOldRedditName,

Just count any retweet, thumbs up etc to the threats and you’ll round up thousands at a time I bet.

Agent641,

The FBI doesn’t have jurisdiction in Russia tho

TengoDosVacas,

Or just declare them as the Clear And Present Danger that they are and treat them exactly how union labor was treated by the military and East Indian Fruit Company

psycho_driver,

Why not just give them the Al Qaeda or ISIL treatment and send a drone to blow up their house?

TengoDosVacas,

Some would say “what about innocent bystanders in the house?” but the chances of others in the household not being exactly the same are miniscule

phx,

Some of them very likely are foreign intelligence operatives attempting to influence locally.

GladiusB,
@GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

There are more incidents of them killing innocents over dumb conspiracies. Like that son and his dad being beheaded.

HawlSera,

?

arefx,

Tey could have just left it at “you need to calm down”

crystalmerchant,

MAGA world to Pentagon: la la la la la la la la la neener neener neeeeeener la la la la

vexikron,

And here we again run into the fundamental problem with the alternative facts crowd:

Whats being said here is factually true, and not really controversial…

…Unless youre a Q Brained MAGAtard.

When you look at it from their point if view?

This is more evidence they are correct.

These people are violent, anti democratic, basically cannot be reasoned with, and there are a /lot/ of them.

This situation does not have a comfortable solution.

Ensign_Crab,

The Pentagon knows it can’t handle the wrath of angry Swifties.

Nurse_Robot,

This feels like one of those things /b/ started as a joke, and a few echo chambers took it seriously, and the media assumed or “assumed” it was far more widespread than it was. At least, I hope so

FenrirIII,
@FenrirIII@lemmy.world avatar

Trump’s massive inferiority complex and narcissism is also driving it

MaxPow3r11,

I feel like this is how a lot of stuff starts these days. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a “psy op” (possibly created by actual children).

NegativeInf,

At work I have a regular that comes into the office and she spouts conspiracies like these and started talking about Taylor Swift vaccines and the deep state in the last week or so, so there are definitely a few true believers.

Nurse_Robot,

Oh no doubt, no matter how insane sounding there will be believers. It’s almost always related to undiagnosed or unmedicated mental disorders with delusions as a symptom. It’s really sad that we don’t prioritize mental health more in this country.

NegativeInf,

This woman is like 75 years old, lives in a van from '89, gets healthcare from her father being in the military or something based on what she says. She definitely has undiagnosed schizophrenia based on the way she acts and the bits of past she gives out. I feel bad for her, but she comes in, destroys our bathrooms to take a shower, then when she gets barred from using our restrooms, gets upset claiming she has no memory of causing the mess and tells us she will have to inform her doctors if that’s the case. It seems all the more tragic that she lives this way but has access to the things that could help her, but chooses not to. She says she lives in the van to save money, but she has a full retirement account. There’s a military base with her father’s name on it.

Everyday, someone new is out to get her. Government, vaccines, Democrats, CNN, George Soros. The right has effectively weaponized mental illness on a national scale.

dipshit,

Damn Taylor. TIL

TheLowestStone,
@TheLowestStone@lemmy.world avatar

Taylot Swift vaccines

These will never work. She’s just too infectious.

MegaUltraChicken,

You just gotta shake it off. (Yes, I hate myself)

psycho_driver,

That pun. I knew you were trouble when you walked in.

ShellMonkey, (edited )
@ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com avatar

You took the words right out of my neurolink embedded keyboard…

This really is one of the most amusing panics they’ve had in recent years.

Jimmyeatsausage,

Until someone shoots up a concert again

ShellMonkey,
@ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com avatar

Well sure if you want to take morbid reality into account. Yet they wonder why people call for gun laws when nutcases pull things like that.

Buddahriffic,

“They are trying to take away our right to shoot up a concert!” -Q cultists probably

TurtleJoe,
@TurtleJoe@lemmy.world avatar

There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take. Now you have legalized sports gambling everywhere, with non-stop ads, and official NFL partnerships. Combine that with dozens of hyper slo-mo cameras covering every angle when a ref misses a call, and the conspiracy that the NFL is rigged has become more common the last two years.

Without getting into how absolutely stupid that is, it’s only a few more leaps in logic to get to where they seem to be: they keep showing Swift during games, because her fans tune in to see her, ergo, they’ll want her to be on screen during the biggest have of the year! The NFL wants the Chiefs to go to the super bowl. (I bartend, and I’ve had non-maga people saying this to me.) Add in the paranoia that comes with facism, and boom, a new MAGA grand conspiracy is born.

S_204,

Listen, I’m a lifelong football player, coach and fan. If you’re trying to tell me the game isn’t rigged for the Chiefs to be in the Superbowl I’m telling you you’re the conspiracy Nutter!

