I just buried the last of my pet rats. I love what pets bring us, but I hate the cost.

Three years ago my wife and I got three pet rats. A little over a year later, we added two more, and for a brief moment had a lovely little mischief of five happy boys.

Then we lost one of the new babies in a freak accident after he got injured during a scrap, then, a few months after that, the first of the original trio left us, and so on, and so on, until today, when the last of the new babies, who was now just over two, passed away.

And as much as I try to focus on the happy times, watching them boing about on the sofa, or stealing snacks from us, or just snuggling inside the hood of my jumper and falling asleep, it’s really hard to reconcile that with their short little lives.

We recently adopted a pair of 6yo cats, and while they could feasibly spend the next 10/15 years with us, there’s always that nagging doubt that they’ll suddenly develop an incurable illness, and we’ll lose them too soon.

But that’s all kinda worth it when they’re asleep on your lap, purring away. Or in the case of the ratties, boggling and bruxing.

Sorry if this is a bit maudlin; I’ve just buried Wilbur in the garden, and I miss my little toast-stealing friend.

Wilbur

HowlsSophie,

I’ve got a client going through this right now and it’s devastating for her, as her rats are like her kids and they’re all she has. She’s lost two since I started seeing her.

I’ve learned SO much about rats while having her as a client and I can see how deeply owners connect with them, thus making it that much harder when they pass away because they don’t live very long (compared to cats and dogs).

Sending positive vibes your way during this difficult time!

reverendsteveii,

This is a very real and normal part of having rats as pets. I’m sorry you have to go through it. My partner and I nearly gave on rats after loving an oops litter for nearly 2 years then losing all 8 of them over the course of a couple months. It was just the normal time for a rat to be done being a rat, but it felt like a biblical plague. Seemed like every week I had to put another of my friends in the garden out front of the old apartment.

While trying to figure out what to do with all this grief, we came across the myth that when a child dies, some god or another sprinkles daisies across the earth where that child lived or where they were buried. My rats occupied an interesting intersection where they were not, of course, children but they were absolutely My Babies. In light of this, we decided to get a daisy to plant over the spot where they rest, right next to one another just like they did every night when they were rats. It was an African daisy in particular, which is an annual in all but the southernmost USDA hardiness zones and will die annually basically anywhere in the US except along the southern border. We are in Pennsylvania, but somehow that African daisy has been going strong outside the old apartment for four years now. It pops beautiful flowers every summer and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down, even though the new tenant is clearly not taking care of it at all. The rational-depressive in me is thinking about climate change, but the romantic in me sees a plant being kept alive against all odds by the sheer accumulated love and silliness of 16 rat-years. My friends saying hello, and letting me know they’re okay.

As far as giving up rats, we had decided to. We even gave away one of our three cages and were looking for homes for the other two when a breeder came across on Craigslist who had the goofiest, most beautiful pink eyed double rex beans I’d ever seen. So we hopped in the car for a couple hours drive and we’re rat parents again. The heartache is real, but it’s worth it. They’re litter mates, so odds are we’ll have a rattie mass extinction event some time in the next year or so. That’s gonna hurt a lot. But for now they’re cute, and silly and playful. They do tricks and get into mischief. We’re fortunate enough to have a spare bedroom that we’ve rat-proofed and filled with obstacles and hides and dig boxes. We even got to put little floating shelves on the wall and built them a super Mario Bros themed obstacle wall. The best part is, when they come out of the cage for enrichment time they line up at the door and everyone gives me a kiss and gets a cheerio.

