I’m old enough that it was pretty simple when I was figuring things out and felt the need to define and label myself. It was straight, gay or lesbian, and bi. I was attracted to women so not straight, men so not lesbian, ergo bi. The term covered a lot of ground back then.
I’ve never considered “pan” for very long because so many people who identified as pan a few years ago when it was being talked about a lot defined it as if attraction to things like personality and character weren’t the norm and the very idea was a novel concept discovered by themselves. Rolled my eyes, adjusted my bifocals and let the young folk get on with it. 😋
Now I’m old enough my orientation is basically the social and sexual invisibility of post-fertile middle aged women, compounded by the invisibility of chronic illness and the online nastiness towards middle aged women in general. Too much frustration trying to make myself seen as a person in most spaces.
I keep “bi” as a nod to who I used to be and times past, rather than anything others might find interesting or useful to know.
just bi. imo terms like pan and omni don’t fulfill the criteria to be a “good label”* well enough for me to adopt- omni is not well known at all, and pan is too confusing what with all its different definitions. with pan especially, i find that i need to ask every individual who uses it exactly what they mean when they use it, since everyone says something different (regardless of genders, all genders, etc.) which is just too much hassle compared to the very well known bi.
*just my opinion for labels, idrc if others use omni or pan but for me at least i think the whole purpose of a label is to convey a concept to others quickly and easily
I usually just say I’m bisexual but mostly into chicks/not interested in dating men. “Homoromantic bisexual” would be appropriate, but I’ve only used that term once I think, when my straight friend was curious about my sexuality changing and asked if I had moved on the Kinsey scale, and I used the split attraction model to explain that I still found men just as hot, I just lost the desire to be romantic with them.
I'm trying to get 'pansexual' to get broader acceptance within the people I know, but if I'm talking to someone I KNOW is going to be clueless (or feign cluelessness) then I'll stick to 'bisexual'. Some people aren't ready for the 'gender as a spectrum' conversations. >_<
The only person I heard “omnisexual” used for was Captain Jack Harkness. So now I have questions. (Funny: Tell me about the aliens you’ve met and flirted with. Serious: What does that word mean to you?)
I don’t know if there’s a right label for me and honestly, I don’t think it’s necessary.
I’m very lucky that my closest social circle is very open, and I only felt the need to out myself to my parents and my three best friends, and it was more an outing to myself.
Also, while I do have some preferences here and there, a person’s sex and/or gender is simply not a factor for me when I try to figure out if I’m attracted to someone, so why not just lose labels altogether?
Right? I feel the exact same way. About every word of what you said!! I had a difficult time trying to find a label that actually felt right, since it seemed like you have to choose labels. At least when and where I was/am. It’s neat to see someone describe themselves in the same way and to feel ‘seen,’ so to speak. Yay! Thank you! :)
I’m always and everywhere bisexual. I experience attractions both homosexual (same gender as me) and heterosexual (different gender than me), and I see no reason to change my identity because the kids have different words for it. (Nothing wrong with them using their new words for themselves, but if another Gen Zer tries to negate my identity with “that’s just the same as pan,” I’m glitterbombing everything they own.)
Just arm yourself with the definitions when kids bug you.
bi - attraction to multiple genders
pan - attraction regardless of gender
The difference is subtle but its there and it matters.
Also, no one but you gets to put a label on yourself. That's also another good argument.
I identify as bi, but when I tried to figure out the difference between bi and pan it seems like bi fits the “attraction to multiple genders” that fits me just fine. I also felt it came down to preference in the end, for me; and I just love the bi flag colors so I think that helped! :)
Yeah I’m basically sticking with bi because I went through so much crap for it in the 90s (from pretty much all sides).
I experience being attracted to others as bi attraction (not hetero/homosexual) and I only ever have bisexual sex. So maybe there’s another word that means that and would be a better fit to others, Idk.
I don’t mind including other labels as well, but even now, bi erasure is still a thing in my life, and stepping away from identifying as bi altogether would feel like more erasure.
When talking with people who are less versed in the community: Bisexual.
When talking with people more versed in the community: polyamorous biromantic demisexual.
Of course I was identifying as bisexual way before even I was more versed in the specifics of the queer community.
Hell I knew I was bi before I knew what the words for it were. I grew up in a VERY conservative area with VERY conservative family so learning about queerness was mostly just “it’s bad, and they’ll get [redacted] in time”
I use bisexual everywhere and with everyone. I like the bisexual flag more and I like the juxtaposition of it next to enby. So I’m a non-binary bisexual. Alliteration is fun.
I guess you could argue that’s not alliteration because they’re using the same root of “bi” but I still like the sound of it.
Add comment