Signed Your biggest Baltimore Ravens fan.

dhork,

There actually is a confirmed government plot to keep the Bills from winning the Super Bowl, though. It was confirmed in that documentary from the 90s, “The X-Files”.

S_204,

Oh fuck watching that FG go wide right the other week gave me flash backs to nam.

flicker,

Woof. I felt so bad for Flowers on 1/28. They kept zooming in on him when he was rattled and you could see how bad it was getting to him.

S_204,

He made rookie mistakes after not playing like a rookie all season. The offense shit the bed the second half, wasn’t just one guy Flowers doesn’t deserve as much hate as he’s getting. Deserves a good share though.

psycho_driver,

There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take.

It doesn’t help that this has actually happened though like with the NBA in the late 90s/early aughts.

DogWater,

The entire alt right movement was exactly that. It was a joke on b that did this.

Like I used to think that enders game was stupid when it came to the weird internet forum starting a movement and influencing politics but that has literally happened in real life lol

Olhonestjim,

Except that in Ender’s Game they used weird internet forums to actually improve public discourse and awareness.

betterdeadthanreddit,

Reality turns out to be much dumber than fiction sometimes. I’d say often but there’s a lot of porn.

DogWater,

Sure but what’s your point? I’m saying it was weird to me that the author thought that was realistic or possible. And it happened in real life, proving that it was possible lol

Olhonestjim,

Oh, I read Enders Game in high school and took the opposite view from you. I believed that the Internet would raise public discourse by elevating intelligence and empathy over our baser instincts. Then we all, including me, proved that wrong.

Optimist, I guess. Not sure what to do with that side of me now.

bAZtARd,

Right? I remember when the_Donald started on reddit, I thought it was hilarious and just people making fun of Trump and behaving like over the top cultists. And in the beginning it obviously was only just a joke. And then it got real and people really thought what was written there was the truth. People for banned and an echo chamber formed.

Was it the same on /b/? Did anyone experience the same as me back then? I really wanna know if all of this came from dumb internet humour…

DogWater,

I know people used to post the updates for Q on there. That’s why its called Qanon. Because the were from 4chan and the posts were anonymous.

betterdeadthanreddit,

I’m gripped by a strong urge to start anonymously sending some Taylor Swift / KC Chiefs merchandise to family members and acquaintances who have been guzzling the red-hat Flavor Aid for the last decade. It’s probably not the most productive use of time and money but this whole thing is just goddamn ridiculous.

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

There’s probably a Taylor Swift email notification service for upcoming concerts and such that you could sign them up for.

Free, and guaranteed to stir up the Trumpanzees in your life without putting a target on your own back.

betterdeadthanreddit,

Anonymous remailers exist, I’d just have to ship it to them in a package they could open and reseal before sending it on. There are some other rules involved as well, turns out there’s some risk of those being used for less than savory purposes.

ryannathans,

Does anyone actually know real people who believe any of this shit or is this just bots/media pushing a narrative

BassTurd,

I work with a couple people that I think may believe this. I haven’t specifically talked to them about this, but they believe they other conspiracy theory, so it would make sense. One is a flat Earther is that helps paint a picture.

ganksy,
@ganksy@lemmy.world avatar

Haven’t called my dad in a while but I’ll give him a ring today. He’s usually 100% on board with the mainstream maga garbage. I’ll update my comment after.

ryannathans,

Haha how’d that go

iquanyin,
@iquanyin@lemmy.world avatar

i do

MrPoopbutt,

Oh there are absolutely people who 100% believe this. This kind of shit is all I hear about whenever I talk to a lot of my family.

BartyDeCanter,

Yeah, and unfortunately I’m related to them. The maternal side of my family has pretty much split in two and aren’t talking to the other half nowadays because of shit like this.

lennybird, (edited )
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

I remember remarking over the last couple months how Swift’s rise to superstar this past year could have a real impact on Voter turnout. I was hoping she’d pop into the political sphere and boy, Republicans just made sure she will lol.

Edit: Okay, calm down. Sure absolutely she’s been a superstar for years, but nobody can deny she jumped to whatever the next level is called this past year. She went from another highly successful pop star a la Lady Gaga or Katie Perry to literally the most successful of all time to the point where she inundates my feeds (pre-recent politics news) where no other pop star does.

Case In Point

SoylentBlake,

She’s been a superstar a whole lot longer than this past year.

She became a billionaire in the past year. You know how hard that is to do as an artist? She’s been at this a minute. Like 2 decades of superstar minutes.

lennybird,
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

Sure absolutely, but nobody can deny she jumped to whatever the next level is called this past year. She went from another highly successful pop star a la Lady Gaga or Katie Perry to literally the most successful of all time to the point where she inundates my feeds (pre-recent politics news) where no other pop star does.

Zorque,

I'll deny it. She's stayed pretty consistent, just because other artists have waned in popularity doesn't mean she's somehow more.

lennybird,
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

Case In Point

By pretty much every metric in terms of search trends, sales, concert tickets… She’s above her past average.