Overzeetop,

I grew up with animals on a farm and was pretty callous (not because of the farm, just immature lack of empathy). I caved in and let the family get a rescue pup several years ago. She wasn’t “mine,” really, but it still hit me incredibly hard when she passed. I went to get a cotton cloth to bury her in the day before before she was put down (uncorrectable, painful colitis) and the cashier asked me what I was making. I said it was for my dog, then got into my truck and ugly cried. It’s the second pet I’ve lost as an adult and it will be my last. I can’t deal with the pain. Good for you for adopting the cats; I hope they bring you solace for the time being and many enjoyable years.

danhab99,
@danhab99@programming.dev avatar

Mind if I joined you down here? I lost my cat to old age. I still remember how I felt when I walked into that really nice room at the vets office. I remember to let me hold him for like another hour, I really shouldn’t have, he was in a lot of pain but he was pretty sedated too. I remember kicking and screaming when they told me it was time for him to go.

I can’t do it again. And that guilt will follow me forever. I can never give my love to anything else like that. Doesn’t that feel so hollow?

Overzeetop,

I tear up just thinking about it. In a way it was worse because she was having a (then rare) “good day” and I think we were all sort of second guessing whether she needed to go. OTOH, she went as easily as possible, with all of us there, and in our house. I found a vet who would make house calls and would come to us. They are family, but they are more. We are their guardian and their provider as well as their companion. I think it’s natural, no - I think to some extent it’s healthy, or at least right - to feel the way we do. But it’s also healthy, for us, to know our limits and be mindful of our own mental health. hugs

Kra,

Oh man I am so sorry for your loss. Your pet looks amazing and I am sure he liked you a lot and had a good life.

I lost two rats. One of them was like a really close friend to me and I know he trusted me and I think he knew I saved his life when I adopted him. He was so happy the day I bought him a friend. This friend loved food over everything and was so curious and stole from my breakfast every morning. He almost loved every food. I love thinking about them and our time together.

Now I am with two boys left. They are so adorable and still sleeping right now. I am glad that they are still alive bit I can see them aging and it hurts. Probably will not buy another rat again after this because I also cannot bear it. They are the cutest critters and deserve life so much more than a lot of the violent and disrespectful human scum outside that I have to tolerate every day. Life is not fair at all. Thank you for sharing your story.

EponymousBosh,

One of my cats just got diagnosed with kidney disease. We caught it fairly early, but she’s 15 years old and it feels like this might be the beginning of the end. Even 15 years feels too short. As Tamsyn Muir wrote, “Life is too short, and love is too long.”

LallyLuckFarm,

Sending our condolences your way, friend. It’s never easy saying goodbye.

heliodorh,

So sorry for your loss. As I get older, losing my pets hits harder and harder. I’m at the point where I don’t know if I can do it anymore after this generation of pets. It kills me.

Kajo,

Losing a pet is always heartbreaking. It reminds me the ones I lost. I share your grief, fellow beeple.

JPAKx4,

It’s better to love and lose, then to be lost without love.

criticon,

We lost our cat last week, he was supposed to be 2yo when we adopted him but after he got very sick the vet told us he was probably a senior cat. He was with us for 3 years (covid baby) and I miss him so much, it’s so hard to lose a pet, everyone I return home the house feels so empty. I’m sorry for your loss OP, I hope it gets better

zabby,

Sorry for your loss, friend.

I’ve tried to talk my husband into adding some rats into our family SEVERAL times. Usually I feel like I’m making compelling points and am close to convincing him. But then he usually hits me with the question: “How are you going to handle losing them after a few years?”

I never have a good answer to that one 😥

PlatinumSf,

Life will always be brief. It reminds us to focus on quality and live in the moment. Everything dies eventually, it’s the one trait we all share with every other living being and the cosmos itself.

RickRussell_CA,

My wife and I used to keep guinea pigs and gerbils, and I had a hedgehog for awhile, over a span of about 15 years. The last guinea pig passed in the mid-2000s.

It was worth it, but as I near retirement, I wouldn’t do it again. I’ve had that experience, and I treasure it, but I don’t need to do it again.

Spaghetti_Hitchens,

Sorry for you loss.

I feel similarly about dogs. They give us a decade or so of unconditional love and then break our heart.

timicin,

i know how you feel; i haven't been able to stop grieving over my last 2 and i won't have anymore because of it.

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