Susan60, I can sometimes be slow to notice the elephant in the room & the eggshells on the floor (the problem that everyone carefully denies and manages so as not to upset anyone), but once I do notice, I want to confront and solve it.
The problem in this instance is my MIL’s insistence that she & FIL continue to live in a house too large to manage on an acre of rambling garden in an isolated location at the top of a narrow windy road.
Of course solving such a thing is not always possible, & if I’m not the main person affected, the person doing their best to support & manage the situation, it’s not my problem. Attempting to solve it might just make the situation worse for that person & leave others feeling judged & hurt.
It’s a boundary issue, & one I struggle with.