CactuarJoe,
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It's about an hour until , your weekly monster movie watch party. If you wanna filter the hashtag, now's the time to do it.

This week we're watching Mothra Vs. Godzilla, in which Mothra is ONCE AGAIN fully justified and Godzilla is just a big green lump. Get 'im Mothra!

If you'd like to join in, the film's available on a bunch of streaming services, but it's free over here on Archive.org: https://archive.org/details/godzilla-vs.-the-thing-4-k-remaster

We start at 9pm Eastern!

CactuarJoe,
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Got my headphones fully charged, got the lights off, got a nice milkshake. Time for - 5 minutes! :D

CactuarJoe,
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TOHO-TAL DESTRUCTION

CactuarJoe,
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American International pictures FINALLY presents an ACTUAL international movie!

CactuarJoe,
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The American version is very disrespectful to Mothra, it's insulting. Calling her THE THING :/

trixter,
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@CactuarJoe so mean 😭

CactuarJoe,
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@trixter Rude!

CactuarJoe,
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Oh no, tomorrow's Fun Fair is RUINED

CactuarJoe,
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So much for the Edmund Fitzgerald :/

CactuarJoe,
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Wow, they got destroyed miniature model all over the docks :/

CactuarJoe,
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They show those pipes and all I can hear is BLEEEEEUUUUUUUGH BAAAAAARF BLEEEEUUUUGH

CactuarJoe,
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So, how radioactive do you think that thing is?

CactuarJoe,
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"A monster egg?"

Is it hardboiled? Soft boiled? Over easy?

CactuarJoe,
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No worries, the shinto priest has it under control. See, he's got a bug swatter?

CactuarJoe,
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They paddle out to the egg and meet the Welsh islanders from Gorgo coming the other direction :P

CactuarJoe,
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Enterprising? He's just Dorkin.

CactuarJoe,
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Oh hell, here come the tiny twins.

CactuarJoe,
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Oh, they're fashionable this time!

trixter,
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@CactuarJoe Those little outfits are so cute! 😭

CactuarJoe,
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"The CEO and I were just wrestling fairies!"

Uh... Huh. I'll show myself out.

CactuarJoe,
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Man, the Easter Bunny went well above the call of duty hiding that one.

CactuarJoe,
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"The natives are praying that the egg will be returned!"

We've got a whole song-and-dance-based economy on the island! It's super important we get it back!

CactuarJoe,
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Aaaaand once again the brownface. I love Mothra, but seriously guys. Stop.

CactuarJoe,
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How did you miss the TEN STORY TALL MOTH!?!?

CactuarJoe,
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Love the 1960s architecture in this flick. Even the industrial stuff is very Modernist.

CactuarJoe,
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I appreciate how greasy these capitalists are. Unusual to find real Captain Planet villains in the wild like this.

CactuarJoe,
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"We've already got the monster egg, what's a little human trafficking?"

CactuarJoe,
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C'mon guys, legal means have been exhausted? Time to get up to some good ol' fashioned corporate espionage! Put your big boy pants on and blow up the incubator!

CactuarJoe,
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Wonder how much Mothra had to pay for parking.

CactuarJoe,
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Japanese folk in the 1960s got so creative with their moustaches.

CactuarJoe,
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Love these shots of the capitalists standing around sneering at each other.

CactuarJoe,
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"You can't go into the egg compartment until you've been thoroughly doused in Chanel No. 5."

CactuarJoe,
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HEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY

CactuarJoe,
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Tail first! Godzilla's a breech! Get the midwife!

CactuarJoe,
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This was before they came up with the Godzilla Evacuation Protocols, so once the giant Kaiju appears you're pretty much on your own.

CactuarJoe,
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Godzilla has a special scent gland in the roof of its mouth that helps it detect which buildings will make the largest explosions when targeted.

CactuarJoe,
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Mostly I'm impressed by the people who somehow managed to pack ALL OF THEIR BELONGINGS and load them into a truck in between the announcement five minutes ago and Godzilla walking down their street now.

CactuarJoe,
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Ah, Godzilla's one weakness -- sudden elevation changes. Also subway tunnels!

CactuarJoe,
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Oh, this is the American section. Boo, get the white boys off the screen.

CactuarJoe,
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YOU MISSED.

CactuarJoe,
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...So did the special effects guys just plant a bunch of explosives in the sand and have the guy in the suit walk over them? That sounds... Not safe.

CactuarJoe,
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"This may sound unscientific, but through the fairies, we might be able to ask Mothra for help."

