Mixed feelings about giving money to houseless people

So, to get this out of the way, I'm a cisgender white man from a well-off family in a fairly affluent town. I'm making this post because I want to hear perspectives from those who are different from and likely significantly more knowledgeable than me. (Literally as I was writing this post, I came to the epiphany that I should probably more properly educate myself on socialism.)

TL;DR: What is your opinion on giving money to houseless people you see IRL?

I like to consider myself socialist/progressive in thought---in favor of wealth redistribution via various methods, live and let live, freedom for everyone as long as you're not materially harming anyone, etc.---but I grew up in a fairly conservative household (more socially than fiscally, but even then). Being in a rich area, I never really saw houseless people around unless I went to one of the nearby cities, and the general policy was keep walking and don't look. My parents definitely raised me to be kind and generous, but more in a detached "give to charity" way.

Rather recently, I've really embraced this idea of being socialist, and I've become very free with giving my money in particular (though I'm aware I could do more, like join a DSA branch or somethin'). I love giving to non-profit organizations when I can, I support creators I like on Patreon. I've even started giving to people on Fedi who I've seen need money for whatever reason. Spread the wealth, right?

Now, things have changed where I live, and even in my rich lil burb, you can usually find at least one refugee or houseless person when you go out to a grocery store or something. I just saw a guy who was standing outside a grocery store asking for spare change, and it was a rare occasion that I actually had cash in my wallet. On my way out, I gave it to him. Simple.

But I feel weird about it. I have all these ideas in my head from White America saying that they'll just buy alcohol or drugs with it or that they're scamming me or anything else like that. Then on the other hand, I think that it's just as likely (if not more) that they're going to spend it on things they actually need to live and how it's not my job to police how they use their money. And then on the third hand, I think that maybe it would be better to donate money to organizations that help out houseless people than just giving money to random people. Then on the fourth hand---you get the idea.

For those of you who actually read the whole post and didn't stop at the TL;DR, I have a few questions:

  1. Why in God's name did you actually read this whole thing?
  2. Are these feelings normal or am I just a self-centered prick?
  3. What are your opinions on giving money to houseless people you just randomly meet?
  4. As a bonus question for the socialists out there: Any recs on socialism learning resources for someone who likes reading, but doesn't like reading books?

For those of you who made it all the way to the end, thank you for reading my neurotic ramblings.

EDIT: I didn't really expect this to blow up... but thank you all so much for your perspectives on everything. It was exactly what I was hoping for and exactly what I didn't think I was going to get. I tried to read everything and I feel simultaneously less conflicted, but definitely more... not confused, but maybe full of ideas?

Nougat,

My brother-in-law has worked in homeless charity for a long time, not just on the front lines but as executive director, too. He told me that handing cash directly to someone on the street is something he never does, unless he knows that person personally from interacting with them at a shelter or in relation to some other support program. Folks can get so much more in terms of assistance and services if they're connected to a program. The programs run more efficiently, so your donations to a homeless charity will provide much more than a donation to an individual person. Finally, they want people to participate in these programs, so they can get people the support they need, not just in terms of housing and food, but mental health services, job training, all sorts of stuff.

You're right: make your donations to a charity of your choice, and go do some volunteer time, too.

chramies,
chramies avatar

I work in homeless services and I would agree with that. If you want to give money or help, give it to the organisations that help homeless people. For the reasons stated here.

hoyland,

This argument doesn't make much sense and is honestly weirdly condescending to unhoused people. Donating money to an organization is almost surely the most efficient way to use that money, but it doesn't follow that you shouldn't give money to individuals. Unless you are really truly going to go home and send that $5 you didn't give to a person to an organization immediately, that's $5 that's not helping anyone.

There's definitely an argument that organized giving should be directed to organizations (though folks deep into mutual aid would question whether something organized enough to have executives is the right place, but that's more a philosophical question, I think), but when I give the singles in my wallet to someone of the subway or whatever, that's not organized giving.

