begamit

@begamit@sovereign.lgbt

> 80s latch key kid wandering the wild west, west coast, and fediverse, one fart joke at a time. lenca/safardi mutt. queer anarchist. so be it.

>> avatar: black/white basenji wearing a red bandana around neck.
>> banner: two trash pandas in a tree.

:ironfront: :queeranarchy: :ms_transgender_flag: :ms_rainbow_flag: :vegan: :linux:

#vegan #basenji #acab #nobot

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Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

Submitted without explanation.

A man lays on his back with his butt in the air, and his knees pulled back with one hand, covering his butt hole as he moves it around so that his fart sounds like a duck.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude

man asking "what made you like this?"

begamit, to random

sad fais

have to switch instances.

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

Fuck!

I'm out of chocolate.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude use your Hershey highway and make some in the toilet.

begamit, to random

tfw you have sand in your butt crack.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude like you've never been in the ocean.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude riiiight.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude no

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude fart noise

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

After decades of research I have come to the conclusion that waking up everyday is a mistake.

begamit,

@ForfarFairLady @Mrfunkedude

Archie and Edith

begamit, to random

play that skin flute for clout. that's the ticket.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude no

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude not even going to pretend i know what you're babbling about.

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

One of these days, when you're least expecting it, something that you hadn't accounted for will happen.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude

homey don't play that

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

Word to the wise, if you canceled your Netflix account any time within the last few months you might want to go back and make sure it's actually cancelled.

I cancelled Netflix two months ago and I just found out that it's still active. So I deactivated the account AGAIN.

Next I'm going to call my credit card company and dispute the bill. This is straight up bullshit.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude u sure u weren't hella high when you thought you canceled two months ago?

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

It's time to BOOST! 🚀

Share your daily life on Mastodon with . Acknowledging others makes them feel seen. Unlike other platforms, Mastodon cares about real lives, not just clout.

You're awesome for helping others!

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude pretty sure mastodon is inanimate therefore cannot care about anything.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude truth hurts, I know.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude 🤔🖕🏼

begamit, to random

the smell of your broccoli farts are the best.

real DM from @Mrfunkedude

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude lolwot?

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

WHY IS TODAY SO SLOW???

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude counting farts speeds things up. trust me.

Mrfunkedude, to random
@Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

Wait... I thought the 5 stages of grief were Pop Tarts, cereal, alcohol, Scrubs reruns, and deleted texts?!?!

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude thought there were 10 stages and spanking the monkey was a stage. hmm.

begamit, to random

"Did you get D'd at The D last night?"

-- things you don't hear in Vegas.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude sorry, i do not understand what you are babbling about.

begamit,

@Mrfunkedude I do not. and neither do you.

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