CactuarJoe,
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And as the sun sets on the first day of Godzilla destruction, we pause for Mothra station identification.

CactuarJoe,
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"So this is the result of atomic tests?"

Well, and styrofoam sculpture.

CactuarJoe,
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Hoo boy. I see it's time for the Toho Intercultural Sensitivity Hour :/ :/ :/

CactuarJoe,
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"Now... DRINK!"

Mm, new gatorade flavor

CactuarJoe,
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Oh neat, the fairies have their own Wonka Cavern.

CactuarJoe,
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"Now c'mon, inflict violence on our behalf!"

CactuarJoe,
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fans will see a dead turtle reduced to a bleached skeleton and be like, "That's my son."

And they're right!

CactuarJoe,
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"We'll build a special power plant to generate enough electricity to destroy Godzilla!"

Oh, great idea. Good thing Godzilla isn't DRAWN SPECIFICALLY TO POWER PLANTS, you RUBE

otheorange_tag,
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@CactuarJoe is this like the reverse of never trying fire?!

CactuarJoe,
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Oh god, the fucking egg guy again.

CactuarJoe,
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Man, it's gonna feel real good when Godzilla vaporizes these guys.

CactuarJoe,
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Yes, Godzilla! Destroy the financial district! Make the people happy!

CactuarJoe,
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Godzilla, buddy, c'mon. We've already got one egg obsessed character, we don't need two.

CactuarJoe,
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Getting annoying the dub keeps calling Mothra "The Thing!"

"Look, it's The Thing!" Bitch that is MOTHRA put some respect on her name!

CactuarJoe,
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Mothra should really be using Fairy Wind here, not Gust.

CactuarJoe,
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And Mothra drags Godzilla back into the ring, she's got no respect for the man now, it's horrifying! How can you call this a legitimate sport, I'm Howard Cosell...

CactuarJoe,
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C'mon, Mothra, you START the fight with Poison Powder! You're not gonna do anything trying to deal the last bit of damage that way :/

CactuarJoe,
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"Commence A plan!"

Yes, let's commence a plan! Which plan should we commence?

CactuarJoe,
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Oh, that is... The Godzilla suit actually on fire 😬

CactuarJoe,
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Welp, electricity didn't work. Tanks didn't work. I guess we'll try rifles? Affix bayonets?

CactuarJoe,
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Only one thing can wake Mothra: Liturgical dance!

CactuarJoe,
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"Godzilla's coming! Get the beekeepers out of the tent!"

CactuarJoe,
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CactuarJoe,
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Drape a net on Godzilla? Well, it worked in 20 Million Miles to Earth, I guess.

CactuarJoe,
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Oh good melting tanks! Good job :D

CactuarJoe,
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"There are children still on the island!"

Godzilla: CAN I BE OF ANY ASSISTANCE?

CactuarJoe,
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This is how you wake the Wind Fish in Link's Awakening, too.

CactuarJoe,
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TWINS!?

CactuarJoe,
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My god, how is Mothra going to pay the bills now? Twins, and a single mother!

CactuarJoe,
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Man, Godzilla is really going THAT far out of his way just to kill half a dozen kids. Wow. Godzilla really said fuck them kids.

CactuarJoe,
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I'm beginning to think the male lead exists just solely to grab the photographer lady by the arms. Like, that's his whole role in this film.

CactuarJoe,
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Godzilla: And when I said fuck them kids, let me be clear, I meant FUCK THEM KIDS

CactuarJoe,
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Heh, you can see the plastic joints on the Mothra grub as it whips around :P

CactuarJoe,
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Godzilla: GODDAMN GOPHERS

CactuarJoe,
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I think this is the most effective String Shot has ever been, anywhere.

CactuarJoe,
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Oh, I get it, the grubs tied him up and threw him in the bay! Godzilla'll never mess with Cement Shoes Moth and Piano Wire Ra ever again!

CactuarJoe,
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...Wait, that's it!? THAT'S THE END!?!?! THEY LITERALLY KILLED GODZILLA

WITH SILLY STRING???

WHAT

CactuarJoe,
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I was expecting a WHOLE OTHER FIGHT SEQUENCE! Mothra ALWAYS goes cocoon and THEN the final battle!

Who WAS this Godzilla, he got jacked by LITERAL BABIES

trixter,
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@CactuarJoe Go easy on him, he’d clearly had a rough night.

CactuarJoe,
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@trixter We now know how many toddlers it would take to beat Godzilla

TWO

¯_(ツ)_/¯

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