@Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Lumelore

@Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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18+ An nsfw thing is still happening even though I'm on E

So whenever I cum I still relate a whitish cum, I was kinda concerned and I believe it should be clear or non existent. Also my labito has been high. I’m on 0.30ml of estradiol cypinare once per week, I’m also on spiro but I’ve been off of a spiro due to a move and only recently restarted it. I’ve also been bad about...

Lumelore,
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That doesn’t seem abnormal to me. My T is below normal cis women levels and I recently had my e dose increased as I prefer it to be on the higher end, and I’ve noticed that increasing e dosage has increased libido for me. While it is common for trans women to have clear or non-existent ejaculate, some will still have whitish ejaculate. I don’t think whitish ejaculate is a cause for concern but if it is the color, consistency, and amount of pre-hrt ejaculate then it would be.

Lumelore,
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My egg cracking as far as I remember started as a very sudden out of the blue thought of “You’re a girl” while I was just sitting in class and that thought just kept repeating constantly in my head for weeks. It was so loud I could hardly think of anything else.

I was very confused and afraid about what it meant but I didn’t push it away and I spent a lot of time thinking about it and experimenting with my gender and about 1 month later I accepted myself as a trans woman.

I don’t remember thinking that I couldn’t be a trans woman, but I remember slowly edging towards it, and I first considered myself to be a femboy, then a demigirl, and then finally arriving at trans woman.

Lumelore,
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Genuinely what even is the difference between socialism and democratic socialism. I don’t get how one is leftist and the other is liberal.

Lumelore,
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I’ve never had a genital preference but for a long time I thought I was only attracted to women and I considered myself to be lesbian. However, after starting hormones I realized that I actually have no gender preference as well, but I still have a preference for people who are mostly feminine. Although it is just a preference and on rare occasion I will find a predominantly masculine person attractive as well. So now I consider myself to be pansexual instead.

Lumelore,
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Yeah that seems normal especially if they don’t have good insurance. I used to work at a pharmacy and I have seen plenty of insanely high drug prices. One time I saw someone getting charged a little over $4,000 for one prescription. That wasn’t estrogen though, I think it was something for cancer if I remember correctly.

What're some of the dumbest things you've done to yourself in Linux?

I’m working on a some materials for a class wherein I’ll be teaching some young, wide-eyed Windows nerds about Linux and we’re including a section we’re calling “foot guns”. Basically it’s ways you might shoot yourself in the foot while meddling with your newfound Linux powers....

Lumelore,
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  1. Have Nvidia card
  2. Change the driver to see if I can fix a weird graphical issue I was having.
  3. Rebooted computer and got stuck in boot loop because there was an error with the driver.
Lumelore, (edited )
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Pretty great! I’m at 9 months HRT, and in the last few weeks I’ve gotten my legal name changed, gotten my ears pierced, and had my e dose increased. I’m also getting better at using my femme voice but I still struggle a little bit with using it in public.

Lumelore,
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Thanks for helping out Keris! I’m very glad she found a safe place to stay. I live in Minnesota too but I don’t have the means to help much and I was really worried about her so I’m glad to hear she’s doing well!

Lumelore,
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Up until I realized that I am trans, I always felt really awkward going into the men’s restroom. I would always check the signs like 5 times and then I’d go in, see the urinals, and still feel like I was somehow in the wrong place.

I also hated having my top off, and I rarely swam until I discovered rash guards. In middle school we were required to do swimming for gym and they didn’t allow me to wear my rash guard and I felt so embarrassed the entire time.

Lumelore,
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Congrats on using the women’s restroom for the first time! I know it takes a lot of courage, and the first time I did my mother and sister went with just in case there were problems, and it was still quite nerve wracking because there were a lot of other women in there too.

Spiro is indeed a bitch sometimes lol. I appreciate that it blocks my T, but damn does it makes me have to piss a lot. I can’t wait to get an orchi some day lol.

Lumelore,
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I don’t think I’ve ever felt that the way a specific emotion manifested was masculine or feminine, but since starting HRT 8 months ago, I do feel a lot more free to express myself. I cry easier and I tend to not get as angry anymore. I’ve gotten significantly more social and I smile more often as well. And overall, I feel like I’m living my own life now and not someone else’s.

I know I used to repress myself from expressing certain emotions beforehand. Perhaps that’s kinda what you are feeling? Which, starting HRT did help me break down some of the mental barriers I had surrounding those emotions.

Lumelore, (edited )
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Multiple of these points here do remind me of myself. Before I started questioning my gender many years ago, I felt like I had to be hyper-masculine, although being hyper-masculine made me feel depressed. I think it was because deep down I felt feminine yet society was telling me otherwise so I felt I needed to overcompensate masculinity to cancel out the femininity. I think that if I didn’t have this hyper-masculinity, I would have realized that I am trans a lot sooner.