Nougat,

I neglected to include this: "not enough money to make it independently" in someone's pocket can delay them getting to a program that would offer a great deal more services, and ones which would put them more firmly on the path towards independence. Whether it's a few dollars given by an indivudual, or a wide range of services given by an organization, they're still mainly dependent on charity. It's often the services a program provides that are a necessary part of moving towards independence, and $5 in the pocket doesn't get those services.

In order for any organization to accomplish large goals most efficiently, it will need leadership.

Finally, you'll note that I didn't say don't give to individuals. I said that your charity will do more when it is given to the right organization. I am aware that there are plenty of "charity" organizations that are, shall we say, less charitable than others. Yes, it will require some effort on the part of the person giving to vet charities to their satisfaction. Going to do volunteer work with charitable organizations can be part (but not all) of that vetting. It is always the choice of the individual giver as to where their donations go: this charity, that person, that charity, this person.

Gabadabs,
Gabadabs avatar

If they want to spend any money you them on drugs/alcohol... So what? Like, I can guarantee you that if I had to sleep on the street whatever gets me through my day or helps me sleep does that. Giving homeless people food is kind, but honestly it's very common already and they have other needs. I give them money, because I've almost been there a few points in my life.

Entropywins,
Entropywins avatar

Absolutely no one needs to be given money for drugs/alcohol. I was a homeless drug addict and the amount of mental illness and trauma that's out there is beyond your imagination, if you haven't lived it, I can't blame you for your thinking. But please don't enable people, there is so much trauma out there and helping to perpetuate it is no good deed. The things I've went through and witnessed is down right awful stuff and it's happening right now in the homeless drug circles and I'm not talking theft, it gets much much worse. If you feel for the homeless your best bet is donating to outreach and homeless shelter or volunteering your time and being a kind ear to listen and maybe show them they are worthy of love and a better life.

ondoyant,
@ondoyant@beehaw.org avatar

i don't want to invalidate your experience, but harm reduction research suggests this is a flawed perspective. somebody should be getting drugs for people who need them. quitting some drugs is difficult, if you do it wrong you can die, and if people can get drugs without doing dangerous shit, they probably will. there are cogent arguments to suggest that giving people drugs when they ask for them, providing them with resources that make taking those drugs safer, and giving them a place to live might really make it easier for people to quit, because you are giving them stability they can't provide for themselves. certainly providing rehab resources freely is part of it, but if you remove the need to pay for drugs, alot of the incentive to do bad stuff to get drugs disappears.

iamhazel,
@iamhazel@beehaw.org avatar

I have a pretty similar background except I'm a trans woman and for the past decade I've lived and schooled and worked in a downtown area - about 80k population in the city.

My instinct used to be they will use it for drugs or are a grifter, many years ago. My current position is, if I have the money to spare then I should help with absolute disregard for my old thought patterns. If there is a chance this human won't be able to eat today, and I have a chance to help, then I will try, though I almost never have cash. I will offer to buy them a meal if near a restaurant.

Today my roommate and I were coming home from urgent care and they keep a package of bottled water in the car, and we had picked up food, so we offered a burger and two bottles of water and the person was grateful.

I am autistic and fwiw my therapist's take is that especially in big cities they are basically all grifters playing the tourists and to ignore them. I don't know what I think about that, but he would know a lot more than me.

Edit to add: I could not care less anymore what they use the money for. If there was a comprehensive functional model for helping people get off the street who want off, I'd feel differently, but then this would be an entirely different convo.

miracleorange,

Yeah, I live in close proximity to a few big cities, and while I'm of the opinion/hope that a majority of houseless people/beggars are scam artists just looking for their next hit, the evidence I've seen walking when I'm through those cities can look fairly damning sometimes.

Your perspective is one I was hoping to see: someone with a similar background to me but who has gotten past their biases. It definitely helps.

iamhazel,
@iamhazel@beehaw.org avatar

Let me ask you, how do you feel when someone asks and you say no / apologize / walk by?

I feel like a shit human. I still do it at times out of discomfort and internalized biases I still struggle with, but it never feels right or good.

