It seems like you’re aiming for an unobtainable goal, namely being perfectly in harmony with everyone at all times. While that is understandable and even commendable in a lot of ways it isn’t how human relationships work. Every personality trait is annoying to someone else. Obviously some more so than others but the point is that you shouldn’t worry too much about how people perceive your interactions with them because chances are they notice whatever behavior you are concerned about a lot less than you think they do.
That is not to say that you shouldn’t think about it at all. In fact, many people would benefit from thinking about this kind of thing more. However, from what you’ve written here you don’t seem like one of those people. After a certain point introspection stops becoming helpful and starts becoming paralyzing. You can end up spending hours obsessing over how one interaction was perceived by someone else when in reality they didn’t think twice about it.
I would encourage you to think about how often you get upset with others and why, noting how ADHD can influence your perception of both, and then try to calibrate your self criticism to account for how often you could be simply over analyzing the situation. I think people are telling you that you apologize too much not because you are reaching the limit of their forgiveness but rather because they did not believe you needed to offer an apology. In other words, the problem was bigger in your mind than in reality. Listen to what they are telling you and try to be more forgiving of yourself instead of projecting your feelings on to others who probably don’t feel the same as you.