It’s a piece of life advice I wished I’d learned earlier because I try to live by it now: the thing people will remember about you is how you made them feel.
Someone i talked to discord once said he stopped cutting themselves because of me. He never had anyone to talk to and I just was there for him to talk for a few weeks. One of the proudest moments of my life.
20+ years ago when I was 20ish years old, I was working carpentry outside in 110 degree heat every day. I didn’t have a car, so I’d walk 3 miles with my toolbag to work and back every day. One day this guy in a big ass pickup truck pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride. I gladly accepted. He told me he was a Christian and tries to live by Christianity, doing unto others and all that. He saw me the previous day and decided that since he had seen me twice, he’d give me a ride. It happened that he drove home from work every day at the same time that I walked home. So for the next two weeks he pulled over and offered me a ride every single day. We moved to a different job site at the end of the two weeks, but I’ve never forgotten that guy. Just a genuinely nice person. He never asked for anything in return, wasn’t creepy, and didn’t expect anything from me. I offered to give him some money for gas and he refused, saying he’d be driving that way anyways. Anyways, that’s a long story to illustrate that the post is correct. Somewhere out there there’s a person who remembers your kindness.
Wow they should reach out to me. Being randomly nice to people doesn’t actually give me a whole lot of social capital. Thats because it is a people pleasing behavior, and leaves one more vulnerable to social problems. I think, basically you feel you’re putting the effort in, but its spread out among many targets.
I think its a similar lack of social understanding to “nice guys” who expect you to be interested in them for their niceness. Right? And then they aren’t nice when it doesnt work. Well I am genuinely nice, but it still doesnt pay off, because being interesting to keep as company isnt just being randomly nice to people.
Thats the “nice guy” argument. Its transactional for them, not me. Im taking stock of how many people I can remember being especially randomly nice to, and wonder if I could have made a friend.
Yeah but I bet more of them remember me for that time I did a Double-Ender in the middle of Outback Steakhouse on my way to the restroom. That’s how I found out what food poisoning was yall
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