A little over a year ago I transitioned to working in a gov-funded mental health and substance abuse integrated serbice provider (it's a mouthful), we have four various buildings around the city. Of course we take all sorts of trainings on bias, trauma, social determinants of health, and homelessness is a big problem in our city so we talk about that a lot. That definitely played a part in deconstructing my past ideas.

I was homeschooled until college with my eight siblings because public schools bad and religious indoctrination good. As soon as I started experiencing the actual, real world, I had to deconstruct EVERYTHING, and a decade later I'm still reconstructing. This all played a HUGE part in my beliefs before and after. I grew up watching/listening to and respecting Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly and all them, and now my dad is into Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro et al.

Sorry, I'm just going on about nothing now. But consider how your beliefs/perceptions developed in the first place and it might help / provide clarity.

Los,
@Los@beehaw.org avatar

My family has opted to buy food on these occasions, maybe you should try that.

chloyster,

Also just to call back to your comment on the dsa, it got me thinking.

I do think a great thing you can do is volunteer your time or be a proponent of things that can actually be a solution to the systemic issues that lead to large amounts of unhoused people. Social housing is a thing that's starting to be discussed in many places across the US, and I am very close with someone who was a key part of getting the initiative in Seattle passed. Her involvement in that has definitely made me look to participate in similar stuff where I live

miracleorange,

I live in a pretty bougie place, and I live far enough away from any sizable city that it's easy to rationalize not joining any sort of initiative or organization. That and the issue of my mental disabilities and general temperament getting in the way. That said, I'm getting to the point where it's getting harder and harder to justify not doing something.

UngodlyAudrey,
@UngodlyAudrey@beehaw.org avatar

I think you're overthinking it a bit. Doesn't really matter too much, a dollar or two, in the long run. If I have cash on me(which isn't always the case), I'll usually give to them. If they spend it on vices, whatever. It's not really that much of a loss.

Butterbee,
@Butterbee@beehaw.org avatar

My opinion on it is, I don't particularly care if they spend what I give on drugs. If I have money to spare and give it to someone who's asking for it on the street, they are a human in need and this is the most direct action I can take to make their day better. If what they really need is a hit of whatever, that's not my business. I do hope they are getting help from organizations as well. I do hope they are able to find a way out of their situation. But once the money is out of my hands and into theirs, it's THEIRS to do with as they see fit.

BuxtonWater,
@BuxtonWater@beehaw.org avatar
  1. I can read quick and you put it in proper paragraphs so it wasn't a pain to read.
  2. Yes they're normal, you're just trying to judge who you feel is most in need of what you can give.
  3. If I have the money on me and can spare it then I'll do it, but that very rarely happens as I don't carry my wallet most of the time.

Personally my policy is to give them money even if they use it for drugs, as a former addict myself that money will keep them alive physically or mentally, and or both no matter what. And that is worth the short term damage of them potentially using it for drugs, it gives them another period of time (days, weeks, etc) to choose to change for the better. It's a very painful and embarassing thing to ask another person for money for drugs (subtly or non-subtly), very painful.

But it's better than resorting to theft or dying depending on what you're addicted to. Withdrawal is absolute hell and I would if the situation arose give an addict in active withdrawal money to get out of it without much hesitation.

miracleorange,

Personally my policy is to give them money even if they use it for drugs, as a former addict myself that money will keep them alive physically or mentally, and or both no matter what.

That's definitely what I was thinking: even if they're going to buy drugs, maybe they'll be able to do it safer. I love the idea of harm reduction and am aware of the studies that say how it helps. And congrats on kicking your addiction!

I can read quick and you put it in proper paragraphs so it wasn’t a pain to read.

I tutor English for a living and constantly stress to my students the importance of breaking things into paragraphs. As someone with ADHD, I write the way I'd like to read, so thank you for that comment lol

BuxtonWater,
@BuxtonWater@beehaw.org avatar

Exactly, harm reduction is the main game, with prevention (just not having people get addicted to start) being the ideal worked toward these days in most if not all competent drug rehabitlitation programs. And thanks, heroin is a monster, you slide into it so easily and then suddenly you’re a year later screaming in agony across your whole body, depressed, anxious, cold and hot, and all of that disappears with a single line of that shit. So I am damn glad I don't have that happening every month anymore.

