It's hopeless isn't it? We complain about destroying the planet and being a horrible species, but both you and I are part of the problem.
Indulgence is selfish and being selfish is the reason humans have gotten to this point. But everyone's going to be selfish, so why shouldn't I be? There's no hope of the world recovering. Might as well have a metaphorical doomsday party.
I hope I can have a peaceful death. One without horrible pain and fear leading up to it. Killing myself seems like the best way for that. Instead of dying slowly from disease, I can shoot myself and be gone before the pain starts. But again, the fear of death is so horrible... No matter how much I think about the fact that it's just nothingness, it's still terrifying. Before I was born I experienced nothingness, and it was fine. Returning to nothingness would be fine. But I'm so scared despite that