I’m sorry but how in the hell is this in any way related to ADHD? ADHD doesn’t make you fixate on some future events all day unless you’re like, super excited about it or something I guess. In fact, it’s often the opposite, getting fixated/distracted by other things and ending up late to meetings if you’re not careful. ADHD is a very specific disorder of executive function and while it can manifest in a variety of ways, there’s always an underlying mechanism behind it that makes some kind of sense. It’s not a blanket “oh I can’t manage any responsibilities haha”.
Seriously, people these days will just lump every little thing in with ADHD and it drives me crazy. I have had (actually diagnosed) ADHD my whole life (way before all this self-diagnosis nonsense on Tiktok) and have learned a variety of strategies for managing it. It’s posts like this that make it difficult for people who actually do have ADHD, because it makes people confused about what it actually is and what it’s actually like to live with. ADHD is not a Boogeyman you can blame all your problems on and treating it as such does a huge disservice to people that actually have the condition.
I used to work 5pm shifts every day, it was hell until I finally just started going to bed at 8-9am and waking up an hour before my shift started. Anything can be a morning activity if you’re flexible enough on what morning means.
Why? That’s the best time of day for an appointment. I’ve plenty time to actually sleep well, not rush to get ready, not be late, actually be awake when I get there. Well I might still be late
Sounds alright. I’ve got a phone, computer, TV, job. Might not be focused enough to actually be productive, but I’d rather that than be rushed, unready and unslept
Better than a 7am appointment, now that will really ruin my day. Doesn’t matter if I got 8 hours sleep the night before (I definitely didn’t but let’s pretend for a moment), I’m going to be tired for the rest of the week.
Sadly most people can’t make enough money to survive doing that, because any job that let’s you work from home WILL requires appointments and meetings even if they’re just over zoom. And zoom appointments are about 500 hundred times worse for me shudder.
I have the opposite experience. I use early appointments as a tool to get me up and moving, dressed, presentable, etc. Then I have some momentum for the later part of the morning and afternoon.
This and the keys thing are definitely not something the average neurotypical experiences on a day to day basis to a degree that it negatively affects their life and ability to function. Because that’s how these mental conditions work, they don’t have unique unheard of symptoms that no normal person will ever experience, they experience what neurotypical people occasionally experience, to a debilitating degree and/or at an excessive frequency. For someone with adhd this is an all consuming issue that happens every. Single. Time. You have an appointment, even if it’s for an appointment you WANTED to happen that will only bring good things. That is not normal, and if it sounds normal to you, then you may want to book an appointment with your doctor.
So it’s common for the majority of the population to have their complete day ruined by being able to solely hyperfocus on said appointment from the time they wake up, double-, triple- and quadruple check all things related to the appointment, still develop anxiety over the however improbable idea they might have forgotten something or “fuck up” the appointment (even if that’s actually not possible) and spent the time after the appointment completely exhausted and unable to participate in any other activity, including actual relaxation?
That’s (or similar effects) are what people with ADHD and related disorders actually experience. If that would be common, I don’t think appointments would be scheduled the way they are. It’s not hard to observe that neurotypical people don’t have to think about and focus on their appointments with increasing dread for an unreasonable time before the actual appointments.
You are right, the Internet certainly has its share of people that love to self-diagnose and parade around mental disorders and downright illnesses like scout badges, but let’s just assume this is a (albeit funny and “meme-y”) support community for people that face actual struggles.
There are estimates how common the disorder is among adults and children. Depending on how those are established, 2.5% to 5% seems like a probable range.
Care to expand? They made an effort to give you good arguments. The presented premise you “literally” accept is argued to not be possible. So, which is it?
Yes, a great deal of people do not like having appointments in the middle of the afternoon, and frequently check multiple times throughout the day to ensure they won’t be late, and still worry about somehow missing the appointment. That is just a normal thing. It is not a symptom of anything and especially not ADHD
Yeah it sounds like you’re just describing general nervousness. That’s not what is being talked about here. A simple half hour doctors appointment literally fucking cancels everything I wanted to do that day, it is exhausting to think about it.
So sitting there staring at the clock until it’s time for your appointment and being literally unable to do anything else until it’s time to go while being terrified of being late or unprepared is normal? I mean I am literally unable to do anything even if I want to. I’m diagnosed ADHD and this is more than just checking your watch a lot. If you’ve never had executive dysfunction you’re lucky. It doesn’t make sense to people who don’t experience it.
If that’s normal for you, maybe you should see a doctor about it. I assure you, as I have been reminded by neurotypical people all of my life, it isn’t normal.
I don’t know if you’re arguing in bad faith here. If you are, I don’t think either of us should waste our time.
What you are describing isn’t close to what the issue is for some. You should be open to the idea that this can actually be a problem to a few, while being like what you describe, to most.
The difference in almost every diagnosed condition is severity of impact. In that sense, you are right, it is quite common to keep in mind a coming appointment and worry about not being late. It is quite normal, and not a symptom of anything and especially not ADHD.
But, surely you can, if only conceptually, accept that “worry” and the adverse effects, can vary in severity? When it reduces quality of life, that’s when it starts becoming a disorder. Guess what the last D is short for, for many diagnoses? It’s just a bunch of common negative traits grouped by some meaningful commonality and describes as a “disorder” when it acts as one.
Which brings me back to your seemingly callous disregard of people being different, which to be frank, sounds like a you-problem.
How most people function: like what you describe
How some people dysfunction, typically associated with ADHD: you cannot do shit, because you have an appointment later. It’s not even “worry”, “concern”, or “anxiousness”. It’s simply an interruption in your day, that stops you from doing anything.
If you cannot see the difference between these two, then you lack either empathy or imagination. In either case, you do you.
Why is it bad for us to share our commonalities with each other? Especially when those things we are routinely told aren’t normal or okay. We watch neurotypical people pass us by all the time. I personally missed so many appointments before I was medicated that I had lost several mental health professionals and probably spent around a thousand dollars in missed appointment fees over the years. The whole time it was treated like a personal failing of mine that mysteriously went away once I was properly medicated.
Knowing that other people experience that, that other people know how it feels, genuinely makes it easier. It also spreads awareness like “hey do you constantly miss appointments without intending to whatsoever? Maybe there’s a reason why”. I think that is objectively a good thing.
Sharing commonalities is fine. Sharing common experiences as they related to a mental diagnosis is fine. Saying “that ADHD feeling when you have a 3 PM appointment and check the clock 10 times to make sure you won’t be late!” Is making ADHD out to be something which is just a common real world experience. In doing so it makes a shit ton of people think they have ADHD when they don’t, and it makes it more difficult for people who actually do have ADHD to get appropriate treatment and diagnosis.
Unfortunately, a great deal of people have co-opted legitimate mental illness to essentially either 1. Have something to identify with or 2. Get out of real world responsibilities. “It’s not my fault I failed the test and didn’t turn in that report at work, I just have ADHD! The posts online talking about being nervous for midday appointments said so!”
They’re an actual victim, but they haven’t realized it yet.
They genuinely believe that these things that are torturous to experience are “normal,” and they’ve internalized the abuse they’ve received that these things are normal so hard that they’re offended other people are commisserating over how awful these experiences are, because it implies that they themselves are also not “normal.”
Pity them. They’re white-knuckling their symptoms and can’t even enjoy commisserating with others.
It’s 2:28pm. I’m almost there. I managed to lessen the agony by researching a surgery my dog might need and making opossum memes. Just 30 more minutes, and I can have this damn meeting, then enjoy my day.
My friends like to make plans but refuse to decide on a meeting time so that I’m stuck in torturous limbo land all day. Assholes don’t understand the pain.
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