And also potential ADHD haver here (diagnosis appointments are set for next month), proper structure of paragraphs and sentences makes everything read so much easier for me too.

Dee_Imaginarium,
@Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org avatar

What is your opinion on giving money to houseless people you see IRL?

I live in the PDX area and so run into a lot of houseless people. For me, it varies. The houseless are not a monolith. There are many, many different kinds of houseless for how they got there and why they're there now. Many just need a bit of help to get back on their feet, many others don't want help. You just have to talk to them to get to know them. I've had many conversations with them on the train and there's a lot of good people out there who were given a tough break. I don't give to every one of them, but the ones I know it will help I try to when I'm able.

bluGill,
bluGill avatar

Some of them are great at telling a convincing story that is not the truth . Maybe you can tell who is honest and who is not, but I can't

kalanggam,

Houseless people are suffering through some of the most dire consequences of living in our capitalist hellscape (which is itself built by wealthy people many of whose wealth is ill-gotten through lying, swindling, and other exploitation). They don't have proper shelter, many deal with food insecurity, many are just desperate to have some kind of stable life or just have someone treat them like an equal, like a fellow human.

They shouldn't have to jump through hoops, prove themselves to be the "good" type, perform some kind of perfect victimhood, or pose as saints for us - and, being real, many of us are only one emergency away from also becoming houseless - so that we can pass what fickle judgment we have and decide they're worthy of aid and assistance. We don't really have the capacity to judge them off a small, often one-time interaction, and even if we did, what kind of message is that? "I'll give you five dollars, but only if you do a little song and dance and show me that you applied for a job"?

Frankly, people deserve housing and food, no matter their moral character; houseless people shouldn't have to demonstrate their character to us in order to deserve even a small parcel of what we're fortunate enough to have. It takes some arrogance and lack of compassion on our part to expect that of them, especially when many of us with housing aren't exactly saints either. Given the messaging we get from society, I understand some of the misgivings people might have, but still. Most people in general shouldn't have to do anything special to be worthy of our kindness.

miracleorange,

You just have to talk to them to get to know them. I’ve had many conversations with them on the train and there’s a lot of good people out there who were given a tough break.

I wish I were the kind of person who does that. I'm definitely a big introvert and don't really like talking to people outside of controlled social situations. Honestly, I feel like maybe being that kind of person would make this whole situation easier, but... yeah.

Thank you very much for your perspective, though. It helps.

Dee_Imaginarium,
@Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org avatar

For what it matters, I think the most important thing to take away from what I said is that the houseless are not a monolith. As soon as somebody says "all houseless do X" know that they're talking out of their ass. All houseless people do not do any one thing, because they're all individual people with their own wants and needs.

I think it's great you're questioning those feelings you're having though and wanting to help more. That's where I started. Even if the progress is slow, as long as you're moving forward in that direction it's a good thing. Best of luck to you 😊

Moogly,

I give a lot tbh I’d say like ~10-20% my income a month. But that’s not all straight cash I will also buy people food, clothes, stuff their kids need, etc. but I do give people money a lot and I know it’s going to cigs/drugs. I don’t care what they spend it on.

I’m not giving them money for any specific reason I come up with, I’m giving them money so they have agency. The same freedom I have by having some extra cash, to do just whatever I feel I need to with; that’s all I actually want to extend to them. I think that personal agency is worth a lot and I don’t judge we all get our breaks in different ways.

I used to be an addict and was homeless for a long time. I spent a while at a rehab clinic and it was all free because of community volunteer and donation efforts. I appreciated that a lot and have been big on community shit ever since. Donating and volunteering and all that since I think it does make a difference on a small scale. And occasionally some bigger things you can do can straight up enable someone to change their life for the better

Chrisosaur,

I try to keep this approach in mind: the bad actions of a few should not prevent us from doing good by a lot of people. Don’t deprive 9 people of food money you could give them because the 10th might use it on drugs.