During this point in my life, I was so depressed I could hardly function. I got put on anti-depresants and I was happy for about 2 months. Then I went back to school in the fall and I started getting depressed again. It was then that I realized that I was envious of women and that it was making me depressed. Not long after that realization I started expirementing with my gender and I noticed that it was making me very happy and that being masculine was making me depressed so that is what led me to conclude that I am trans. Many years later and I am on HRT and I’ve never been happier.

Honestly I think the barrier to you not being able to draw yourself is that you are not ready to accept yourself as potentially being trans. Being trans, especially at first is very scary. There are so many new things to familiarize yourself with and on top of that you have to deal with people potentially being dickheads. Coming out is like taking a leap of faith, and hopefully you have supportive friends and family who will catch you or else you will smash into the ground and have to lift yourself up on your own. However, taking this leap is the best decision I ever made because I am so much happier now. I hope this didn’t discourage you at all, it’s just the reality of it, but I swear you will feel so much euphoria when you finally step out of your comfort zone and draw yourself as a woman. I know I did when I shoddily photoshopped long hair and makeup on me many years ago.

Lumelore,
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Hot tip: You can skip the police officer’s dialogue by reaching for their gun.

(Just in case, do not do this)

Lumelore,
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  1. For it to be a safe space for trans people to hang out in.
  2. Central time, United States
  3. I used to mod a small minecraft subreddit.
  4. I love the sense of community here, which I think comes from it being so small, although sometimes I wish there were more people here to interact with.
  5. No experience with bots, but I do have python experience.
Lumelore,
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I got half life for free when steam did the 25 year anniversary promotion for it. So you can actually get free games if you wait long enough lol.

I also got little nightmares for free as well, but I don’t remember the occasion.

Does anybody have experience with progesterone creams?

I feel like I am at a point in my transition where I might benefit from adding progesterone into the equation. However, I have heard wildly different opinions on whether it has any impact at all, and criticism of generally available creams on amazon for not being the same as human progesterone, since they are often derived from...

Lumelore,
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Yeah, those femboy tummy pills were exactly what I was thinking of. If the clinic you go to has an online chart, you may be able to send them a message inquiring about prog, but you could also wait too if you feel that’s best.

Lumelore,
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I honestly wouldn’t trust hormones from Amazon in any form, but I have heard that creams in general have a lower absorption rate.

If you’re not doing DIY, it’d be best to talk to your doctor about it, since they’ll know the best form and dose of it for you to take and you’d also be able to get it from a pharmacy then too.

One of my worries about hormones that aren’t from a pharmacy are that since there unfortunately are people out there who don’t like us, they may purposely make products to harm us (which has happened before, I don’t remember the name of that product though) or they may make products that don’t work to scam people who are desperate and trying to DIY.

Lumelore,
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Definitely an eepy princess. I actually just woke up from my second nap lol.

Lumelore,
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That’s exactly what it is. Capitalism with zero regulations. Anarcho caps have to have like -3 brain cells.

Lumelore,
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I grew up in a rural area so I was completely unaware of queer people until around 11, when I discovered trans porn on a shock site. I liked it, but its presence on a shock site made me feel like I should be ashamed and I repressed myself for years.

As a child I was always more interested in girl toys than boy toys. I also never really got along well with boys, and girls were not interested in playing with me since they assumed I just wanted to mess with them. Due to that I didn’t really have many friends so my parents put me in boy scouts which did not help. I almost always just clung to my dad entire time instead of socializing like they wanted me to.

My parents also made me go to a catholic “faith formation” program once or twice a week for about 10 years which I absolutely hated. It was even sex separated to make it even worse. The last two years of that they were preparing us for confirmation so they wanted us to pick a saint’s name. I had a really hard time picking a guy’s name as I didn’t like any of them, but I noticed that I did like some girl’s names. I tried picking one of them but they really did not like that and they forced me to pick a guy’s name. I started questioning them and pushing back against their shit which they also really did not like. I eventually stopped showing up and I never ended up getting confirmed.

For some reason, I never questioned why I liked the girl’s names and disliked the guy’s. At the time I was very depressed and was dealing with my family who were upset at me for being an atheist, so I guess that’s why.

A year later I started antidepressants and for a few months I was actually happy until school started back up again. Suddenly I started to notice that I was envious of women for some reason and it was making me sad again. A month or two later I had a thought about being a girl that was very loud and stuck in my brain. I was very confused and afraid at first but I eventually started experimenting with my gender and about a month later I accepted myself as trans. I didn’t really get to come out on my own to my family, because my mom got suspicious of my femininity and figured out on her own that I’m trans. She kind of accepted me at first but it took her about two years to fully come around to it.

It has now been about 4 and a half years since I accepted myself. I’m also now 8 months on estrogen and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. :3

Lumelore,
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Gock is a portmanteau of girl and cock. :3

Lumelore,
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Two ideas I have:

  1. Find some other place that is primarily trans men and advertise this community there. I’m not sure where that would be though.
  2. Ask people to recommend the trans men they know this community.
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