I’ve seen no evidence provided by you to suggest otherwise.

SatansMaggotyCumFart,

That uptick was mostly because of the AI nudes.

the_q,

Oh please… Taylor Swift is an “artist” as much as I’m a world class chess grandmaster.

Apparently billionaires should not exist… Except for Taylor Swift.

thesporkeffect,

Billionaires shouldn’t exist but if one of them happens to use their ill gotten wealth to improve society, I don’t see why I should be mad?

the_q,

Taylor Swift is a prolific polluter.

Gosmire,

We should have her stay home and just do concerts from there. Let’s instead let 1000’s of fans get plane tickets and go see her instead.

the_q,

If missing the point was an Olympic sport you’d be a gold medalist for sure.

thesporkeffect,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0b4e02ff-205e-4cdb-9443-aaad1a9b78b2.jpeg

I don’t have the capacity to stop Peter Thiel or Elon musk from doing billionaire stuff. I also don’t have the capacity to stop Taylor Swift from doing billionaire stuff. I am going to feel positively toward positive social developments even if I am aware it’s not perfect.

Give me a button that deletes a random billionaire and I will fingerblast it until it breaks.

ramirezmike,

how is she not an artist?

the_q,

Everything about her is meticulously curated for optimal cash flow. Her music is written mostly by a literal team of professionals whose job it is to create the broadest appeal. She’s not an artist, she’s a product line.

SatansMaggotyCumFart,

That’s kind of sexist, dude.

the_q,

How?

SatansMaggotyCumFart,

… broadest appeal. She’s not an artist…

Do you figure she’s not an artist because she’s a broad?

Literally shaking right now from the pent up misogynist energy coming off your comment.

ramirezmike,

you seem to have a very biased perspective. even if that were true, isn’t she still a performance artist?

betterdeadthanreddit,

You’ve narrowed yourself down to one of 50ish people if you earned the title the same year her first album came out.

Draedron,

“This past year”? Did you live under a rock? She has been a superstar for a long time now.

lennybird,
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

In a way I have, and this proves my point:

Sure absolutely, but nobody can deny she jumped to whatever the next level is called this past year. She went from another highly successful pop star a la Lady Gaga or Katie Perry to literally the most successful of all time to the point where she inundates my feeds (pre-recent politics news) where no other pop star does.

Zorque,

So you see a couple articles and that "proves" that now she's a superstar?

I'd say that follows as much logic as the people touting that she's part of some liberal conspiracy.

lennybird,
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

Buddy, I think you’re taking this far too seriously.

carl_dungeon,

I’ve always known maga people are dumber than shit, but now they’re just running the world’s worst D&D session online and on Fox.

Ensign_Crab,

This looks like a job for a gazebo.

Deceptichum,
Deceptichum avatar

No, no, keep it up, get arrested for trying to do something and lose your voting rights

JohnnyCanuck,
@JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca avatar

I didn’t realize how much Fox News was involved with this. I guess Fox is back in with the MAGA crowd?

What they’re doing is very dangerous.

Empricorn,

Uh… what? Fox News is the biggest right-wing propaganda platform in the world and it (still) exists to influence opinion. They’ve hosted him and his sycophants and election-denyers, etc multiple times. They might have briefly looked into how to insulate themselves after paying out almost a billion dollars for lies, but they’re still all-in for Trump and the MAGA crowd, believe it…

JohnnyCanuck,
@JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca avatar

Well, I’m not American and I don’t watch Fox News, so I didn’t realize that they were the ones pushing this Taylor Swift conspiracy narrative. Also, it feels like it wasn’t that long ago that I heard MAGA was going to boycott Fox.

iquanyin,
@iquanyin@lemmy.world avatar

MAGA was also going to boycott the NFL…

Schmoo,

That was a thing for a bit because Fox walked back some of the more extreme narratives they pushed to shield themselves from legal liability. Some of the more extreme MAGA conspiracy nuts still swear off of Fox News in favor of Newsmax and OAN. My grandma is one of them; watched Fox News religiously all her life until 2021, when she switched to Newsmax, OAN, and various “prophets” who claim to have a direct line to God who tells them Trump is the second coming of Christ.

HonoraryMancunian,

shaking off

Heh

doublejay1999,

Imagine how they were rolling around the newsroom off of that zinger

surewhynotlem,

I’ve worked in the newsroom. And yeah, they do love a pun more than is healthy…

betterdeadthanreddit,

They didn’t even make it to the end of the headline before including one.

eddietrax,

MAGA crowd, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

PopcornPrincess,

That Billy Madison quote applies well here.

cheese_greater, (edited )

It should be set to music and become anthemic for them (or us i guess 🤣)

If we’re being super loose with it (and “we” are) you could literally use the opening theme for Billy Madison and it could sort of work out lol

How amazing would it be if they could get Biden or Dems in one chamber to say this to their repub terrorists?