I can’t find a source right now, but I believe that begging also lies near the end of the poverty cycle. If someone has resorted to that, it’s likely that they have no other options for income.

furrowsofar,

If you do not want people hanging around and begging, do not give money directly. However have well funded social services and charities. I feel this way because I lived through a town that got over run with beggers and I am not exagerating. They would even take the train in for the day from the city. Town hired some people to talk to anyone giving them money and ask them to stop. A month later they were gone. People do what works including begging.

solidstate,

I used to give a bit when asked, even when directly asked for "some change for a beer". That was about ten years ago when I was a student and didn't have a lot of money myself.

I have always considered myself lucky having been born into circumstances that allowed me to become financially well-off and healthy, even though my parent aren't wealthy or anything like that.

From this point of view, I always thought giving a little bit away, which I won't even feel, to someone less fortunate than myself, was very reasonable.

And it is absolutely no business of mine to care what someone does with the money I give them. If I gave someone money and expected them to spend it in a certain way, that would be incredibly patronizing. Who am I to judge? If I lived on the street, I would probably try to make my days a bit lighter with a beer or two or three.

Today, it is different. While I earn good money now, I give less, and it is often on my mind why. I like to believe that it is the external circumstances that changed, though. First of all, the sheer quantity of people actively asking me for money, mostly when I am waiting for a train, would mean a more considerable sum of money than I was used to. Secondly, often the people asking are obviously users. For instance, there is a very active open crack scene where I live. This is different from the beer or two, which I to this day never had a problem supporting. It is often not even homeless people but rather people in dire need to support their opiate addiction.

This has become so obvious that I mostly opt out of giving money. Sometimes my gut tells me that this is one of the "good old beggars" or they just cone across as sincere and I give.

To conclude: opiates are hell and I want the good old times back when I did not feel conflicted when supporting less fortunate fellow citizens with a little change.

Rentlar,

Give if you feel like it. Don't feel bad you can't or don't. Acts of charity might not mean much for the world, but at the same time it could mean the world to someone.

Someone once popped in a Domino's pizza when I was picking an order up, he was trying to count out change for a soda, and also wasn't wearing shoes. I bought it for him and also gave a spare mask I had (it was covid time and workers felt a little uneasy with this person inside).

The sweet little smile he had warmed my heart (something worth more than $5), the $5 itself meant more to him than me.

Doesn't matter too much if half the time it gets used on smokes or drinks... if it can help someone out genuinely trying to escape a struggle 1 every 10 times I'm happy.

alottachairs,
@alottachairs@beehaw.org avatar

Hello, I just want to add that it's not right to request the opinion of BIPOC people to provide information for you. If you want to know the opinion of BIPOC people, read the opinion of some, the resources are out there to learn and do the work. Why should we expect people, who can be repressed by a system to provide the burden of eduction of educating you about said system.

N0_Varak,

This is such an unapproachable take. Saying things like this really doesn't do anything to help, even if you believe it's true.

alottachairs,
@alottachairs@beehaw.org avatar

It's a take that comes out of experience doing things the wrong way. I would like to gain clarity on what you mean here, Are you saying white people should expect BIPOC to answer questions for them? All I'm reccommending is that the burden of people who gain the benefit of white privilege, should be the ones tasked with educating themselves. Not addressing BIPOC communities saying "Hey, I'm expecting you teach me how to act right".

N0_Varak,

So wait, youre not BIPOC and yet you're still gonna speak for them and tell other people not to ask them for opinions?

Oof

alottachairs,
@alottachairs@beehaw.org avatar

What is it that i'm saying "for them"? - Because I didnt say anything FOR anybody. My comment was directed from 1 white person, to another white person, who admitted they where not educated on this topic. Do not misconstrue my words into anything else then what they are.

Chrisosaur,

If a person is challenging the opinion of a marginalized person, I could see this being a reasonable response. This person is pretty clearly attempting to overcome their biases. Telling them to do their own research, instead of pointing them in a direction, is asking for them to find the “wrong” person’s opinion and take it to heart. It’s a missed opportunity for dialogue, and contributes nothing.

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