MegaUltraChicken,

That Billy Madison quote applies well to pretty much anything conservatives say.

blanketswithsmallpox,

You could’ve just said incorrect…

Kase,

One might even say,
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/1e1b64b6-7453-41c3-bd71-f05907a2410b.webp

foggy,

When we look back on this era what are we going to say drove them to this? Like, we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating.

What is it now? Is TikTok this much of a problem? Is there ergot in the water? What the hell is happening…

Xbeam,

Maybe lead and micro-plastics? But that’s just a guess.

SharkAttak,
SharkAttak avatar

Lead in the water, micro plastics in the food, Reagan in the air.

foggy,

Plausible. It seems apparent that this is something that’s been introduced into basically all humans water supply in the last 50 years. I’m sure it’s been getting worse and worse as time has gone on, and it could be that we are at a critical mass where it is starting to affect behaviors en masse.

MegaUltraChicken,

Yeah “deliberately making ourselves too stupid to survive” sounds about right for some shit we’d pull off.

surewhynotlem,

Tiktok? If you find someone who isn’t a swifty on Tiktok, they probably won’t survive long.

This nonsense comes from Fox and truth social.

foggy,

Didn’t Andrew Tate rise on TikTok?

surewhynotlem,

I think he was YouTube. Tiktok is very short form content.

That said, the only time I’ve ever seen that guy’s face is in a mugshot, so I could be wrong.

SlopppyEngineer,

Possibly how all the different crises like inequality, climate, capitalism, pollution all converged. People sought quick solutions and some leaders gave them solutions that were ready, quick and wrong. Blaming others went to cult like heights. Until it all collapsed.

foggy,

All of these things contribute to it, yes, but I do think that there is a level of absurdity to what we are witnessing that is not adequately explained simply by coercion. Perhaps I’m wrong.

SlopppyEngineer,

Humans do whacky shit on a regular basis, certainly if they don’t really understand what’s going on. Cargo cults come to mind.

ImplyingImplications,

we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating

Witch trials were ways for powerful people to get rid of those who challenged the established system. These conspiracies are the same as they’ve always been.

Fox News leaders aren’t pushing these stories because they’re high. It’s because they’re billionaires who don’t want to lose their power and control. Just like in the time of witch trials, these powerful people are spreading fear, doubt, and confusion in order to distract the masses from giving too much attention to meddling people making troublesome arguments against the current system.

cedarmesa, (edited )
@cedarmesa@lemmy.world avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    DoctorWhookah,

    Is staring into the abyss similar to staring at an eclipse? Are these things related?

    Welt,

    It’s a Nietzsche reference

    betterdeadthanreddit,

    Nah, I’d say it has broad appeal.

    iquanyin,
    @iquanyin@lemmy.world avatar

    🤣🥰

    SoylentBlake,

    Nietzsche has some broad appeal, well, amongst those that read philosophy. You can’t get past the post-modernists without summiting that intellectual mountain. I suppose existentialism is somewhat Niche-ey…but what do I know, I read Zarathustra at 16. Ymmv

    iquanyin,
    @iquanyin@lemmy.world avatar

    it’s a pun, son

    Taleya,

    "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. "

    Basically : tread carefully on your crusade lest you become the thing you hate

    foggy,

    I mean, bro, we had fucking witch trials.

    Witch trials.

    We actually believed in witches and we burned people at the stake.

    This is not the most lunacy humanity has ever seen. Not by a long shot. It’s just the most lunacy that we’ve seen with modern tools to help suss that lunacy out.

    There is certainly an explanation for what’s going on. We just haven’t identified it.

    Viking_Hippie,

    We actually believed in witches and we burned people at the stake.

    Only a matter of time before the cult starts talking about publicly executing LGBTQ+ people and women who have had abortions or miscarriages. Possibly by burning them at the stake.

    SoylentBlake,

    Or federal employees…they’re also called the deep state.

    Where’d I hear that in the news recently?

    Viking_Hippie,

    A deranged MAGA cultist recently CUT OFF HIS DAD’S HEAD and posted about it online because of the dad apparently being a federal employee 😬

    I’d find you a link to an article about it but frankly I dread what other search results I’d get for THOSE keywords!

    foggy,

    I do not disagree. But we are not there yet, it has been crazier before. It does appear that we are on track, that’s why I’m so concerned and curious as to what the fuck is causing this shit, but we’re not there yet. Probably because of those modern tools that we have, I feel like if whatever is going on right now is going on in the 1700s we would be done for.

    winterayars,

    They joined the war on disease on the side of the disease. There’s nothing else to say, at that point. They are bereft of joy, logic, life, survival instinct, humanity, anything good you name it.

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